An anniversary of sorts
After having a m/c last year, it took months for AF to come back. It finally came again at the end of Aug, so Sept was the first month we were TTC again.
Looking back after a year, I can't believe how much has changed for me. DH got a job in NYC and we moved. I left a full time job and started freelancing when I got here. And TTC became my full-time second job. ; )
Joking aside, I do feel like I became obsessed. I was sure I'd get KU again quickly (it only took 3 months the 1st time). I thought if I started seeing an RE everything would just fall into place. I wish I could go back and tell my 2010 self to chill out and stop worrying. To save her emotional energy, because it's going to be a long ride. And to cut her DH some slack. Also, I'd tell her to PLEASE not miss out on fun things and sit home worrying. I did way too much of that.
Anyway, I thought I'd share for anyone in the same place as me, and for those of you just getting started. I'm not a veteran of IF by any means. And I've had a much easier path than many of you.
Also, thanks for the year of support. It's meant everything to me. Here's to the year to come and all of the wonderful things (including babies) it will bring us!
Where were you in this process a year ago? Anything you would tell your 2010 self?
Re: An anniversary of sorts
This will be a depressing response but I would NEVER want to tell my 2010 self what was going to happen in 2011... I also don't want my 2012 self to tell me about the rest of this year because I would never get out of bed then.
TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
DE IVF #3 1/14 ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d
DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!
K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days
SAIF/PAIF Welcome
http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com
I wish I could say "Happy Anniversary" but there really isn't anything happy about this kind of milestone. My wish for you is that this is the ONLY anniversary you have.
As for what I would tell my 2010 self: That is a hard question! I WANT to tell her that it is GOING to happen..don't give up. But by this time last year I was already TTC for a year with nothing to show for it.
I WANT to tell her to have faith. I WANT to tell her that it WILL happen when the time is right. It's hard to believe all of that now that it has been TWO years but that is what I would LIKE to tell her.
Sorry if this is depressing. I guess I was thinking of how naive I was a year ago, and how I wish I had more knowledge then about IF and how long the process can take. I was clueless and it caused me a lot anxiety every month. I feel like I'm in a much better place, emotionally, now.
And I wouldn't tell my younger self it was going to take forever, I would just try to tell her to be patient.
OK, this is making less and less sense as I write it! Time traveling IF advice session over. : )
TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
DE IVF #3 1/14 ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d
DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!
K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days
SAIF/PAIF Welcome
http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com
A year ago I was considering starting to chart my cycles because I wasn't KU yet, but I was also distracted by planning our wedding, so I couldn't get too worried about T-TTC yet.
I wouldn't want my 2011 self to go anywhere near my 2010 self. Ignorance was bliss!
Sorry for the unhappy anniversary.
Me: 36, DH: 42
Dx: DOR and MFI
DH: low count + very low motility; hormones all normal; Sperm DNA Frag. test = poor to fair; male karyotyping normal
Me: FSH 13.4 + AMH 0.26 + hypothyroidism; Scratch the hypothyrodism (?); Blood clotting and immune panel all negative; endometrial biopsy normal
IVF #1 (MDLF - Jul/Aug 2011): BFN (9R, 5M, 3F with ICSI, 3dt of 1 10-cell grade 2, no frosties)
IVF #2 (EP-antagonist - Sep/Oct 2011): BFN (6R, 4M, 3F w/ ICSI, 3dt of 1 6-cell, 1 7-cell, grade 4s, no frosties)
DE IVF #1 (shared cycle - June 2012): c/p (6R, 6F w/ICSI, 3dt 1 8-cell grade A- and 1 7-cell grade A-; no frosties)
DE IVF #2 (shared cycle with new donor - Nov/Dec/ 2012): - BFP!!!!! 12/14/12. U/S on 12/27 shows twins!!!!!
SAIFW/PAIFW
It could be worse. My RE took my wine.
Please pass me the wine bottle, if there's any left!
Yeah, mine did too. I took it back after the negative!
TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
DE IVF #3 1/14 ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d
DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!
K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days
SAIF/PAIF Welcome
http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com
Last year at this time, I finally made an appt with an RE. I would tell my 2010 self to get tested for PCOS immediately because it took over a year to diagnose using a blood test as I don't have any physical signs (besides really long cycles and delayed ovulation). I would also tell myself to go to an acupuncturist specializing in IF vs. wasting time with a general practitioner.
This year has flown by - I guess that's what happens when you start living cycle to cycle.
Last Sept i got off b/c thinking here we go, i am ready for # 2 and was so excited, and have to hurry up since i was 38, now a year later at 39, i can't believe i am here, i took for granted that i had DD with no issues and thought somehow all i need was to want to have another , i was in for a shock, i would tell my 2010 self to enjoy every minute of DD and not worry so much about TTC for #2, this is what i am currently telling myself, and taking this month off of trying.
easier said then done, but i am trying.
I did the same thing when I was KU! I ran out and bought a bunch of maternity clothes thinking "If I wait until I'm showing all the cute summer stuff will be gone." I was such an idiot. Returning the piles of clothes after my m/c was almost as hard as having the d&c.
I also started pre-natal yoga when I was only 6 wks. I tell you, I was seriously naive.
I would tell myself to force my previous RE to test my AMH levels so that I had that information going into IUIs; then I would tell myself to ONLY do 3 IUIs, not 6, before moving to IVF. Then I would also tell myself to have been working with the other RE in town from the start. And, I would tell myself not to stop running regularly just because of IUIs...it's thanks to that, in part, that I'm now calorie-counting (as of just a week ago) to try to lose 25-30 lbs.
Blecch!! It wasn't a great year, that's for sure....
Fingers crossed for all of us that the next one is far, far better.