Attachment Parenting

I need to vent...

Hello! I'm new here. Sorry to start out with a vent but UGHHHHHH.  What is up with thinking it's acceptable to put your baby in an infant car seat all day? That's for riding in the car, that's why it's called a CAR SEAT. But no, you can just keep the kid in it and snap it into the stroller! When you get home, just snap it into the frame that turns it into a swing! With modern technology, you don't need to fuss with actually holding your baby. How nice! I think I'm done now. I'm going to go back to my baby registry now...haha
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Re: I need to vent...

  • I see your point and I'm also sort of grossed out at the reliance on human substitutes for child rearing, especially when it comes at the expense of skin to skin contact, breast feeding success, various forms of communication between caregivers and baby, etc.

    But, in general, we modern humans are lacking resources that were more available in the past - family nearby, larger families/extended family, more intimate relationships with our communities, the ability to raise a family on one income. So what to do without that type of support system? 

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  • Huh?Why wake a sleeping baby? If they're content, and comfortable leave them be. I doubt it's all day. They do need to be fed and changed.

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  • I'm not talking about letting a baby finish their nap from the car. I'm talking about the parents that literally leave their kid in the car seat all day. I've seen it...a lot. It seems like these products encourage it.
    I figured the attachment parenting board would understand my vent. Maybe not. I guess you all aren't as AP as I hoped.
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  • Well I'm as  AP as I want to be.  Have you talked the people who have offended you about keeping their baby in the car seat all day?  Maybe they need some education from you.
                                                 Mom to 4 wonderful daughters
                                 Breanna, Ellie and 
                                 our 2 rainbow babies.

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  • imageGHBEA:
    Well I'm as  AP as I want to be.  Have you talked the people who have offended you about keeping their baby in the car seat all day?  Maybe they need some education from you.

    This is the perfect solution. Definitely do this. 

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  • It is hard to see when you know of the alternatives, but many people don't.

     Most of us are in the "you do what works best for your family" category, and try to keep the judgement to a minimum. 

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  • imageCravingQueen:
    I figured the attachment parenting board would understand my vent. Maybe not. I guess you all aren't as AP as I hoped.

    There are many extremely AP ppl on this board, but this kind of stuff is posted ad nauseum & tends to a.) get really old and b.) draws a lot of comments from Nesties/Bumpies that like to start sh!t over here.

    Most of us "regulars" enjoy a good debate but like to keep the board drama free.  

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  • imageghm:

    imageGHBEA:
    Well I'm as  AP as I want to be.  Have you talked the people who have offended you about keeping their baby in the car seat all day?  Maybe they need some education from you.

    This is the perfect solution. Definitely do this. 

    Sarcasm, cute!

    Actually, I have! A lot of people don't know the harmful effects of leaving a child in their car seat all day. For example, https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-421220/Leaving-baby-asleep-car-seat-cut-breathing.html

    I make slings for my friends and I'm always discouraging the "travel system."

    I said it was a vent in my original post, I'm not saying people that do this are bad parents. I'm saying it bothers me. 

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  • imagemr+ms:

    I see your point and I'm also sort of grossed out at the reliance on human substitutes for child rearing, especially when it comes at the expense of skin to skin contact, breast feeding success, various forms of communication between caregivers and baby, etc.

    But, in general, we modern humans are lacking resources that were more available in the past - family nearby, larger families/extended family, more intimate relationships with our communities, the ability to raise a family on one income. So what to do without that type of support system? 

     

    My husband is in the military (our sole source of income). I have zero family within 1,000 miles, few close friends that are able to help during the day, and more often than not I have to cope without "that type of support system." It's doable. It's hard, but it's doable. I would never use my lack of community support as an excuse to not properly care for my baby. 

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  • imagewebMistress0609:
    imageCravingQueen:
    I figured the attachment parenting board would understand my vent. Maybe not. I guess you all aren't as AP as I hoped.

    There are many extremely AP ppl on this board, but this kind of stuff is posted ad nauseum & tends to a.) get really old and b.) draws a lot of comments from Nesties/Bumpies that like to start sh!t over here.

    Most of us "regulars" enjoy a good debate but like to keep the board drama free.  

