Adoption
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Anyone adopt with friends
A friend and her DH are also considering adoption and she has asked if we would like to do the process together. Her childhood church has experience with multiple families adopting and then traveling to the country together to get their children.
Just wondering if anyone has any experience with this and what the positives and negatives might be.
Thanks!
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Re: Anyone adopt with friends
We went through TTC, infertility, and the adoption process with our very close friends. We both did domestic infant adoption, though, and did it through different avenues. They did a private/independent adoption through an attorney and personal networking while we used an agency. Even though we weren't doing exactly the same thing, it was really awesome to be in it together. We did our home studies at the same time, wrote reference letters for each other, helped each other prepare for home visits, and supported each other through everything. Although we became parents differently, our babies were born within a month of each other. We have now been able to experience parenthood and a whole new set of "firsts" together!
It has been absolutely amazing to go through this process with another couple. I believe that this is exactly why we were put in each others' lives three year ago. It's so nice to have someone to talk to about your hopes and fears and know that they actually get it.
I'm not sure how it would have been if we were using the same adoption path, though. If they had been using our agency, I think it might have felt like a competition. We probably wouldn't have helped each other build our profiles, and I'm sure it would have felt like a race to get matched first. Before you go into the same program with a friend, you should think about how you would feel if they got a referral way before you. Or if you got one way before them. Or if you travel together and one baby is way healthier than the other, or one family bonds a lot faster. If you have the kind of relationship that it would be okay, then go for it. Just be aware of the situations that could come up and how it might play out for your friendship. Good luck!
Our friends are adopting right now...so it's after we adopted but I love being a part of the process with them. I think it's good to have someone to talk to who understands and someone who can be really supportive of the good/bad days.
Best of luck!
We did domestic infant adoption, but had friends going through the exact same thing on the same time line. They were matched and brought their baby home first and that was a little hard, but also fun to watch them go through it and rely on her to keep me sane during the wait for T to be born!