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4 months pregnant and about to be single...

turnemalturnemal member
in Single Parents

My fiance of almost a year now has finally told me that he doesn't ever want to marry me.  He has also informed me that the most important person in his life is himself.  Which is fine and dandy for any other self-centered person, besides the fact that I am now 4 months pregnant.  He recently got into this crazy workout routine and told me that he will not be cutting back when the baby is born because this is the most important thing to him right now.  He constantly degrades me and tries to make me look lazy for not working out..... well hello, the amount of cleaning and taking care of our two large dogs and working I do on a regular basis is enough to tire this pregnant woman out.  He was so excited when we first found out we were pregnant and I had no doubts he was going to be a great daddy.  But now, he gets annoyed when I talk about anything to do with the baby.  I live about 3hrs from my entire family and he's pretty much the only reason I stayed in this area.  Without him, I have to move which is going to be both expensive and very stressful.  This situation is so complicated and I'm at a loss for what to do.  I'm starting to think that I really can't handle this.  

 

I come from a family of happy couples.  Moms and dads happily raising their children.  My parents already know that I am expecting but I know they're not going to accept the fact that I am now single and expecting. 

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Re: 4 months pregnant and about to be single...

  • MamatoA2010MamatoA2010 member

    Welcome! I know you don't want to be here but this a great place for support and to vent. I am also a single mom to my 19 month old DD. I'm sorry you are going through this but I understand :( My STBXH of 7 years left me and has filed for divorce. We have been together 14 years! Its hard but I have so much support and that has made it easier. My friends and family have been wonderful. By the way I'm Julie. Nice to cyber meet you! Take care of yourself and that sweet baby!

    Julie

    DD 1-30-10

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  • JCGreene85JCGreene85 member

    You might be surpised. My Mom welcomed me back with open arms when I had to move back in. It was a tough decision, but it was what was best for my baby and I. Now my Mom gets upset every time I talk about moving out. 

    Dont be afraid to move out and dont stay with him because its comfortable. One of my EX's from HS was a meat head and it ruined us. He would eat sleep gym. That was his routine. It was horrible!

    Good Luck! There is a lot of great support and awesome advice here 

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  • Expecting0207Expecting0207
    My advice is to go spend a weekend back at home and reach out to your family.  Just because they are all happily married doesn't mean they won't accept you.  Also, it's going to be a total PITA to move now, but alot harder as you get further along or have a newborn in tow.  My parents have been married 40 years and divorce isn't common among my circles either.  Being single after almost 15 years wasn't easy at first either, but it was best for me and my kids.  You have to do what's best for you AND now your baby too. 
    J1 1.19.07
    J2 11.17.08
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  • Ariana2O11Ariana2O11 member

    Hi,

    I moved out and separated early in my pregnancy.  It's not easy, but you can do it. You need to be as selfish as he is and it's time to take care of yourself and the baby. It was very difficult for me to tell others, especially family, but I'm so glad I did. Family support has been invaluable. You can do it and you're not alone. 

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  • Annplus1Annplus1 member

    Your parents might surprise you. Mine sure did and are married forever, super catholic, etc. My STBX left when I was ten weeks, we found out two weeks after he left that I was pregnant. I was scared to go tell my folks about our marriage troubles, then about the pregnancy. My parents were awesome, and I am so sorry I waited so long to let them know.

    I am 4.5 months along now, and totally get how you are feeling. Its time to go through your wants and needs. You need a stable place you can afford on your own, with support nearby. You want your FI to snap out of it and go back to who you thought he was. Work on your needs now. Don't stress about the wants-they will work themselves out on their own, good or bad.

    Good luck. You can do this, and really, already are. It's the next steps that are the scariest, but once they are made, they are over.

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