     

    I wasn't trying to create any drama. I was simply venting to (hopefully) like-minded people. I can see that it created some drama and I'm sorry for that. I wish this could have been a mature discussion, I'm trying to keep my responses friendly! :) 

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  • imageCravingQueen:
    I'm not talking about letting a baby finish their nap from the car. I'm talking about the parents that literally leave their kid in the car seat all day. I've seen it...a lot. It seems like these products encourage it.
    I figured the attachment parenting board would understand my vent. Maybe not. I guess you all aren't as AP as I hoped.

    Well then you're obviously very close with these people, have you asked them why they do it? Maybe you're misinterpreting it.

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  • imageshakes:
    imageCravingQueen:
    I'm not talking about letting a baby finish their nap from the car. I'm talking about the parents that literally leave their kid in the car seat all day. I've seen it...a lot. It seems like these products encourage it.
    I figured the attachment parenting board would understand my vent. Maybe not. I guess you all aren't as AP as I hoped.

    Well then you're obviously very close with these people, have you asked them why they do it? Maybe you're misinterpreting it.

    Are you really with these people ALL day? I have strollers, I have carriers and I have a Snap and Go for my carseat. Each carries a different purpose. I love to wear DS when we are going grocery shopping or someplace where we will be out of the car for a long time. But today I had to run in and out of 4 different stores so I just clicked him into the Snap and Go instead of battling him to get back in his carseat. If someone saw me, they might say, that poor baby has to spend all day in his carseat when in reality, we ran errands for an hour and I actually got something done for once.
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  • imageRunningGal900:
    imageshakes:
    imageCravingQueen:
    I'm not talking about letting a baby finish their nap from the car. I'm talking about the parents that literally leave their kid in the car seat all day. I've seen it...a lot. It seems like these products encourage it.
    I figured the attachment parenting board would understand my vent. Maybe not. I guess you all aren't as AP as I hoped.

    Well then you're obviously very close with these people, have you asked them why they do it? Maybe you're misinterpreting it.

    Are you really with these people ALL day? I have strollers, I have carriers and I have a Snap and Go for my carseat. Each carries a different purpose. I love to wear DS when we are going grocery shopping or someplace where we will be out of the car for a long time. But today I had to run in and out of 4 different stores so I just clicked him into the Snap and Go instead of battling him to get back in his carseat. If someone saw me, they might say, that poor baby has to spend all day in his carseat when in reality, we ran errands for an hour and I actually got something done for once.

    That's my point also.

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  • Don't let them fool you.  They are just putting on a "we don't judge" facade so the rest of the Bump doesn't parachute in and put them all in their place.  I'm willing to bet that most of them agree with you.  
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  • imageKestrel84:
    Don't let them fool you.  They are just putting on a "we don't judge" facade so the rest of the Bump doesn't parachute in and put them all in their place.  I'm willing to bet that most of them agree with you.  

    LOL. So true.  

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  • imageKestrel84:
    Don't let them fool you.  They are just putting on a "we don't judge" facade so the rest of the Bump doesn't parachute in and put them all in their place.  I'm willing to bet that most of them agree with you.  

    Will please direct me to the judgmental post that makes you believe this? 

    I'm sure if someone LITERALLY leaves their LO in a car seat all day they would be given a major side eye. However I'm willing to bet that doesn't happen very often, if ever.  

  • imageRunningGal900:
    imageshakes:
    imageCravingQueen:
    I'm not talking about letting a baby finish their nap from the car. I'm talking about the parents that literally leave their kid in the car seat all day. I've seen it...a lot. It seems like these products encourage it.
    I figured the attachment parenting board would understand my vent. Maybe not. I guess you all aren't as AP as I hoped.

    Well then you're obviously very close with these people, have you asked them why they do it? Maybe you're misinterpreting it.

    Are you really with these people ALL day? I have strollers, I have carriers and I have a Snap and Go for my carseat. Each carries a different purpose. I love to wear DS when we are going grocery shopping or someplace where we will be out of the car for a long time. But today I had to run in and out of 4 different stores so I just clicked him into the Snap and Go instead of battling him to get back in his carseat. If someone saw me, they might say, that poor baby has to spend all day in his carseat when in reality, we ran errands for an hour and I actually got something done for once.

