Vent - NBR - Etiquette and gifts

Reebs S

My step sister recently got engaged.  She had a nice small engagement party & I got her a picture from from Things Remembered with their names and then engaged on and the date.

I was really excited for her to open it, but she didn't open her gifts at her party b/c she is shy.  This is bad etiquette & my mom was such a stickler about these things it has really rubbed off on me.

So I was  annoyed & sad b/c I REALLY wanted to see her reaction to our gift - this is why we give gifts after all (or at least it's my fav. part).

I got the thank you card - a PRE-PRINTED jobby and all she did was sign her & her fiance's name!  I find those seriously lazy & tacky.

I'l never say anything but it makes me never want to give her a gift again. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Reebs S

DOH from from should read frame from......

tigerlillie101

I recently got a preprinted thank you note for a friend's son's first birthday present and I was completely pissed off too. I find it to be so tacky.

the_magic_number

I can understand not opening gifts in front of everyone but pre-printed TY notes are a bit on the tacky side.

sweetpea7628

Preprinted thank you cards are tacky.  I got one from my BIL and his cow of a wife from their wedding and I was pissed. 

GirlGenius

I've never even HEARD of a pre-printed thank-you. It's proof this nation is in the toilet. How crappy. American culture is over.

SuperSuz

If it makes you feel any better my SIL has a tendency to send thank you notes for Christmas presents on their "family update" letter that they send out in January - so in the margins around the letter she'll write thanks for XX.  I suppose it's better than the usual nothing that she does.  Some people are just rude.

Sunny1inTucson

Eh, I don't care so much about the opening presents in private or just not at the party. If you're her sister, you could have just waited til the end of the party and made her open it in front of you b/c you were so excited

BUT -- pre-printed TY is ssoooooo tacky! I saw these online when looking at stationery. Eeeew!! As her sister you should really talk to her about that!

divakat

Yes, pre-printed thank you notes are very tacky in my opinion.  My SIL has NEVER sent us a thank you note for any gift we have given her, or actually ever said thank you for any gift we have given her.  Not even her wedding.  The other night I gave her son a very nice winter jacket from Gymboree and a toy fire truck, and I still haven't heard from her. Some people just don't have manners.

DBride2006

If I remember correctly, etiquette says you should NOT open gifts at an engagement party. Unlike a "shower" it is not expected that you bring a gift to an engagement party and opening them in front of everyone could make people uncomfortable if they didn't bring a gift. In the future, if you love to see their expression, I would give a gift privately.

The pre-printed thank you card is tacky, though.

bstngrl578

The opening of the presents would not have bothered me so much....but the pre-printed TY would have! That is super lazy and tacky!

leslienpete

Ugh! So TACKY!!!

Reebs S

I could have made her open her gift, but I think everyone then would have been like open mine open mine so I left it alone. 

We also saw her after the party befroe I git the TY card & she didn't say anything about the gift then either - I just left it alone.

I'm not going to say anything but I might buy her a wedding etiqette book.....kidding.....too passive aggressive for me.

fiasco

GirlGenius:

I've never even HEARD of a pre-printed thank-you. It's proof this nation is in the toilet. How crappy. American culture is over.

 

Ditto

AJBMD915

Yep, I agree, I would be really annoyed about the pre-printed thank you note.

Jim&Jaime

It actually wouldn't have been appropriate to open the gifts at the engagement party. 

The pre-printed TYs are redic though.  If it were my sister, I would just say something.  Even if it was in a joking manner, maybe she didn't know any better, or it was suggested by someone else, and she didn't realize how tacky it was.

Geekchick921

If she's shy I can understand her not wanting to open it, plus I don't know if that's proper etiquette for an engagement party (I didn't have one), but I feel you.  I always like seeing people's reactions to gifts, especially when you got her something thoughtful like that.

The pre-printed card thing sucks, though.  I am behind on writing thank you cards because I feel like I should be writing something longer and personalized and it takes me awhile to do.

Reebs S

I disagree about the opening of the gifts - I think if people travel to see you and bring gifts you should open them in front of them - I have never been to an engagement party where gifts were not present & opened.

 

megs042107

totally understand the not opening of gifts in front of others as at an engagement party you are not supposed to. ?

as for the pre-printed ty notes... T-A-C-K-Y.?

EastCoastBride

Well, as I don't feel e-parties are gift giving occasions, I feel your sister was actually in the right to NOT open the gifts then and there.  That's not the point of the party, unlike a shower.

however, the pre-printed thank yous are VERY rude.

brideofaussie

Reebs_RI:

I disagree about the opening of the gifts - I think if people travel to see you and bring gifts you should open them in front of them - I have never been to an engagement party where gifts were not present & opened.

Then your SIL isn't the only one who needs to be given an etiquette book.

Gifts should not come with obligations like that.

But I agree about the pre-printed TY.