Multiples

DoM

How do your SOs deal with their roles as a DoM? I am starting to feel like I need to make a more concerted effort to help him become more comfortable with our girls.

They are just about four months old and have been at home with us for two and a half months. At the NICU, DH was fabulous. He was eager to do everything with them. He gave baths, took temps, everything. During his paternity leave, he was great too. He always was holding a baby and was so good at soothing them. It was as if all I had to do to turn a fussy baby to a happy baby was to have her lay down on DH's chest.

Now things are different. He is still helpful and doing his best, so this is in no way a vent about him. I just want to help him. I feel like he is really intimidated by the girls. He is fine taking care of one, but he gets very anxious whenever he has them both. He doesn't know how to handle it when they cry at the same time. If I tell him what to do, he just passes me one. Our method when he is home has been divide and conquer, which is fine, but I feel like he needs to know how to take care of them both. 

So what do you think? How can I get him to be more comfortable as a DoM?

Re: DoM

  • My girls are 20 mos and I have just now been able to leave DH at home to put them to bed/nap etc.  I could leave him before but not for too long with both of them and he couldn't do bed/nap time without me.  It took a while for my husband.  These are our first kids and DH is an only child.  He was intimidated by them as well, esp. when they were really little.  I did all the baths and he did other things.  As they have gotten older he has gotten better.  Talk to him about it, but 2 screaming babies can be overwhelming for anyone...I know it was for me too.  GL and I promise it will get better.  I can't tell by your ticker how old your babies are but I am assuming they are really little. 
  • imagekelliwill:
    My girls are 20 mos and I have just now been able to leave DH at home to put them to bed/nap etc.  I could leave him before but not for too long with both of them and he couldn't do bed/nap time without me.  It took a while for my husband.  These are our first kids and DH is an only child.  He was intimidated by them as well, esp. when they were really little.  I did all the baths and he did other things.  As they have gotten older he has gotten better.  Talk to him about it, but 2 screaming babies can be overwhelming for anyone...I know it was for me too.  GL and I promise it will get better.  I can't tell by your ticker how old your babies are but I am assuming they are really little. 

    They are going to be four months old next week. I am too technologically unsavvy to figure out how to change the ticker.  

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  • Do you ever leave him alone with both of them? Maybe just getting a little practice (without you "looking over his shoulder," so to speak, or being there to jump in) would boost his confidence. Go out for a few hours and stay close by; let him know you'll come home and rescue him if he needs it, all he has to do is call.

    BTW, re: the siggy-- you just have to go and make a new one, then paste the code into your sig.

    married 03/08/08 -- ttc with PCOS (dx 2005) & DS
    IUI #3 gave us the best 2nd anniv. gift ever: 2 babies! (born 03/09/10)
    Peanut and Little Man are getting so big! 2 years old already!
    image
    finally blogging again at This Will Be: An Adventure
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