     

    Some of them, I was with most of the day. A lot of people don't think anything of it, they think they are doing what is "normal." I'm not talking about running in the grocery store, I'm talking about leaving them in the seat ALL THE TIME. It happens. I guess my point was I wish people were more educated about AP and the dangers of not practicing it much or at all. And, that products and advertisers are not helping!

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  • imageKestrel84:
    Don't let them fool you.  They are just putting on a "we don't judge" facade so the rest of the Bump doesn't parachute in and put them all in their place.  I'm willing to bet that most of them agree with you.  

     You're my favorite.

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  • I have seen people who do leave their LO's in their car seats for a majority of the day, however I believe that they are in the minority.  I feel that these things have their purpose.  They are especially nice for those who don't have a lot of room, or travel frequently.

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  • Wow. I know plenty of parents who don't practice AP, but their children aren't suffering. They are just doing things differently than you. With as much criticism as I get for my parenting choices i'm most certainly not going to do the same to others. I know how annoying it can be after all. I'm not trying to teach my dd that our choices are better than what other people chose to do. It's just not how I live my life or what I want her to live her's doing either. I think you are being a little judgemental and really missing a big point of AP which is doing what works best for you and your family.

     

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  • imageCravingQueen:

    Some of them, I was with most of the day. A lot of people don't think anything of it, they think they are doing what is "normal." I'm not talking about running in the grocery store, I'm talking about leaving them in the seat ALL THE TIME. It happens. I guess my point was I wish people were more educated about AP and the dangers of not practicing it much or at all. And, that products and advertisers are not helping!


    All day.  That sounds pretty extreme. It sounds like more than "Well the baby fell asleep in the car, so I'm going to let him finish his nap in the car seat inside."

    How old is the LO?  Does (s)he sit there contentedly observing things or upset and crying?  How do you react? I'm guessing that this is a friend with whom you're close.  Have you ever inquired about what's going on?  Does the parent seem unphased by her unhappy child?  That kind of ignoring could be a sign that something else is going on.

    If a friend of mine did something that drastic I might ask a couple questions to make sure that she's not suffering from PPD.  I'd also ask if she'd mind if I picked up her crying child.  I don't think I'd ignore my friend's upset child.  Actually, it would probably drive me bananas to even hear a continuously crying child--I just can't tolerate the noise.

    Can you share a little more info about what you've observed?

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  • imageeliselucas:

    Wow. I know plenty of parents who don't practice AP, but their children aren't suffering. They are just doing things differently than you. With as much criticism as I get for my parenting choices i'm most certainly not going to do the same to others. I know how annoying it can be after all. I'm not trying to teach my dd that our choices are better than what other people chose to do. It's just not how I live my life or what I want her to live her's doing either. I think you are being a little judgemental and really missing a big point of AP which is doing what works best for you and your family.

     



    I'm not judging anyone except advertisers and the media. Try to read my posts comprehensively, not defensively.
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  • imageC-Charm:
    imageCravingQueen:

    Some of them, I was with most of the day. A lot of people don't think anything of it, they think they are doing what is "normal." I'm not talking about running in the grocery store, I'm talking about leaving them in the seat ALL THE TIME. It happens. I guess my point was I wish people were more educated about AP and the dangers of not practicing it much or at all. And, that products and advertisers are not helping!


    All day.  That sounds pretty extreme. It sounds like more than "Well the baby fell asleep in the car, so I'm going to let him finish his nap in the car seat inside."

    How old is the LO?  Does (s)he sit there contentedly observing things or upset and crying?  How do you react? I'm guessing that this is a friend with whom you're close.  Have you ever inquired about what's going on?  Does the parent seem unphased by her unhappy child?  That kind of ignoring could be a sign that something else is going on.

    If a friend of mine did something that drastic I might ask a couple questions to make sure that she's not suffering from PPD.  I'd also ask if she'd mind if I picked up her crying child.  I don't think I'd ignore my friend's upset child.  Actually, it would probably drive me bananas to even hear a continuously crying child--I just can't tolerate the noise.

    Can you share a little more info about what you've observed?



