Need advice - new bedtime routine

Punk n Posh

DS has always slept really well in his crib and now big boy bed. Only problem is, we moved about a month ago. Transitioned great but his schedule is shot. He goes to bed whenever we do or later. He'll stay up til 12-1 am sometimes. He either falls asleep with us in the living room or if one of us lays in his bed with him, he'll fall asleep within half hour usually. DS #2 is on his way and DH wants to get DS #1 on a routine schedule where every night around 930 or so we put him in his bed, read some stories, say goodnight and leave him to fall asleep on his own. That thought makes me sad but I definitely know we'll be glad we did it once our next one is here.

At our old house he was in his crib and we would do this for nap times. He would fuss for 10 mins or so and by 15 was quiet and asleep. But for bed time, he would flip out - like a scared, panicked cry. And with moving, we never took the time to work on that cuz we figured we would have to do it all over again once we moved. Now my problem is, he's in a twin size bed with a bumper so he can get out of bed. I tried putting him down for a nap and he just climbs out of bed and plays.

So here's my questions....How do I get him to stay in his bed? What kind of bedtime routine do you suggest? How do I ease him into a bedtime routine? (DH wanted to do it cold turkey last night and I told him that wasn't fair - it almost made me cry!)

Wally3

This is what I would do - over the summer DS picked up some "bad" going to sleep habits that we are working on fixing. Pick a night when you have time to dedicate and won't be stressing - I usually do Friday or Saturday night.Once you start your plan do not go back to the old way for at least a month (not even for a specail treat.  If you do slip back into the old pattern wait a couple weeks before trying again.

I would tell DS what the new bedtime routine is around midday, then again at dinner time.  Then right before it starts, then as you are doing it.  "We are reading a book now, then you will go to your bed I will sing you a song, then I will turn off the light and give you a kiss goodnight and go to the living room"  or whatever you decide.

Then you and DH decide what you want to do, leave cold turkey and keep DS in room,  walk DS back repeatively to the room,  sleeplady shuffle - start sitting by the bed and move farther away each night, ferber checks.   Just pick what you want to do and stick with it.

I tired a few different things what worked best for us was I do ferber like checks on DS checking after 5, 10 , then 15 minutes -if needed.  I give him a little flashlight to hold.  When I go back in to check I will lay down with him and sing 1 song if he is awake.  It had been keeping him in bed and he is almost always a sleep 15 min after putting him down.

Also, if you are leaving him awake. Once you have done your routine and it is time to leave -  Leave quickly -I do a kiss, love you be back in 5 min to check on you -then leave no matter what he is saying or fussing about. 

GL