Stay at Home Moms

Has anyone else dealt with oposition?

Before I became pregnant I was in the process of looking for a job. In my first trimester I was so sick looking for any kind of job was out of the question. I'm talking throwing up 3 times a day at the least. By the time my morning sickness went away it was obvious I was pregnant. My husband and I felt like it was useless to look for a job. It's rare to find someone who will hire a pregnant woman, and on top of that he had just gotten a new job with a raise. So while we could always use more money, we're really very comfortable and happy.

 

We've decided that although we have free daycare (my parents, sister) once our baby is born I'm just going to be a stay at home mom. Which both of us are extremely happy about. However people around us are not that happy about it. It's really odd actually. People always ask where I am working and when they find out I'm not they give me a "look". My husbands boss told him that he needs to be pushing me and elbowing me to get a job. I feel like people are constantly judging me for not having a job. People have even expressed that after the babies born I need to work.

Has anyone else had this problem? How do you deal with it? I'm never sure of what to say to people.  I'm doing my best not to get offended and to just let it roll of my shoulders. But it's getting really old.

tiana

Re: Has anyone else dealt with oposition?

  • If you think being judged now is getting old- you better get used to it more. Because it only gets worse after the baby is born.

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  • A few things:

    1. Plenty of companies hire pregnant women, so some people may feel that you took the "easy" way out and wonder what you're doing with all of your time.

    2. You may be misinterpreting the "look". I get that all the time.

    3. Why is your DH discussing your employment status with his boss?

    But it's really none of their business. Just smile and say you're happy with your decision, and change the subject.

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  • I haven't had that problem. All our family is thrilled that I can stay home with our boys.  I'm sorry you're going through that, but it's really nobody else's business but yours.  I like to think everybody is just jealous that they can't/couldn't do the same.  Makes me happy.  : )

    I'm looking for a part time job (couple days a week) just for some extra $$.  But I'll still be the one caring for the boys. I'm pregnant too and am curious to see how it all turns out, seeing as I'm due in a couple weeks.

    The way I would handle it, is just to respond to people with this "Well, it really doesn't matter if you like it or not. This is what works for us, so you'll just have to accept it, or move on." It's polite and straight to the point.

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  • I think in a situation like this, if you can afford to live the way you want with what you are doing now, who cares what they think?

    My mil judged me when I went back to work after ds was born.  She told me that if I wanted to be home, we'd find a way.  Well, until dh got the promotion that allowed me to begin staying home, the only "way" would have been us living without food, clothes, gas, etc.  Really, I didn't let it get to me though because she is very high and mighty and thinks differently about a lot of things we do.

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  • I have not, only because people who know me know that when my mind is made up they are wasting their breath.  And the strangers don't get 5 seconds of my time on the topic.  Actually, many "older" women think what I am doing is great (or that is what they say to my face.)

    But I agree, why does your DH's boss think he has a say in your employment status???  Seems really unprofessional.

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  • Most people envy my decision to stay home with LO.  DH and my ILs are not those people, however. 

    NOT that it's anyone's business, OR that I give a darn what they think, but I often explain that being a SAHM is more fulfilling then my career. 

    The last thing I want for my LO is to be half a mother (I would be)- coming home exhausted, trying to keep up with housework, sometimes toting along some work from the day.  Then putting LO to bed, only to rush the kid up in the morning to do it all over again.  I'm not saying that is how it goes for all WMs, but that's how it would go for us.

    Prior to getting pregnant or even getting married, I explained to my H that being a SAHM is something I was considering for my future.  He begrudgingly accepts it.

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