She thinks a c-section is "The easy way out"

2-Step

There is a woman at my work that constantly tells me I am taking the easy way out! She says it to me and another woman who is pregnant because we are both having c-sections, then she proceeds to brag about her daughter who had an emergency c-section and plans a vbac. I informed her that major abdominal surgery is not the easy way out and she said- "well at least you won't be in labor for 3 days, now that is difficult!"

I said - Yes, I expereienced labor for 3 days last time and guess what - it would've been fairly easy in comparison if the baby just would've come out! I highly doubt my recovery would be nearly as bad and I didn't think actual labor was that bad compared to recovery from having my abs sliced open.

If she says I'm taking the easy way out one more time I swear I might smack her!

RumbleLina

Smack her anyways.

ETA: Do it off work grounds though so you can't get in trouble at work

neya28

If I had a guarantee that laboring for another 3 days (I did that last time) will result in a delivery, I'd do it in a heartbeat over major surgery. However (and we don't get credit for this) I did both last time and I'm not taking any chances of going through that again.

mama livingston

Can I smack her too?!?!? People are so stupid! I am sorry that your coworker is such a db.

I know that I have huge guilt issues over having a c-section. I already feed bad enough about it, and then others go and make me feel even worse. You're right, major surgery like that is NOT the easy way out. I was almost 24 hrs into my induction (my baby was super tiny and my ob felt it was safer for her to be out than in. I was 39 weeks 1 day, so I was full term anyway) when DD started to have problems tolerating the labor and told us that she wouldn't survive if we continued. So not only were we looking at a c-section but we also had the fear that we might lose her on to of it. Unless you've been there and have been through it, don't knock it. I hate that I can't get my baby out oh her bassinet and that DH does most of the care taking while I'm still trying to recover. I also hate knowing I will never experience labor and delivery....however I LOVE that my baby girl is sleeping right next to me and I LOVE that she is safe and healthy.

 

Crystal318

PLEASE smack her!!!!!!!!! 

I was in labor for three days and then ended up with an emergency c-section (Lucky me - I got the best of both worlds)!!

My son was born with GBS (amongst other things) even though I had tested negative. He ended up spending 17 days in the NICU and almost didnt make it. I will NEVER EVER attempt a VBAC just for the fact that I am petrified of having another baby have to go through what my son went through.....and I don't consider having your stomach sliced open while your fully awake and having a baby tugged out of it "the easy way out"

 OMG - I want to smack her for you!!!!!!!!! 

2-Step

mama livingston:

Can I smack her too?!?!? People are so stupid! I am sorry that your coworker is such a db.

I know that I have huge guilt issues over having a c-section. I already feed bad enough about it, and then others go and make me feel even worse. You're right, major surgery like that is NOT the easy way out. I was almost 24 hrs into my induction (my baby was super tiny and my ob felt it was safer for her to be out than in. I was 39 weeks 1 day, so I was full term anyway) when DD started to have problems tolerating the labor and told us that she wouldn't survive if we continued. So not only were we looking at a c-section but we also had the fear that we might lose her on to of it. Unless you've been there and have been through it, don't knock it. I hate that I can't get my baby out oh her bassinet and that DH does most of the care taking while I'm still trying to recover. I also hate knowing I will never experience labor and delivery....however I LOVE that my baby girl is sleeping right next to me and I LOVE that she is safe and healthy.

 

Yes, lets all smack her! Sorry to hear about your experience. I had guilt about my labor experience as well, but it did get better with time. It still stings a little when I hear about a friend who had a fabulous delivery, but I'm starting to accept that labor really is a battle and if mom and baby both come out healthy then we won! GL with your recovery and your new baby girl!

EveryNameIWantIsTaken

Maybe I'm in the minority here, but I am so relieved to be having a repeat c this time.  Seriously, if I went through the hellish labor I went through last time, only to end up with another c-section, I'd end up in the looney bin.  To me, it does seem easier than facing the possibility that my body would fail me yet again.

FlashMeyer

That really pisses me off. CS are not an easy way out. After 4 hours of pushing and failed forceps I had a cs only to lose blood pressure on operating table when they were putting me back together. My poor husband thought I was going to die when the alarms starting going off. My recovery post surgery was horrible including infections that would not heal. My incision bled for 3.5 months. CS ARE NOT AN EASY WAY OUT, DAMMIT.

2-Step

EveryNameIWantIsTaken:

Maybe I'm in the minority here, but I am so relieved to be having a repeat c this time.  Seriously, if I went through the hellish labor I went through last time, only to end up with another c-section, I'd end up in the looney bin.  To me, it does seem easier than facing the possibility that my body would fail me yet again.

I feel the same way, which is why I am having a repeat c-section. I think the point is that choosing what is best for your body and your baby does not mean you are choosing the easy way out like it's a cop-out or something. Some of us are not built to be able to have natural delivery and that doesn't make a c-section any easier or less complex to recover from than a VBAC.

Disneygeek77

Ignore her.  She sounds like one of those people that puts others down in order to make themselves feel better.

I have had three c-sections.  First one was an emergency and I wasn't in labor or anything, just getting a non stress test when the baby's heart rate went down.  Second c-section was my choice and couldn't choose a vbac after that.

