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What do I say? (Re: friend from earlier...)

RFBsbrideRFBsbride member
in Infertility Veterans

First - thank you ladies so much for the T&Ps.  Sadly, it does not look like our dear friend will be with us for much longer.  I can't believe I just had to type that.  Crying

She has stopped taking food and she can no longer speak.  She has been moved back to her home for her final days.

Some friends have said they sent a card with "their good-byes" and I would like to do the same, but I'm at a total loss.  I have no idea what to say.  I don't know how to form my thoughts of how much I'll miss her into a message in a card.  It just doesn't feel right saying good-bye to her in a card, you know?  Unfortunately, they are not accepting any more visitors (which is probably for the better.)

Has anyone every written a letter like this?  What did you say and how did you say it???

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Re: What do I say? (Re: friend from earlier...)

  • MBfromBMCMBfromBMC

    I can't even imagine what that must be like...

    I would just write about how much I love and cherish her and mention some happy memories.  That really is all you can do...

    I was never in this situation, but I did get to see the grandmother who raised me for a few moments before the end and I all I wanted to tell her was how much I loved her and that I cherished every memory...

    (((huge hugs))) again

    imageimageimage

    TTC since March 2009 // Me and DH - 28
    Testing Summer/Fall 2010 - Unexplained IF
    IUIs #1-4 ~ Clomid/Ovidrel/TI/IUI ~ all BFNs
    IUI #5 ~ Femara/Ovidrel/TI/IUI ~ BFN
    IUIs #6-9 ~ Research Study Meds/Pregnyl/TI/IUI ~ all BFNs
    IVF Consultation, More Testing
    Diagnostic Cycle ~ Mucinex/Progesterone/TI ~ BFN
    IVF #1 ~ Menopur/Bravelle/Ganirelix/Novarel/Progesterone/Lupron
    7R, 6F // 2 transferred // 3 frosties ~ BFN
    FET #1 ~ Estrace/PIO/Lupron
    3 thawed // 2 transferred // 1 lost // no more frosties ~ BFP!!
    Beta #1 - 456 // Beta #2 - 1176 // Beta #3 - 2933 // Beta #4 - 6753
    EDD: May 16, 2013
    Threatened MC at 6w2d
    Bedrest for SCH // 6w2d through 10w1d
    Elevated TSH and Lazy Thyroid DX @ 10w - Started Synthroid
    Finally released from RE at 13w
    Charles Everett ~ Born 5/20/2013

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


    ~~ My IF Blog ~~ 

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  • thewormstheworms member

    i would tell her how much her friendship has and will always mean to you and that you love her

    ((HUGS))

    i'm so sorry

    image
    Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, It empties today of its strength. ~Corrie ten Boom
    Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. ~Mary Anne Radmacher (thank you beadinglady)

    It's been a long journey. TTC since 9/06. multiple IUI's and IVF's and 4 m/c's. IVF#3 = BFP, twins, induced at 34w6d due to baby b passing away (no explanation). Delivered on 35w1d, Baby A - baby girl, and Baby B - baby boy, our little angel.
    MTHFR A1298C & C677T, Immune Issues and Factor II
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  • BeeBee08BeeBee08 member
    I'm so sorry.  My heart is breaking for you.  Huge ((hugs))

     
    me 33/DH 36
    ttc since 10/2008; d/x: mild MFI, stageII endo
    ~~PAIF/SAIF Welcome~~
    11 IUI’s = 1 m/c (7w4d)
    IVF#1 January 2012 BFN, FET #1 April 2012 BFN
    Surprise BFP October 2012 m/c (7w), Surprise BFP April 2013 m/c (6w4d)
    IVF #2: July 2013, ET 1 embryo 7/18, beta 1 @ 14dp3dt - 757, beta 2 @ 16dp3dt - 1762
    U/S 1 @ 6w4d = 1 little frogger with HB of 118, U/S 2 @ 7w3d measuring right on track with HB of 160
    Stick Frogger Stick! Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!   It's a Girl, EDD April 7, 2014

    BabyFruit Ticker

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  • reb259reb259 member
    I am so sorry...big hugs.  I would write what is in your heart...tell how hard it is for you to write this and why.  I would use it as a way for you to have closure as well.
    I am AMA and all tests on H came back normal
    3 failed IVF with OE and 2 failed frozen DE cycles
    Last fresh hail mary DE cycle starting Feb 2013
    PAIF/SAIF always welcome
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  • DeputiesWifeDeputiesWife

    I cant even begin to imagine what you, your famiy as well as hers are going through and i will keep you in my thoughts in the coming days.

    I wrote a letter like that. I wrote it to my boyfriend at the time (now husband)s father before he passed away. I wrote how much of a wonderful person he was, how much we'd miss him, what a great job he did with raising his family and how much i loved him.

    It wasnt fun. I got to read it to him and say goodbye. 

    TTC #2 since June '08

    ~*DD 10.21.07*~

    dx unexplained

    IUI #1-4 BFN

    IVF#1 June 2011 BFN

    IVF#2 Dec 2011

    Beta#1 12/21 : 812 Beta#2 12/23 : 1634

    EDD 8/25

    *PAIFW/SAIFW*

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  • Temp590840000005378Temp590840000005378
    My heart is breakign for you, this is so freaking sad!!  I have no advice other than maybe addressing the family in the letter.  I'm sure your friend knows how much you love her.  Ugh!! I'm so so so sorry!!!
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