Update from I'm new/ worried... I finally got the boards to work on my phone. No Internet in the middle of nowhere. Anyway, an update is due. We still haven't heard anything from BM regarding SS. She did text my DH after we got married to say congrats despite the fact that she HATES me. BM has not seen SS since the beginning of April and even then spent less than 48 hours with him because she will not pick up SS if he is not 100% healthy. She will also bring him back or call for someone to pick him up if he gets sick while with her. She didnt even tell SS Happy Birthday when he turned 3. I am still uncertain of her exact residence as she has moved 2 or 3 times in the past month and has not informed us of her address change. Yes she is in contempt yet again. She has also blown through 3 or 4 jobs in two months. Yet again in contempt for not notifying us or the courts. I was looking through her FB and noticed she has full frontal naked pics of SS and her other son posted for all to see. My DH and I have a problem with this, but of course she doesn't care. SS asked me where his other mom (BM) was... And I had to tell him I didn't know. I don't believe in lying or covering for a worthless POS. He said ok and asked for some more blueberries. Anyways it's been 5 months since SS has seen or heard from BM. I keep up with BM happenings via DH facebook. During these 5 months she has moved 4 or 5 times lost 4 or 5 jobs. She had also openly had affairs with other men while leaving her other son at home with her husband. She also left her other son with random people while she was out messing around with other men. Yes this has all been seen posted on her FB and she has not denied it. Shocking what some people post. She also got pregnant while her an her husband were split. She claims she miscarried less than 7 weeks ago. And now she is 9 almost 10 weeks pregnant. I'm not claiming to be a math whiz, but that math just doesn't work for me. How can they overlap?! A friend from back home has a great family lawyer and when DH and I have the funds we are going to take her back to court. New lawyer from my hometown. I told my friend unless her lawyer was willing to rip all of her parental rights from her I wasn't interested. I need a ruthless lawyer who can make the judges in this town see BM for what she is. A good for nothing only comes around to stir up trouble doesn't care about her son's own well being POS!!
On a lighter note: I have finally got SS potty trained!!! He is in big boy underware now! Yay!!! He now knows all his colors, can count to ten, and is slowly learning the alphabet. I am slowly piecing together his scrapbooks from before I became a part of his life and SS loves to watch and help stick things in place. He is also reading along with his tag JR. He is eating much healthier and growin like a weed. He is three and at my hip already... And I am 5'8. He is so big now... He will be out of 4Ts before we know it! I just love that boy with all my heart.
As for the nude photos, send a message to FB (from DH's account would be best) saying this is your child and for them to remove all naked photos of him. And copy and save everything from her FB page for when you go to court.
As for lying and covering for a POS, I do agree with what you told him this time that you just don't know but there will be times in the coming years that if she does not change you will be lying or covering...for HIM. It will suck that you are in that position but you just cannot be honest with a 3yo about everything.
Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies
Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
Thank you. It is a hard road when the BM is a horrible mother. I understand not having money. I have been there, but feeding and clothing your child when he is with you isn't an option. Neither is him having a place to sleep. He needs stability. As for lying... I will not lie to my child or my SS. I'm sorry I just think honesty is the best policy. When the time comes when I feel as though I need to lie I will try to divert to something else or tell him the truth. Now do know my SS has no idea how my DH and I actually feel about his BM. As far as he is concerened we like her. What else am I supposed to tell him other than I don't know if we haven't heard from her in months? I can still protect my SS without lying. It is harder but completely do-able.
Re: Update--- LONG.. Vent.
Do you have a link to the OP?
As for the nude photos, send a message to FB (from DH's account would be best) saying this is your child and for them to remove all naked photos of him. And copy and save everything from her FB page for when you go to court.
As for lying and covering for a POS, I do agree with what you told him this time that you just don't know but there will be times in the coming years that if she does not change you will be lying or covering...for HIM. It will suck that you are in that position but you just cannot be honest with a 3yo about everything.