I personally think that both birth methods are about equal as far as ease is concerned.  Even if having a c-section was an easy way out, so what.  What does she care how others choose to have a baby ? 

Seriously, she is just a busy body who is just trying to make herself feel better.  Nest time she say it give her the "WTH is wrong with you, you crazy person" look

genekelly

I think that this might be a common misconception about c-sections just because they are fairly routine. Before having one I thought it would be no big deal and I'd get back to normal fairly quickly.  It was only afterwards that I realized how badly I was misinformed.  My recovery is going well but I can't help but think how much more quickly it might have gone had I been able to deliver vaginally.  If this woman thinks it is so easy, why is her daughter trying for a VBAC?  I think her daughter knows better than your coworker!

kimmyg000

You should tell her that her daughter is taking the easy way out because she doesn't have to recover from surgery if she even does have a succesful vbac. I went through labor, pushed, and ended up with c/s anyways. That was not easy. I never want to experience racing to the OR ever again.

vette_99

Why would someone say this?  Seriously, I don't get people!!

I have a friend, who has no children, that always would talk about how she'll have a natural birth and wouldn't want drugs, and blah, blah, blah. 

I recently told her that I thought that it was great that she wants to do that, but to be aware that sometimes things don't work out the way we want them to and to be prepared for that.  I then proceeded to explain to her that I went into all of it with a pretty open mind, with the hopes of having a natural birth, but never thought that I would need to have a c/s.  I told her that it made me feel defeated and broken, but that it was best for me and for DS.  

She apologized to me and told me that she had no idea how it made me feel.  She no longer says these things to me.

 

Brady77

I laugh to myself when people think this, especially when most women (myself included) endured horrible labor with no progression for hours on end only to wind up on a surgical table at the end of it.  I would have preferred if my 16 hours of back labor had resulted in a kid instead of surgery.

lbursey

This woman is delusional.  She needs to have her stomach cut open first and then she can talk!!!!!  Most of us went through the 'worst' part of labour and then also had a c-section.  We should be given medals!!  haha

EveryNameIWantIsTaken

2-Step:

EveryNameIWantIsTaken:

Maybe I'm in the minority here, but I am so relieved to be having a repeat c this time.  Seriously, if I went through the hellish labor I went through last time, only to end up with another c-section, I'd end up in the looney bin.  To me, it does seem easier than facing the possibility that my body would fail me yet again.

I feel the same way, which is why I am having a repeat c-section. I think the point is that choosing what is best for your body and your baby does not mean you are choosing the easy way out like it's a cop-out or something. Some of us are not built to be able to have natural delivery and that doesn't make a c-section any easier or less complex to recover from than a VBAC.

Couldn't agree with that part more.  I admire people who attempt vbacs because I don't have the guts to try again.

Jill070707

Bullish!t. This makes me so mad!

Rach21

I wouldn't say a darn thing to her (though I think she is a twat). You reap what you sow, and I really hope her daughter who had an emergency C-section doesn't have complications with her VBAC. By her being such a blitch to you and your other coworker, she's setting herself up for some huge karma.

manbearpig31610

When it comes to childbirth, there is no easy way out. No matter what, it's hard and it all sucks. That's just how it is but it's worth it in the end. Believe me, as soon as someone thinks of an "easy way out," (perhaps, some kind of stork delivery?) I will be the first to sign up!

LadyXaverian

manbearpig31610:

When it comes to childbirth, there is no easy way out. No matter what, it's hard and it all sucks. That's just how it is but it's worth it in the end. Believe me, as soon as someone thinks of an "easy way out," (perhaps, some kind of stork delivery?) I will be the first to sign up!

Exactly. I don't know why some women feel the need to try to one-up each other when it comes to birth experiences.

FWIW, my sister had a c-section due to my first niece being breeched, and then she had 2 successful (and fairly "easy" vbacs). She said she'd choose a vaginal delivery any day over a c/s, but that's just her experience. 

babyrichsmama

I hate when people say that....like having your whole stomach cut open is way safer, easier!?!?!? Geesh...it's so annoying!

amethyst13

My sister in law has had 4 vaginal births and I'm having my 3rd csection.  I always feel like she thinks my births are the much easier way out too.  I think if they actually had to experience it they wouldn't think it was so easy.

annabelle.27

*shrug* I had a c-section, and honestly, I do think it is the easy way out. I was in labour for 16 hours with my son before my emergency c-section, and a (large) part of me would like to sign up for the elective repeat c-section so I don't have to go through labour again. I found recovery to be much, much easier than labour.

Everyone is different, with different ideas of what they can handle.

novilise

C-sections haven't been terrible for me, but then my 24 hour labor wasn't terrible either until my baby was stuck in my pelvis. So neither one is fun! But for me ...breastfeeding is the absolute worst of them all!

I think it's a calculated risk either way. A c-section can be terrible for some to heal from or easier for others, a vaginal birth can go pretty badly or it can go quickly and nearly pain-free for a few. I think the chances of my having the latter- the quick, pain-free vaginal birth are really slim! So, for me, c-sections are probably a better option than a vaginal birth....but who knows for sure. It really is a risk to weigh preemptively. Usually, neither option is completely easy!