I'm so torn. I toyed around with the idea of home birth early in my pregnancy, but in the end decided to go to a CNM and use a hosptial associated birth center. I was in both the birth center and the main hospital during DS's birth. The birth center is a nicer facility, but it's really just a hospital. There's even a surgical suite in it if you need a c-section.
The reasons I chose not to pursue home birth were
1) I delivered DS at 36w4d according to my ovulation date. I'm worried that I may deliver prior to 37 weeks again
2) I had borderline high blood pressure and severe swelling during my pregnancy with DS. They actually transferred me out of the birth center because of this because I was considered "high risk" even though my lab work did not indicate pre-e.
Mainly, I'm afraid of risking out of home birth at the very end. I don't handle change very well, so I wanted to go into this knowing that I was preparing for a hospital birth. I'm also so afraid of the "what ifs." After reading Ina May's book and some of the stories about the pyschological part of labor, I'm afraid that my fear could actually stall my labor.
Last night, I stayed up waaaaay too late watching that live birth posted below. It was AMAZING. Everyone was calm and patient. The husband was able to be in bed with his wife and massage her during contractions and support her when she pushed. When I think about those horribly uncomfortable and tiny hospital beds in a room full of medical equipment, it makes me so sad to think about delivering there. Also, I eventually caved and got an epi with DS after a whole host of other interventions. It would be nice to be somewhere where an epi wasn't even an option. Thinking about recovery is also very depressing. I just think about how wonderful it would be to already be home instead of trapped in the hospital for 24-48 hours after birth. I hated being bugged constantly throughout the day and night. I couldn't wait to escape out of there.
Besides home birth, there's also a very new birth center (open less than 2 years) in town run by a CPM. It is literally across the street from the hospital, which might help my "what if" fears. While the birth center is new, I know that the CPM has been practicing for over 20 years. However, I've read her blog, and I don't know that I would click very well with her.
Ugh, I'm just so torn on what to do. Has anyone else struggled with this decision? What finally made up your mind?