moms with 2u2 already - starting to freak: what's it REALLY like?

spout3

Starting to freak out since my due date is right around the corner.  My girls will be 16mo apart.

 when did you start to get in a routine?  i'm constantly on the go with #1 and like to get out every day .... when were you able to finally get out with both?

i plan on nursing again - how hard is it to nurse #2 while #1 is running free

nap - i remember it taking at least 5-10 mins putting my first down for her nap - what to do with the older child when putting down the younger one? 

how needed did #1 become when #2 was born?

ANY advice/suggestion/daily schedules/ anything would greatly be appreciated!! 

ShannonSky

I would love to hear the answers to this! DD1 will be just about 2 when this baby arrives. I'm really hoping the baby's low-key and I really plan to take advance of the newborn sleepy phase and the nice weather to get DD1 out of the house as much as possible. I figure getting her out of the house keeps the house clean and tires her out more, anyway. 

I'd also love to know how everyone went about getting both kids on the same nap schedule (once baby is on a nap routine, that is). 

Kougl Wife to Be!

I hope this gets some good response as DH and I are debating TTC again in a few months...our LO is 4.5 months now

jgoo

Mine are 16.5 months apart. 

I don't think DD really was on a good routine until about 4 months. Now that's not saying things were horrible until then, just that her schedule was a bit less predictable.

To be honest, I still struggle with getting out with both of them on my own. Partly because they are both large children & we have stairs, lol.

The sleep & nap thing is going to be tricky. I usually tried to get DC1 down first, to allow me whatever time I needed to get DC2 down.

In the beginning, DS was a bit more whiny wanting attention. But DH & I just made special dates with him & made sure things were as balanced as possible. It's much easier now that DD is getting older & can hang by herself in her jumper or bouncer while I play with DS.

Take a breath. It will all work out!

ctbride08

spout3:

 

For reference, my girls are 12 months apart. 

When did you start to get in a routine?  I'm not very routine or schedule driven so its hard to answer this, but overall i found a "groove" very early - i'd day a few weeks.

i'm constantly on the go with #1 and like to get out every day .... when were you able to finally get out with both? Pretty much right away! I would go craaaazy in the house all day and didnt want life as we knew it to come to a complete halt.  Babywearing (specifically the moby) was a LIFE SAVER.  I would throw the baby in there and have no issues keeping up with my toddler and older child.  Plus it was a safe and germ-reduced environment to take her out of the house while she was still itty bitty.   I joke that my youngest hit the ground running  

i plan on nursing again - how hard is it to nurse #2 while #1 is running free n/a

nap - i remember it taking at least 5-10 mins putting my first down for her nap - what to do with the older child when putting down the younger one? At 21 months, she's now old enough to play independenly for 5-10 minutes, or sit quietly in the room reading books while I put her sister down.  Before that, the baby napped in the swing (which we kept in the main play room), while being worn, or during car rides.  Overall, we just kept things flexible and went with whatever worked that day. 

how needed did #1 become when #2 was born?  not at all.  if anything, she embraced her "big girl" status and became less needy.  she was a little more sensitive and tantrum-y for a couple weeks, but after that she pretty much forgot that there was ever a time that her sister didnt exist.

ANY advice/suggestion/daily schedules/ anything would greatly be appreciated!! My best advice is to be flexible! Dont kill yourself sticking to a schedule.  I've really enjoyed my 2U2 and havent found it difficult at all (well, not any more difficult than I'd imagine adding a 3rd child would be) and I mostly credit that to being very 'go with the flow' and not being afraid to continue with life as it was.

kcisthebombdotcom

when did you start to get in a routine?  i'm constantly on the go with #1 and like to get out every day .... when were you able to finally get out with both?

By the time #2 was 2 months old, I was comfortable leaving the house with both of them daily.

i plan on nursing again - how hard is it to nurse #2 while #1 is running free

I only nursed for a short time because my milk never came in, but it was manageable. I had baby proofed extensively before DD came so I didnt always need to keep an eye on DS.

nap - i remember it taking at least 5-10 mins putting my first down for her nap - what to do with the older child when putting down the younger one?

I threw on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse in the beginning. LOL. I also practiced putting DD down for naps alone from birth. When I noticed she was tired (but still awake), I'd lie her down in her bassinet. If she fussed, I'd rub her back, sing, etc but I wouldnt pick her up. If she did start crying, I'd pick her up and rock her/comfort her but when she stopped, she went back in her bassinet. By the time she was a few weeks old, she was able to be put in her bassinet and fall asleep alone.  

how needed did #1 become when #2 was born?

He was completely unphased. He had no idea what was going on.

ANY advice/suggestion/daily schedules/ anything would greatly be appreciated!! 

Prep for everything ahead of time. By probability, both kids will awake at the same second and both be hungry, so if you have your oldest's food cut up and ready, you're not scrambling. I also had diaper changing stations in every room we spent time in. In the chair I fed the baby in, I kept sippy cups/snacks/books/toys right next to it so when the baby was eating and my oldest wanted something, I didnt have to get up and hunt for it.

