NPR is keepin' it real. Thoughts? — The Bump
May 2011 Moms

NPR is keepin' it real. Thoughts?

I just saw this article posted on NPR's website under The Baby Project (of which there are many awesome articles, check it out).

I like the honesty here.

"Parents: Let's make a deal. Let's be honest with each other, or at least one friend, that there are times when the whole enterprise feels like a bad idea. Let's be less alone with this and maybe even laugh about it, putting aside for just a few minutes the earnest need always to say, omigod it's so great."

 

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Re: NPR is keepin' it real. Thoughts?

  • I don't have time to click but I am firmly in the camp of everything is not always great and I never say that it is.  Nor do I gush about how this is OMG the most amazing time of my life.  Cuz I still had times that were better than being sleep deprieved and still being forced into functioning (read summer I was 22, best time of my life ever stil).  I kind of want to puke when people go on and on about how everything is soooooooooo perfect all the time.  Cuz that to me is a very rare reality, child or no child.

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  • LOL 38 views and not a single person besides PFF has anything to say?

     

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  • Yes

    I love my kids.  But they're still a pain in the a$s.  

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  • most of the time with my family and friends i feel like i have to say that everything is good just to avoid the whole you need to feed that baby cereal already or welcome to being a parernt speech with tons of advice letting him cio for more than 5 minutes. im sorry im not ready for that either. theres only 2 people i can tell the truth to my sister who doesnt have kids yet and my friend who has an 8 month old 
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  • image iris427:

    Yes

    I love my kids.  But they're still a pain in the a$s.  

    Agreed.

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  • I'm on my phone and can't quote, but Iris, thumbs up to you. :)  I just returned to work this week and have realized my new waking hour has to be 4:30am.  YES I said 4:30.  Feed baby, do workout video, take baby for a jog, shower, breakfast, out the door and to work at 8.  Yeah, I'l say it, this sucks.  Work it, I guess??? ;) lol.  But not under my 'most favorite schedule ever'. 
  • image calm_angel_2003:
    most of the time with my family and friends i feel like i have to say that everything is good just to avoid the whole you need to feed that baby cereal already or welcome to being a parernt speech with tons of advice letting him cio for more than 5 minutes. im sorry im not ready for that either. theres only 2 people i can tell the truth to my sister who doesnt have kids yet and my friend who has an 8 month old 

     Ha - this!  There are certain family members where I've learned to say everything is peachy - feeding, sleeping, playing, otherwise I get so much 'advice' I want to punch the person in the face.

    I'd like to think I've been more honest than most about the strains and challenges of baby.  Anyone who says everything is perfect is a liar - but only other parents know that.  

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  • image andigurl:
    I'm on my phone and can't quote, but Iris, thumbs up to you. :)  I just returned to work this week and have realized my new waking hour has to be 4:30am.  YES I said 4:30.  Feed baby, do workout video, take baby for a jog, shower, breakfast, out the door and to work at 8.  Yeah, I'l say it, this sucks.  Work it, I guess??? ;) lol.  But not under my 'most favorite schedule ever'. 

     

    Does it make you feel any better that this is also my new wake-up time and I'm not even able to make time for a workout in the morning?

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  • image CanuckFan03:

    image calm_angel_2003:
    most of the time with my family and friends i feel like i have to say that everything is good just to avoid the whole you need to feed that baby cereal already or welcome to being a parernt speech with tons of advice letting him cio for more than 5 minutes. im sorry im not ready for that either. theres only 2 people i can tell the truth to my sister who doesnt have kids yet and my friend who has an 8 month old 

     Ha - this!  There are certain family members where I've learned to say everything is peachy - feeding, sleeping, playing, otherwise I get so much 'advice' I want to punch the person in the face.

    I'd like to think I've been more honest than most about the strains and challenges of baby.  Anyone who says everything is perfect is a liar - but only other parents know that.  

    How true!!!  I'm hardly ever honest with anyone except DH.  I get tired of hearing how "if you keep wearing/carrying her, she'll never walk" or "just give her formula/rice cereal and she'll STTN."  Why do people always ask how my DD is sleeping?  Why do they care if I get up 3 times a night?  If I'm okay with it, what does it matter?

    Sorry, this kind of stuff pulls my crazy plug...

