have no clue what i am doing

janderson90

hello all, due October 3rd, as the days get closer, i find my self stressing out more, crying more, i have no clue what to do when baby James comes. going to try breast feeding, any pointers? had a nervous break down in walmart just trying to buy dipares, had no clue which ones or what size to get. i guess i am looking for some pointers, some advice. my mother passed away couple of years ago. and my mother in law enjoys being at the bar, so i feel just me and my husband are going into this blindsided. thanks

Accounting Chick

Hang in there.  You're going to be just fine.  Take a deep breath, think about some of the people that you know that really shouldn't have been allowed to reproduce and tell yourself "if they can do it, I sure as hell can!".  Use your common sense, don't be pulled into hysteria, and you will already be leaps and bounds past some moms!

An excellent blog that I have enjoyed reading has been Lucie's List https://www.lucieslist.com/  She has a registry list, but I've just used it as a list of basics that I need. 

For diapers, I've been told to buy one pack of newborn and one pack of size ones (not large packs - you don't know how big your babe is going to be).  As to the brand, different moms are going to have different preferences.  Just don't spend a fortune on a diaper brand that you haven't tried and liked. 

For breastfeeding, the best advice I've been given is get support.  There are many community support organizations out there.  Here we have LeLeche (sp?) League as well as health unit nurses that will help  me out.  Moms don't have to be your sole sources of support.  I'm sorry that you don't have your mom here - I know it would be easier if she was, but there are still a lot of resources that you can access. 

AWomanInLove

I got the book Baby Bargains, by Denise and Alan Fields, which was a life saver when buying things, because it helps narrow the options.  I got the book Happiest Baby on the Block, which helped me calm down since it gives you options to try when your baby is fussy.  Our hospital has classes listed online for breastfeeding.  Maybe your hospital has something similar? Hope this helps!

Janimal

Ok - deep breaths.  People who are dumber and with less resources than you manage to take care of infants, so you really will be fine.

A little knowledge might help give you some confidence.  So let's focus on that.

As far as stuff you need, if you have a place for the baby to sleep, a method to feed them, and some diapers, you have what you need.  The nurses at the hospital can demonstrate how to change diapers to you and your DH as many times as you need them to.  They will also send you home with newborn sized diapers.  Use those until the baby grows, and when you need to, you'll know to buy the next size up, which is a size 1.  They'll send you home with wipes and pacis and other supplies too.  So don't get freaked out about shopping just yet.  If you really want a shopping list - I can PM you a specific list if you think it will help you not freak out.

You can't really learn how to breastfeed until you actually have a baby to do it with!  Ask for a lactation specialist while you are in the hospital, and they can spend time with you and your baby and show you how to hold your LO, how to get them to latch onto you, and talk to you about it.  Reading a bit about it ahead of time would be helpful, but don't stress too much about that.  Listen  to the LC and make sure you have a phone number to call if you have questions after you get home.

Have some bottles at home.  It doesn't matter what brand you get, so don't stress over the selection.  Just pick a starter kit box and you have them if you need them.

As far as books about caring for babies, there are So many of them.  I recommend Baby 411.  It has very clear and succinct advice to cover the care of a baby. 

I swear you will be fine.  That you even have access to a Walmart puts you ahead of most moms in the world!  So even if you don't have something, you have access, and that's cool.

You will be ok.  That you are worried about this means you are already thinking like a mommy.  You are freaked out because you care.  And caring is the most important part of taking care of your child.

jpeazybreezy

You were made for this! You are so much better equipped for this than you know. It is EXTREMELY overwhelming when you stand in those baby aisles at the store, and see the wide variety of things that they offer. What you have to understand is, it is not as complicated as they make it out to be. Honestly, infants are sometimes easier to care for because they do so little, are so forgiving, and most importantly, wont remember! Lol.

You will be great, and just like any other first time mother, you will be terrified, shocked, and amazed all at once at what your body and your baby are capable of. You will find that your baby really just needs you and DH, and all the other details are trivial. Take all of the advice your nurses have to offer, but also understand that you know how to take care of your baby better than any one else, so listen to yourself and your baby as well. If something doens't feel right, don't do it. If something seems worth you while, try it out. Your baby is so strong, and so are you. Together you guys will learn all about each other, what each other needs, and how to grow into the cohesive little family that you've been waiting for.

Just relax and listen and you will be fine!

FabulousMrs.P

Also, is there a baby care basics course that you can take at a local hospital? I know that they offer one at ours and it just goes over the basics of taking care of the baby. It might help to give you some more confidence going into everything. They also show you some great pointers to help make life easier. If you can't find anything, then baby grab the DVD "Laugh and Learn about Child care". It's something you can watch right at home so you know how to bathe the baby, etc.

My SIL told me that the nurses at the hospital are great and will show you how to breastfeed and take care of the baby...so really...don't worry about it! She also told me  only get 1 small pack of newborn diapers and one small pack of size 1 diapers. She said depending on your babies size, the size 1 might fit better. Also, she said they go through the newborn sizes really quickly!

And just so you know, it's totally normal to be nervous about taking care of the baby. This is my first and I am nervous, too. It's a big life change! The fact that you are nervous about it just means that you are going to be a great mommy...it shows that you care about your baby and you want to do right by him or her.  You'll find what works for you and your baby!

ImAnRN

Been there! With my 1st I ran out of babies r us over bottles and breast pumps! I left my poor DH stunned and dumbfounded, but I DID learn. I mean, I'm not expert but you will be fine, I promise. My son's pediatrician changed that 1st awful poop diaper in the hospital because i told him i didn't know what i was doing. He showed me and i never asked again. Unfortunately, BFing did not work for us as I got extremely sick after delivery and was placed on meds that were contraindicated. My very first night using formula and it exploded all over DH, DS and me at 3am. I remember it vividly as we started cracking up laughing. I've made TONS of mistakes but you live and learn. Your feelings are totally normal and I'd be concerned if you didn't feel this way:-)