party this weekend?

sunshine1234

hi...

we have a 3 year old and  a 3 month old....We were going to have a barbeque this weekend. i wanted to have it for 3 hours and then go out to dinner. DH said no it is rude to invite people over and then say we have dinner plans and that they have to leave. it is family coming over...

he said they might want to stay 5-6 hrs. am insane? who the hell wants to have a barbeque that long? there will be 11 children there ranging from age 3 months to 10...i think that is insane that i need to entertain for that long...

susanmosley

hold the phone

lots of questions

aren't you eating at your bbq?

i don't understand bbq for 3 hours and then go to a restaurant - huh?

yes it is rude to invite people over then kick them out so you can get to your next engagement, wouldn't you think?

where do his parents live in relation to you - what is the travel time?

Set more casual standards and expectations for this event and ENJOY time with family.  Do you like them  (his family)?  I love my ILs but they stress me out and bug the hell out of me - but it is possible to find a happy medium for everyone, I think.

laney75

I am confused too.  You're having a bbq and then going out to dinner?  Are you saying it's a midday barbecue, as in you'll be serving something closer to lunch?  What time are people invited to come over?  If it's after 2, I would say you're going to have a hard time getting to a restaurant.  Even if it's before 2, that sounds like a lot of work (although fun) to do the whole bbq and then kick everybody out, clean up, and then pack up the kids and get to the restaurant, so why are you going out?  No comprende. 

Stacyc625

yes its rude to invite people over and then expect to go out by a certain time.-

it doesn't surprise me though- because I do not think i have 'comprended' ANY of your posts.

Rebekah1021

yep - really rude. You sound like a peach.

When we have family over, which is all the time, it's always for at least 5-6 hours.

Just relax and eat dinner at your own BBQ.

How do you entertain? Do you put on a show? Don't the kids play with each other and you sit and chit chat with adults? 

 

I think this is the most bizarre post I have read in a very long time. 

abba916

Rebekah1021:

yep - really rude. You sound like a peach.

When we have family over, which is all the time, it's always for at least 5-6 hours.

Just relax and eat dinner at your own BBQ.

How do you entertain? Do you put on a show? Don't the kids play with each other and you sit and chit chat with adults? 

 

I think this is the most bizarre post I have read in a very long time. 

I agree with this...strange and yes, so rude to have a time line when you invite people over (sadly, this happened to us just last weekend at my BILs bbq) 

EnglishMajor03

We'd stay at a BBQ for 5 or 6 hours.  But I'm a nut who thinks it's crazy to put end times on birthday parties (as in 12-2).  It's just how we were raised.  I start my birthday parties at 3 and they go until 9 or 10 or whenever people want to leave.

ktsnshn

Yep, this is rude. I never have an end time to my parties. When you are invited to my home for an event, the event lasts until the last guest says goodbye. I would never think to go out to dinner after a BBQ at my own home because I would be too full from all our delicious cooking.

lana22

maybe it would stress you out less if you didn't think of yourself as the sole entertainer. people are coming for food and company, they don't expect that you're going to put on a show for them. just relax and enjoy time w/ friends and family imo.

i obv echo everyone else's responses, can't even imagine being invited to a bbq where there was a 3 hour time limit. we're having one this sunday and telling people to show up anytime after 2, and there will def be people who don't even arrive until 4 or 5.