    I agree with the NPR thing.  It's not easy, and I sort of don't think it should be.  Not that I think every day should feel like going to war either.  Do I sound conflicted?  ;)

    Me - 40, DH 34 Married 11 years, TTC since 7/09 3 rounds of Clomid > Vivienne born 5/28/11
    TTC#2 since 01/13 - 3 rounds of Clomid, 2 IUI w/injectibles, moving to IVF
    IVF #1 - Lupron 20 6/19, Follistim 225 6/21, Menopur 75 6/27, Trigger 6/30
    ER 7/2 (8R, 7M, 5F); ET 7/5 - 2 8 cell, grade 1 and 1 7 cell, grade 1 Stick babies, stick!
    BFP on HPT at 11dp3dt
    Beta #1 13dp3dt 787
    Beta #2 17dp3dt 6,007
    1st u/s 5w2d showing one "good" sac and 2-3 questionable
    2nd u/s 6w2d showing one baby with HR 128bpm
    3rd u/s 7w1d - HR 159bpm - graduated from RE!
    MaternT21 test results: no chromosomal issues, it's a BOY!!!
    EDD March 25, 2014

    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Parenting Advice"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/ttfc354.aspx" alt=" Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker" border="0"  /></a>

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  • Everyone wants to talk about the sleep issue, but no one talks about the strain it puts on your marriage.  It's been rough for us, especially since we didn't really have any time to be 2 before we became 3.  DS is a honeymoon baby after a short engagement.  I feel like the world's worst mom when I think "I wish we could have waited a little longer."
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  • image lizardknitter:
    image CanuckFan03:

    image calm_angel_2003:
    most of the time with my family and friends i feel like i have to say that everything is good just to avoid the whole you need to feed that baby cereal already or welcome to being a parernt speech with tons of advice letting him cio for more than 5 minutes. im sorry im not ready for that either. theres only 2 people i can tell the truth to my sister who doesnt have kids yet and my friend who has an 8 month old 

     Ha - this!  There are certain family members where I've learned to say everything is peachy - feeding, sleeping, playing, otherwise I get so much 'advice' I want to punch the person in the face.

    I'd like to think I've been more honest than most about the strains and challenges of baby.  Anyone who says everything is perfect is a liar - but only other parents know that.  

    How true!!!  I'm hardly ever honest with anyone except DH.  I get tired of hearing how "if you keep wearing/carrying her, she'll never walk" or "just give her formula/rice cereal and she'll STTN."  Why do people always ask how my DD is sleeping?  Why do they care if I get up 3 times a night?  If I'm okay with it, what does it matter?

    Sorry, this kind of stuff pulls my crazy plug...

    I agree with the NPR thing.  It's not easy, and I sort of don't think it should be.  Not that I think every day should feel like going to war either.  Do I sound conflicted?  ;)

    This! so annoying!  I just started telling people yes!  She sleeps a 7 hour stretch which means she wakes up at 3 am to eat and goes back to sleep.  That is not a medical problem that needs a soultion.  I do not need to supplement her feeds or do anything else to trick her body into STTN.  She will do it when her body is ready to go that stretch.

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  • image sangarepa:
    Everyone wants to talk about the sleep issue, but no one talks about the strain it puts on your marriage.  It's been rough for us, especially since we didn't really have any time to be 2 before we became 3.  DS is a honeymoon baby after a short engagement.  I feel like the world's worst mom when I think "I wish we could have waited a little longer."

    I completely agree. I thought our marriage took a big hit when we had DS....but it's taken an even bigger hit now with #2.   We are going up north this weekend by ourselves and I believe it's precisely what we both need.  A recharge in our marriage and some time to focus on just us.

    Hang in there....

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  • I admit I tend to just not talk about it. Not on here, even, because anything resembling a complaint just gets thrown back at me later.

    Really, my expectations were pretty low for how this was going to go, so things are better than I thought they would be. I never really thought I'd be a baby person, but LO melts my heart at some point every day. He also makes  me wish he came with an off button every day.

  • image Lisa Frank:

    image sangarepa:
    Everyone wants to talk about the sleep issue, but no one talks about the strain it puts on your marriage.  It's been rough for us, especially since we didn't really have any time to be 2 before we became 3.  DS is a honeymoon baby after a short engagement.  I feel like the world's worst mom when I think "I wish we could have waited a little longer."

