God Parents — The Bump
October 2011 Moms

God Parents

If you are going to have godparents for your LO...

How did you decide on them?

How did you ask (or how do you plan on asking)?


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Re: God Parents

  • Basically in DH's family all the nieces and nephews have a combination of their aunts and uncles as godparents, so we basically just followed that trend. Hopefully this makes sense, but no one couple (i.e., DH's sister and her husband) are both godparents for the same child -- it's always one person from one couple and one person from another couple. 

    So for us, since I don't have any siblings and my cousin and I are really close (we grew up like sisters since our families live so close), she is going to be the godmother. Then it was easy to decide on the the godfather, because DH has one brother, so he'll be the godfather. I imagine if we're blessed with a 2nd child that we'll kind of "break the rules" and ask DH's sister and her husband to be the godparents. I don't *think* we're going to have a 3rd child, so I feel kind of bad leaving out DH's SIL, but oh well ...

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  • imagewishful thinkin:

    Well, lol... My sister automatically assumed she is the God Mother and DHs grandmother told DHs brother that he is the God Father since he was the best man at our wedding. Soooo that being said there is no need to ask.

    I was going to pick my sister but was hesitating on picking my BIL because he is an absolute mess and a loser and I don't think he will fit the God Father standards (and that's being nice)

     

    Your DH's grandmother decided on the godfather for your child? Sounds like someone has major boundary issues. (The grandmother, I mean, not you).

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  • We've struggled with this decision but have decided to ask my BIL and his fiancee.  I originally wanted to ask my sister, but she's not overly religious and we wanted her to be the legal guardian anyway, so "my side" of the family got the legal guardian, and "DH's side" will get the godparents.  We'll see if they say yes! We haven't seen them in a while but are hoping to ask soon.

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  • We believe God Parents are in charge of the spiritual growth and development of our children and is someone to help guide them in their religious journey. So depending on whether that is what you are looking for, here is how we got ours.

    We are Lutheran and wanted Lutheran GPs. I asked my best friend, who is Lutheran but her DH is not. I was at her house and just asked her to be the God Mother. DH asked his best friend who is unmarried to be his and I believe he did it over the phone, as the friend lives in another state. Both will be here for the baptism.

    If you are talking about legal guardians, I asked my sister and her husband b/c I know financially they will be the best equipt to raise additional children. :) I asked my sister the weekend she was here for my baby shower.

  • imagesomebodysmama21:

    Just out of curiosity what is your goal for your God parents? It is more for the religious baptismal thing? If so we do not believe in infant baptism and thus dont need to have the religious ceremonial god parents.  Or are you talking about who you will be naming as legal gaurdians if something were to happen to you? If that is case we have not decided and truthfully havent even sat down with a lawyer to start the process.  It is very hard for us to decided becuase in general most of our family would not raise our child the way we would like.  And there are a handful of people whose parenting styles are similar to ours but we are not close enough to them to decide they would be the guardians

    For me, God parents =/= legal guardian.  It is more of a spiritual guidance and someone to love and support LO throughout her life. 

    We do not do infant baptism at our church, but we do have dedication ceremonies for which I would want the GPs to be present. 

    I think we will have my sister be legal guardian (we need to discuss this more). 

     


    Married 08/18/07
    BFP 02/15/11 EDD 10/27/11 Born at 35w3d on 09/25/11 
    BFP 10/13/12 EDD 06/25/13 Born at 37w0d on 06/04/13

    BFP 12/11/15 EDD 08/23/16 Early miscarriage

    BFP 02/02/16 EDD 10/16/16

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  • imagewishful thinkin:
    imageSoon2BMrsSikes:
    imagewishful thinkin:

    Well, lol... My sister automatically assumed she is the God Mother and DHs grandmother told DHs brother that he is the God Father since he was the best man at our wedding. Soooo that being said there is no need to ask.

    I was going to pick my sister but was hesitating on picking my BIL because he is an absolute mess and a loser and I don't think he will fit the God Father standards (and that's being nice)

     

    Your DH's grandmother decided on the godfather for your child? Sounds like someone has major boundary issues. (The grandmother, I mean, not you).

    Yes I know! This has been an issue from day 1 one with this lady! She adores my BIL and doesn't see any wrong that he does or has done. She always falls into his "Poor Me" sob stories. DH only has one brother and did the right thing by making him the best man (It's not about the money but we paid for his tux, his plane ticker to come to NY and a friend planned DHs Bachelor Party..he did nothing as a Best Man other than show up at church..he didn't even give us an envelope..we got a text that said I.O.U!)

    Now for a God Father we were going to pick my brother or DHs Best Friend only because we wanted someone that is stable and is capable of being a good role model to LO. But how do you tell someone "No, you are no fit to be a God Father without starting family drama or a war"

     

     

    Be careful. Its so difficult to avoid family drama! But you want to do what's best for your child. I picked Godparents based on who would most love and spoil our child. My best friend is godmother, and she will be legal guardian if something were to happen to me and DH. She is outside the family, so we are not choosing MY family or HIS family to raise our child if something should happen. Godfather is a college buddy of my hubs and he is the most loving, generous man. He never comes over without a present for this unborn baby and he is already planning on spending as much time as he can with us after the baby is born (he lives about an hour away). We went outside the family to avoid all the drama of picking sisters and brothers and in laws, and we picked people who could put their own egos aside and do what's best for our child.

    Heidi
  • We are Catholic and at least one of our Godparents had to also be catholic.  My DH's family is Lutheran.  However he only has 1 sister and I don't have any and she doesn't have a daughter of her own so we asked her.  Then we asked my DH's bestfriend to be the Godfather (he is Catholic) and they grew up together literally from elementary school.  As far as legal guardian goes that is different.  We haven't talked about it or made it "official" but my DH's sister is the only family member/person who would want to and could afford to raise our children as well as her own 3.  For this baby I think we are going to choose my bestfriend and her husband who is also my husbands good friend and they are both Catholic.
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