    No, because I don't have the time or energy to sit here any type out a long story. If a child is in danger or my friend presented signs of PPD, I'd react appropriately. Don't turn this into something it's not.
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  • imageCravingQueen:
    imageC-Charm:
    imageCravingQueen:

    Some of them, I was with most of the day. A lot of people don't think anything of it, they think they are doing what is "normal." I'm not talking about running in the grocery store, I'm talking about leaving them in the seat ALL THE TIME. It happens. I guess my point was I wish people were more educated about AP and the dangers of not practicing it much or at all. And, that products and advertisers are not helping!


    All day.  That sounds pretty extreme. It sounds like more than "Well the baby fell asleep in the car, so I'm going to let him finish his nap in the car seat inside."

    How old is the LO?  Does (s)he sit there contentedly observing things or upset and crying?  How do you react? I'm guessing that this is a friend with whom you're close.  Have you ever inquired about what's going on?  Does the parent seem unphased by her unhappy child?  That kind of ignoring could be a sign that something else is going on.

    If a friend of mine did something that drastic I might ask a couple questions to make sure that she's not suffering from PPD.  I'd also ask if she'd mind if I picked up her crying child.  I don't think I'd ignore my friend's upset child.  Actually, it would probably drive me bananas to even hear a continuously crying child--I just can't tolerate the noise.

    Can you share a little more info about what you've observed?



    No, because I don't have the time or energy to sit here any type out a long story. If a child is in danger or my friend presented signs of PPD, I'd react appropriately. Don't turn this into something it's not.

    Okaaaayyy.  I was actually trying NOT to make assumptions.  I'd asked some questions to get a little more information so that I COULD understand you better.  You don't have enough the time to type additional details....but just enough time to respond several times within this thread as people chime in that they think you might be off base with some of YOUR assumptions about your friends' motivations behind their behaviors.

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  • imageC-Charm:
    imageCravingQueen:
    imageC-Charm:
    imageCravingQueen:

    Some of them, I was with most of the day. A lot of people don't think anything of it, they think they are doing what is "normal." I'm not talking about running in the grocery store, I'm talking about leaving them in the seat ALL THE TIME. It happens. I guess my point was I wish people were more educated about AP and the dangers of not practicing it much or at all. And, that products and advertisers are not helping!


    All day.  That sounds pretty extreme. It sounds like more than "Well the baby fell asleep in the car, so I'm going to let him finish his nap in the car seat inside."

    How old is the LO?  Does (s)he sit there contentedly observing things or upset and crying?  How do you react? I'm guessing that this is a friend with whom you're close.  Have you ever inquired about what's going on?  Does the parent seem unphased by her unhappy child?  That kind of ignoring could be a sign that something else is going on.

    If a friend of mine did something that drastic I might ask a couple questions to make sure that she's not suffering from PPD.  I'd also ask if she'd mind if I picked up her crying child.  I don't think I'd ignore my friend's upset child.  Actually, it would probably drive me bananas to even hear a continuously crying child--I just can't tolerate the noise.

    Can you share a little more info about what you've observed?



    No, because I don't have the time or energy to sit here any type out a long story. If a child is in danger or my friend presented signs of PPD, I'd react appropriately. Don't turn this into something it's not.

    Okaaaayyy.  I was actually trying NOT to make assumptions.  I'd asked some questions to get a little more information so that I COULD understand you better.  You don't have enough the time to type additional details....but just enough time to respond several times within this thread as people chime in that they think you might be off base with some of YOUR assumptions about your friend's motivations behind their behaviors.



    I really wasn't trying to talk about any of my friends, I was trying to talk about companies that make these products.
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  • imageCravingQueen:


    I really wasn't trying to talk about any of my friends, I was trying to talk about companies that make these products.

    Companies are in business to make money.  I'm not terribly upset about companies that manufacture and market travel systems.  I think they are space hogs, but I don't think that they necessarily encourage parents to be detached from their children.

     Travel systems serve a purpose for many families, but can be misused.  I think they often come in handy for people with more than one child--especially the kind that have the little platform for an older kiddo to stand on.  I think that it can be very helpful to allow a sleeping newborn to get an extra few Z's in the carseat while the parent runs to the bathroom quickly or puts away groceries.

    I do get slightly annoyed with a lot of baby-related items.  People register for a lot of unnecessary, new things with a first child.  I never really spent a lot of time feeling super upset about with the carseat & stroller companies, though.

    The tobacco industry, on the other hand....

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