Why did I even bother playing by the rules? Hosting vent.

Ds Mama

I'm throwing sil's shower next month with two other hostesses. I'm in charge of invitations and games. Right before I mailed the invites I got a message from another hostess. She had talked with sil and they wanted to make sure guests knew it wasn't a bring a book party (the theme is based off of a book), they've already started the baby's library and really need the necessities. A couple days later sil texted to ask what registries I was putting on the invite. I replied that I wasn't. She said oh, are you putting it on a separate card then? I then explained that no, anyone that needed to know would have my phone number could call me and ask. (I put it on the invite). Anyways, the vent. I just saw on fb where mil asked sil on her fb wall where she was registered because fil's parents had asked. BOTH of these women have my number, even before they got the invitation. Why did I bother doing this the right way? Invites went out a week ago, I haven't gotten a single RSVP, but I see this on fb.

Middlesnpoddles

I hate when people don't RSVP or call the host.. I feel your pain.  The same thing happened with my sister's shower.

srs5624

Unless the shower is one of the next two weekends I wouldn't stress too much about the lack of RSVPs. It has only been a week after all. If you still don't hear back by the RSVP date, then you can be annoyed since you'll have to call everyone to chase down an RSVP.

I've had my brother's ass-baggery invitation package for a month and I haven't RSVP'd yet. I'll make it in before the RSVP date.

With the registry thing.... meh. I don't think it's a big deal if someone asks the mom-to-be if/where she's registered, especially her own mother.

Ds Mama

srs5624:

Unless the shower is one of the next two weekends I wouldn't stress too much about the lack of RSVPs. It has only been a week after all. If you still don't hear back by the RSVP date, then you can be annoyed since you'll have to call everyone to chase down an RSVP.

I've had my brother's ass-baggery invitation package for a month and I haven't RSVP'd yet. I'll make it in before the RSVP date.

With the registry thing.... meh. I don't think it's a big deal if someone asks the mom-to-be if/where she's registered, especially her own mother.

Her mil too, dh and BIL's stepmom. I think my real issue is who it was and not what happened. If it had been her mom or best friend this post probably wouldn't have happened. Ass-baggery has just made it's way into my vocabulary.

lulling

I would not worry about it.  Personally, I would have probably emailed the mother to be and asked where she was registered.  I feel very uncomfortable calling the hostess of a party if I do not know them.  Also, sometimes it is 10 or 11 at night by the time I get to do things that I need to do.  I would not call someone at that time. I would send an email so they could deal with it in the morning.  Usually, if I just waited until the morning to call I would forget by then.

As for the RSVP issue.  That drives me nuts but I have tried to learn to deal with it.  When I get an invitation I RSVP that day.  I do that because I have been a hostess so many times and know how annoying it is not to get the RSVPs back.  Just grin and bear it... 

BrendaLou1969

I'm confused as to why you didn't put the registry on the invitations?  I thought that since a baby shower is a gift giving event, it was appropriate.

rhubarb123

I think it is pretty standard to include the registry info on the invite these days because every one that I have gotten in the last 8 years has had that info.  I think maybe because it is hard to actually "talk" to the hostess.  Yes, your number might have been on the invite but guests might think it is easier to just email you.  They are probably thinking the would end up playing phone tag trying to find out where someone is registered.  I prefer to go the email route.  I always RSVP right away (a lot of people wait until last minute) but I think it is funny when I actually do reach the hostess and when I let her know why I'm calling she acts surprised.  LOL

[Deleted User]

IMO, a baby or bridal shower is the only time it's okay to put registry information on the invitation.  For a baby shower, I think it's necessary.  Personally, I think buying off the registry for a baby shower is inconsiderate, and I know many of my friends would not have thought to ask about a registry if it wasn't on the invitation.  But that's just me.

srs5624

Ds Mama:

srs5624:

Unless the shower is one of the next two weekends I wouldn't stress too much about the lack of RSVPs. It has only been a week after all. If you still don't hear back by the RSVP date, then you can be annoyed since you'll have to call everyone to chase down an RSVP.

I've had my brother's ass-baggery invitation package for a month and I haven't RSVP'd yet. I'll make it in before the RSVP date.

With the registry thing.... meh. I don't think it's a big deal if someone asks the mom-to-be if/where she's registered, especially her own mother.

Her mil too, dh and BIL's stepmom. I think my real issue is who it was and not what happened. If it had been her mom or best friend this post probably wouldn't have happened. Ass-baggery has just made it's way into my vocabulary.

The important thing is that you did create this post. Internet strangers are a fantastic sounding board when you need to vent the frustrations before you make an ass out of yourself IRL.

Oh, and add "douchecanoe" into your vocabulary as well. It's a wonderful descriptor for many, many people.

jcole32444

overture:

IMO, a baby or bridal shower is the only time it's okay to put registry information on the invitation.  For a baby shower, I think it's necessary.  Personally, I think buying off the registry for a baby shower is inconsiderate, and I know many of my friends would not have thought to ask about a registry if it wasn't on the invitation.  But that's just me.

THIS!

reason00

BrendaLou1969:

I'm confused as to why you didn't put the registry on the invitations?  I thought that since a baby shower is a gift giving event, it was appropriate.

Etiquette says it's appropriate because it is a gift-giving event. My friend that is helping host my shower with my mom specifically put it on there because for her shower, they didn't. She ended up with 3 high chairs. LOL.

Natalie3398

I totally understand, I hate hate hate when people don't rsvp. I also hate when people get the invite and start discussing it w/ everyone else except the person you are suppose to...UGHHHHH i feel you pain!!

JRiley82

I haven't thrown/been to any baby showers (first of my group to have a baby) but I've thrown several bridal showers in the past two years.  I've always put the registry info on them or enclosed the registry cards if the bridal gave them to me.  I never talked to many people who were RSVPing because of not being near my phone/not at home/guest emailed response.  If I had waited until then to say where honoree was registered, most guests would have never known.