GL!

juliane2004

Starting to freak out since my due date is right around the corner.  My girls will be 16mo apart.

My kids are 14 months apart, so feel free to take my advice or not

when did you start to get in a routine?  i'm constantly on the go with #1 and like to get out every day .... when were you able to finally get out with both?

A routine didn't really develop until DS was in predictable napping times, at around 6 months. Not that he naps at the exact same time every day (neither does DD), sometimes it's 10 am and 1 pm, sometimes it's 11:30 am and 2:30 pm, etc. But he dropped a few naps and consistently takes 2 naps now (DD takes 1 nap).

I went out with both on my own as soon as possible, within 3-4 weeks? I can't remember exactly but I hate staying inside, so we went on a lot of mall trips.  It's not that hard, it just takes like 5 times longer than if you were going out alone.

i plan on nursing again - how hard is it to nurse #2 while #1 is running free

I didn't nurse, so I can't say anything about it. But my personal choice was to introduce cartoons to DD while I bottle-fed DS.

nap - i remember it taking at least 5-10 mins putting my first down for her nap - what to do with the older child when putting down the younger one? 

Personally, it takes me about 1-2 minutes to put each of my kids down (just enough time for a diaper change, really). I have details in my siggy, but we put them down awake after a certain amount of time and they fell asleep on their own. We started with DD when she was 3 months but we started with DS the day we took him home from the hospital.

We made sure our living room was completely baby proofed (gates, nothing DD could get at), and that way I could leave her down in the living room knowing she was safe for 2 minutes while I put DS upstairs.

how needed did #1 become when #2 was born?

DD was great. There was really no "jealousy" issues, I think it was because she was only 14 months and didn't really know what DS was. She sort of looked at him and pointed to him, but mostly she just left him completely alone. She never held him though, she refused to do that. Now, DS is bigger than DD and I still don't have that "big kid holding little baby" pic. Sad.

ANY advice/suggestion/daily schedules/ anything would greatly be appreciated!! 

Again, I highly recommend reading my sleep links in my siggy! Swaddling & watching the clock were two keys for great sleep habits for us. I can't say it will work 100% with your kids, but it worked great for us. 

ETA: My goal, every single day, is to get at least one of DS's naps to be at the same time as DD. Sometimes this means DD naps about 30 minutes later than usual, or it means I purposely wake up DS 30 minutes sooner than he might on his own.

Mrs.Christie

My two are 19 months apart and I have to say it hasn't been bad at all. I think that my easy experience has to do with the fact that DS is a very easy going baby. DD was colicky and had reflux (never napped), so this baby is a piece of cake compared to her.
I'm no super mom by any means, but we were pretty much back to our routine by 1 week. My H works very long hours so I was already used to doing everything on my own with DD and DS just fit right in. Having a good double stroller (or a few as in my case) and a good carrier (I have the becco butterfly II) have been the key to getting out and about.

mrsseguin

Mine are 25 months apart...but I'll still chime in!  Things were hard in the beginning because their schedules are so different.  DS naps once a day and the baby takes 3.  Being up all night for feedings was hard too.  It got easier when the baby was STTN. 

There are good days and bad days, but overall it is good!  Going from 1-2 has been a pretty big adjustment for DH and I.  We have definitely noticed a change in our relationship...we are kinda still in survival mode.  We probably won't have anymore kids.

bulldog_mama23

Mine are 17 months apart.  We settled into a new routine fairly quickly.  When DS was 3 weeks old, he already started coming with DD and I to library time, gym class, etc.  DS seemed to adapt really easily to whatever we were doing. DS went down fairly easily to nap in the beginning but we went through some rough patches when he was about 4-5 months old.  I usually would just turn on the TV for DD, give her some snack/drink, and toys while I put him down.  She learned pretty quickly to be quiet if she came in the room while DS was trying to go to sleep but there were many times he would just fall asleep and she would wake him up! 

DD didn't have any jealousy or needy issues when DS arrived.  I would just stick with your schedule and routine for your older one and the little one will adapt.  Of course,  you may not make it out everyday in the beginning.  Now, our time out is really limited since DS naps from 9-11am and again from 2-4 and DD naps from 1-4.  But we still do library storytime, Little Gym, and playdates on the days when I am not working.

You will find what works for you!  

sept04brideinMD

Honestly, it's a small circus at the beginning...but it kinda is with just 1 too   Make sure you talk to dh about what you need, and don't expect him to read your mind (your signals will be all off!) Take help that is offered.  Whether its someone who wants to just hold the baby - that gives you time to snuggle & read a book with #1, take a shower or do some laundry.  Keep wipes and diapers everywhere!  And keep your camera handy!

It does get easier   DS & DD are 17mo apart...and we're not planned that way.  We freaked out, bought 2 double strollers, a mini van and a bunch of other "stuff" we didn't need.  I wouldn't change it for the world.  I am so glad it worked out this way...at 1 & 2.5 they have so much fun rolling around on the floor, laughing at each other and just being silly.

 Good luck!

