3rd Trimester

If you have another LO already...

Will DH/SO/FI, etc. be staying in the hospital with you and the new baby?  Why or why not?  My DH will be staying with me.  This wasn't negotiable in my book.  We have family very close by that DS will stay with while we are in the hospital.  I feel very strongly that we should treat this LO like we did our first (all in the hospital together to bond and for DH to help me out while I am recovering).  I know not everyone has the resources at home to do this (i.e. someone to take care of other LO's), but I am just curious what everyone is doing and what your reasoning is for it.
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Re: If you have another LO already...

  • Dh will be staying with me. The hospital is 45 minutes away. DS1 will be watched by my grandma and sister as long as DS2 doesn't show up before Oct. 25(EDD Oct. 29). Otherwise he will be watched by my DH's coworker and his wife until my family can get up here. (12 hour drive, so they will be flying in).
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  • No, he's going home, but he also went home when DS1 was born. He spent the nights before DS was born, but once he was here, he slept at home. No use in him being uncomfy in a hospital bed. Plus, I really want DS1 to sleep in his own bed. He is more aware of what's going on than the new bay will be and it's going to be a huge adjustment for him. I would feel better keeping him on his routine as best I can.
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  • I'm letting him decide if he wants to stay or come home. It doesn't reallymatter to me right now. Of course it also depends on how the delivery goes. His mom lives with us and our two daughters are 14 & 10 so they understand thatbrother is going to need a little more attention.
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  • DH will be with me for the delivery.  Then, he'll go get the boys from a friend's house and bring them to the hospital.  I don't agree that you should exclude the siblings from this occasion, cause they are part of the family too.  

    DH will bring them to the hospital for a bit, then take them home for dinner/bed.  He will then bring them back the next day to take me and the new LO home.

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  • It is our plan that DH will do the same this time around as last time.  He will stay the first night, but not the second.  This worked out well for us the first time around because on the second night I sent the baby to the nursery for most of the night and he went home so we both got better rest that night.  This time, though, he will also take DS home with him that second night.  Our family lives very close too, and DS is VERY close with my parents so he'll be staying there with them the first night.
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  • DH will spend the nights at the hospital. He has stayed over for each of our kids.  When we had DS (child #2) DH would go home to shower, play with DD, and then head back to the hospital. My parents stayed with DD, so DH could be with me.  We are planning on it being similar this go around, but it will be ILs staying with the kids this time.  I appreciate having DH at the hospital.  It gives us time with just the baby, supports me, and keeps me company. There is no right answer, but this is what works for us.

    ETA:  Also, our hospital does not have a well baby nursery, so there really isn't the option of sending the baby out of the room.  That makes it more important for me to have DH around to help out.   

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  • Depends on how things work out. With DD1, I was in the the hospital longer before her birth than after. I only spent one night there after she was born. DH stayed the first night of the induction, went home the second, stayed the third because she was born in the middle of the night, and went home the night after she was born. 

    While I would like to have DH there as mush as possible, I also want DD1 to have some normalcy so I will likely send DH home at least to put her to bed. We don't know yet who will be staying with her or if she'll have to go stay with friends, so that probably sways my answer in favor of sending DH home for her sake. 

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  • DH will be at the hospital with me because 1. we're having twins this time, and 2. DS's grandparents are close and would LOVE have him.
  • Absolutely. I'll probably be in too much pain to get up and get the baby for myself, etc. He's also my husband and best friend, so there's nobody else I'd want there with me. DD can stay with grandma.
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  • I'm sending my husband home.  The chair that folds out into a "bed" SUCKS.  It was painful watching him try to sleep on it.  He's a Dr. there and I almost sent him to the on call room for a real bed the first time. 

    The nanny will be available during work hours at least and since my husband won't know when we will have the baby, he will still have to do his scheduled cases (he will reschedule any while I'm actually IN labor).

    My in-laws will take our son after hours if I'm in labor, otherwise my husband will be there.

    I don't know, I guess I just don't like people in my house when I'm not there and I would rather he be at home instead of having to drag the p-n-p to the inlaws since I seem to be the only person who can actually assemble it. Seriously, no one else has figured it out. 

  • I'm not delivering in a hospital so I will be home 4-6 hours after giving birth.  Same thing after having DD#2.  He'll stay with me and baby for those 4-6 hours though.  My parents will likely take the kids overnight either the first or second night we are home though to give us a bit of a break.   