    I completely agree. I thought our marriage took a big hit when we had DS....but it's taken an even bigger hit now with #2.   We are going up north this weekend by ourselves and I believe it's precisely what we both need.  A recharge in our marriage and some time to focus on just us.

    Hang in there....

    Us too!  I was naive to think that since we'd been married 9 years, that having a baby would only enrich our marriage.  Haha.  It put a real strain on things for a while.  Honestly, it was just a few weeks ago that we sat down to talk about what we both needed and set up a way to get it.  It's a daily struggle for both of us, and especially hard when you feel like you're trying so hard already. 

    Me - 40, DH 34 Married 11 years, TTC since 7/09 3 rounds of Clomid > Vivienne born 5/28/11
    TTC#2 since 01/13 - 3 rounds of Clomid, 2 IUI w/injectibles, moving to IVF
    IVF #1 - Lupron 20 6/19, Follistim 225 6/21, Menopur 75 6/27, Trigger 6/30
    ER 7/2 (8R, 7M, 5F); ET 7/5 - 2 8 cell, grade 1 and 1 7 cell, grade 1 Stick babies, stick!
    BFP on HPT at 11dp3dt
    Beta #1 13dp3dt 787
    Beta #2 17dp3dt 6,007
    1st u/s 5w2d showing one "good" sac and 2-3 questionable
    2nd u/s 6w2d showing one baby with HR 128bpm
    3rd u/s 7w1d - HR 159bpm - graduated from RE!
    MaternT21 test results: no chromosomal issues, it's a BOY!!!
    EDD March 25, 2014

    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Parenting Advice"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/ttfc354.aspx" alt=" Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker" border="0"  /></a>

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  • Honestly, I think the main reason I try to never complain to anyone, is because it usually turns into them trying to give me advice.

     Then that just makes me feel worse, because I feel stupid and it's usually advice that I've already heard 1000 times.

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  • image NothingLikeBarbie:

    Honestly, I think the main reason I try to never complain to anyone, is because it usually turns into them trying to give me advice.

     Then that just makes me feel worse, because I feel stupid and it's usually advice that I've already heard 1000 times.

    oh my god. my issues with isla and the bottle. YES people i have tried everything reasonable/everything that is suggested. unless you have an out of the box, random crazy idea to try, YES we have tried it.

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  • image pinkflipflops44:
    image NothingLikeBarbie:

    Honestly, I think the main reason I try to never complain to anyone, is because it usually turns into them trying to give me advice.

     Then that just makes me feel worse, because I feel stupid and it's usually advice that I've already heard 1000 times.

    oh my god. my issues with isla and the bottle. YES people i have tried everything reasonable/everything that is suggested. unless you have an out of the box, random crazy idea to try, YES we have tried it.



    Exactly!! They will give you advice and act like they are amazing for thinking it up. Reality check...we've heard it already!
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  • I've always been a realist and find humor in life. It's always been my style to point out things that are difficult. I feel like if I always say everything is great and hunky dorey like I am bragging or something.

    Anyway, I have tried to be honest with people when they ask me about the baby. I do tell people how hard it is and it's like a lot of people simply don't want to hear it, which makes me feel like I can't relate to anyone and like I'm some sort of monster for even thinking these things. I have even tried to talk to my mom and she'll say, "Hannah is a good little girl!" Like almost defending her. I love DD with all of my heart (see, a constant need to say that before going into something negative), but there are days when she wouldn't nap that I thought I might actually lose my mind.

  • image calm_angel_2003:
    most of the time with my family and friends i feel like i have to say that everything is good just to avoid the whole you need to feed that baby cereal already or welcome to being a parernt speech with tons of advice letting him cio for more than 5 minutes. im sorry im not ready for that either. theres only 2 people i can tell the truth to my sister who doesnt have kids yet and my friend who has an 8 month old 

    This! Sometimes I think people think you're not doing your job as a parent if you're not always having some grand time. It's like that article token posted about STTN - if you tell someone they aren't, you're doing something 'wrong'...

    So, I sometimes fib to those that ask to avoid the questions and constant advice. I love him, no matter what but sometimes he is a pain in the a$$ like Iris said :)

     

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  • I'm a pretty blunt and honest person and I'll tell anyone that asks that while DD is a long-held dream come true and a pretty darn good baby, that it's hard and exhausting and sometimes boring.  I guess I'm really lucky because almost nobody tries to force advice down my throat.  I don't know why that is, but I'm grateful!
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