Megan.10.06

My boys are 21 months apart.  It really didn't take that long to be able to function.  About week 3, when I was feeling good, I could leave the house with no problem.  We have some jealousy, but mainly it's just crawling all over me while I'm nursing. 

Nursing hasn't been a problem, except for when he thinks it's mommy is a jungle gym time.  We have plenty of toys in the living room, a train table instead of a coffee table, and a few DVDs on standby.  In public, I keep him in the stroller or lock us in a nursing room and let him play.  We almost always have trains with us to play with, or his Thomas Magnadoodle. 

Owen will feed to sleep or pass out in his swing, so napping isn't a problem.  It's a bigger problem fighting the older one to sleep!  Honestly I try to start naptime in the car so I can just plop him on the couch  

 It's easier with #2 than with #1 - I remember being terrified to let the baby cry, but you kinda get over that this time around.  I get to him as soon as I can, but if he has to cry for 2 minutes so I can finish the toddler, he won't be hurt by it.  I learned to worry less - I thought if Cole wasn't dead solis on a routine he'd be screwed up forever, I don't have those kind of thoughts anymore LOL! 

Monsieur_et_Madame_Ha

when did you start to get in a routine?  i'm constantly on the go with #1 and like to get out every day .... when were you able to finally get out with both?

Pretty much right away. It takes a little more planning (work around feedings and nap time) but it's doable. I actually expect it to get harder as DD2 gets older and I worry I won't be able to get them both on the same nap schedule.

i plan on nursing again - how hard is it to nurse #2 while #1 is running free

I am lucky and BFing is 100 times easier with DD2 - she usually is done under 15 minutes. I usually choose that time to bring out one of DD1's favourite toys. That and since she's so big on "helping", I ask her to help me feed her sister: she will sit on the couch/bed with me and pat her sister's head or give her kisses.

nap - i remember it taking at least 5-10 mins putting my first down for her nap - what to do with the older child when putting down the younger one?

i am so not there yet. DD2 still falls asleep whenever, wherever, so I just go with the flow. 

how needed did #1 become when #2 was born?

So far, it's not bad. DD1 loves her baby. lol. She does ask to be picked up more, especially when we're holding her sister, but I will consider myself extremely lucky if it doesn't get any worse than that

ANY advice/suggestion/daily schedules/ anything would greatly be appreciated!! 

I'm only 6 weeks in, but what's really helped me so far is restocking the diaper bag every day. Also, I love the "hands-free" option that is the baby carrier

efortune

#2 had colic, so we started going out alone around 1 month. She loved to be worn, and that was the only way she would be quiet.

It took me 2 weeks to get a routine. I NEEDED family there with me those first couple weeks. Keep in mind, the baby never really had a "routine" but I just got used to it all.

I had to 100% baby proof the house to nurse, because the toddler just started walking and was into everything. After that, it was super easy. My second always fell asleep on me when she nursed, so that is how i got her down for naps.

I cant help with the last question because mine were 11 months apart.

BUT it is amazing. And you see a side of your older child that you never saw before... a loving, caring, immaturely mature side. And its just...well...amazing.

efortune

ctbride08:

spout3:

 

For reference, my girls are 12 months apart. 

When did you start to get in a routine?  I'm not very routine or schedule driven so its hard to answer this, but overall i found a "groove" very early - i'd day a few weeks.

i'm constantly on the go with #1 and like to get out every day .... when were you able to finally get out with both? Pretty much right away! I would go craaaazy in the house all day and didnt want life as we knew it to come to a complete halt.  Babywearing (specifically the moby) was a LIFE SAVER.  I would throw the baby in there and have no issues keeping up with my toddler and older child.  Plus it was a safe and germ-reduced environment to take her out of the house while she was still itty bitty.   I joke that my youngest hit the ground running  

i plan on nursing again - how hard is it to nurse #2 while #1 is running free n/a

nap - i remember it taking at least 5-10 mins putting my first down for her nap - what to do with the older child when putting down the younger one? At 21 months, she's now old enough to play independenly for 5-10 minutes, or sit quietly in the room reading books while I put her sister down.  Before that, the baby napped in the swing (which we kept in the main play room), while being worn, or during car rides.  Overall, we just kept things flexible and went with whatever worked that day. 

how needed did #1 become when #2 was born?  not at all.  if anything, she embraced her "big girl" status and became less needy.  she was a little more sensitive and tantrum-y for a couple weeks, but after that she pretty much forgot that there was ever a time that her sister didnt exist.

ANY advice/suggestion/daily schedules/ anything would greatly be appreciated!! My best advice is to be flexible! Dont kill yourself sticking to a schedule.  I've really enjoyed my 2U2 and havent found it difficult at all (well, not any more difficult than I'd imagine adding a 3rd child would be) and I mostly credit that to being very 'go with the flow' and not being afraid to continue with life as it was.

THIS. Do NOT stress a routine. Our routine STILL changes daily. But you'll get your flow pretty fast and figure out a range of norms. 2u2 was pretty easy. I'm more nervous about having a 2 1/2 year difference between my oldest and my youngest than the 1 1/2 year gap between DD2 and DC3.