    I don't know what we would do if I was staying in the hospital.  He'd probably go home to sleep.

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  • Our plan is for DH to stay with me the whole time, but we are open to the fact that can change. DD is starting kindergarten this year, and if we have the baby during the week, I don't know that I want to make family responsible for getting her to and from school, especially since she would have to stay the night with them and the closest family member that can help lives 30 minutes away but goes to school full time.

    In my perfect world, I would have a successful VBAC on a Friday and be home by Sunday! That way I don't have to worry about DD getting to school and DH having to leave me at the hospital. 

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  • We'll do what we did the first time around. DH spent most of the time there but I sent him home for the night to get some rest himself and take care of the cat. We don't have the cat problem anymore because my mom is here with us (we have no family in the area, they are all back in Europe), she is watching DS for the time we are gone... but I still want DH to get some decent rest in our bed. I really don't want him exhausted when we take the baby home because he will be the one to get up at night, change the baby and hand her over to me for nursing while I am recovering.
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  • DH will be with me during the day, but will not be staying overnight. DD has a really difficult time with change, and it's important to us that she be able to be in her own home in her own bed. My mom will take DD to daycare each day, and DH will come to the hospital with me during the day, then go home for her bed time. The first time around, he had to leave to walk our dogs each day, and he'd have to do that again this time as well, so, I figured why not have him go home, be with DD, and get a good night's rest. I will miss him at night, but there are a bazillion nurses to help and he'll be there every day, all day, so I am very happy with our plan.
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  • I am totally fine w/ sleeping on my own there.  we live 4 miles away and i'd rather MH and his bad back  be sleeping in our bed than in a chair.  I will have plenty of help from the nurses if i need it and I will be happy to have some girl bonding time w/ my new daughter. 
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  • Not sure yet.  DH will likely stay with me, but we will have to see who is available to watch DD.  We have a lot of family close so it shouldn't be an issue to find someone to stay with her, but you never know.
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  • No, DH will be home at night with DD. She's never had anyone else watch her overnight and aside from daycare, only my mom (who lives 1700 miles away) or my SIL has ever watched her. DD's world will be chaotic enough and we want to keep some consistency for her.
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  • DH stayed with me except for one night where he went home to be with our son.  I wanted that time to bond with DD as well. However, she's been in the NICU so it hasn't quite been like with our first.  But it was still good to have DH there for most of the time I was recovering, and we were able to have family trade off with with DS until I was discharged.
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  • I JUST made my decision about this, DH said whatever I wanted. DS could go to my parents so we do have that option. However, after talking to some other mothers, I think I'm going to have DS2 go to the nursery at night so I can rest, DH will go home so he can rest. Otherwise, if DH stays, DS2 is in the room with us no one slept well (as I know it's going to be). However, after recovering from a c-section, I think those first few days, if I can get as much rest and sleep as possible and DH isn't out of sorts, that when I come homes with DS2, we'll all function better. I could change my mind when the time comes but it seems like the best way for me to heal the first few nights.
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  • The first night I would like DH to be there. The second night I would like him to be home with DS. I just don't want him to be without his parents for too long and I want him to be in the comfort of his own home. My SIL will be watching him while we are at the hospital. We are so lucky that she lives right next to us. So she can take him right away. The night DH stays with DS I want him to bring DS to meet his sister. I am going to miss DS like crazy. I am hoping to only have to stay one night if all is fine.
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  • We are playing it by ear. I know the fold out beds are terrible, and we live two blocks from the hospital, so it seems silly to have him stay with me. But at the same time, he doesn't think he's going to want to leave. Our other two are 15 and 9, so it's not a big deal to them.
  • I have no idea what we're doing....

    Ideally, DH would stay with me at least for the first night. But we have no family nearby (they're all 12+ hrs away), and our closest friends here that were supposed to watch DS1 may not be available due to an illness....so I have NO idea what's going to happen. And it's stressing me out.

    He'll probably end up going home in the evenings to stay with DS until my parents arrive. Not ideal, but we just can't leave DS1 overnight with neighbors that he barely knows (we just moved here a few months ago).

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  • I have family super close, so DDs will be with them and DH will be with me, however, our situation isn't that extreme since we're having a birth center birth and can expect to leave for home within about three hours of birth barring complications.  With DD#2, we would have made it home before my mom had DD#1 in bed if we hadn't detoured to give her more time.  (I was NOT showing up at home with a newborn minutes before she was supposed to be in bed.)
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