Half Birthday - yay or nay? — The Bump
Pre-School

Half Birthday - yay or nay?

Looking for thoughts as I don't want to seem like an attention hog for my kids. :)  I want to have a combined 1/2 birthday party at a local play place for my boys this year.  Their birthdays fell right after my father passed away earlier this year and their 1/2 birthdays will fall when my in-laws will be visiting for a month from Europe (they visit every year or every other year but will never visit on their birthdays due to what time of year they fall on).

I'm going to request no gifts.  Do you like either of these ideas:  

- suggest people make/bring a card with birthday wishes for the boys in lieu of gifts

- suggest people make a donation to a certain charity for children if they'd like to do something (iffy about this as I feel it implies they have to give something which I don't want them to feel obligated)

Re: Half Birthday - yay or nay?

  • So did you already have a real party for their real birthday?
  • So I wouldn't word the invitation as a birthday party at all. Just do it as a get-together. This way no one feels obligated to get a gift, you avoid the awkwardness of asking for a donation, and the kids will still all get together and have a great time. If anyone asks why you are having the party then you can tell them why. 
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  • imagestacinsean:
    So I wouldn't word the invitation as a birthday party at all. Just do it as a get-together. This way no one feels obligated to get a gift, you avoid the awkwardness of asking for a donation, and the kids will still all get together and have a great time. If anyone asks why you are having the party then you can tell them why. 

    This.  It's weird to me to have a half birthday party.  Did your IL's send them gifts/cards for their real b-days?  Who all is coming to this party?

    DS - June 2006 DD1 - November 2007 DD2 - August 2010
  • No, my in-laws didn't send them gifts for their birthdays, they're just not gift people. I'm thinking they will bring some books, etc. when the visit next month.

    My oldest's birthday was the day my Dad died and my youngest was two weeks later so we didn't really do much, just a small cake with DH and my mom and sister (and her husband, kids). 

    I will say honestly I'm doing it because it's probably the only birthday DH's parents will ever be able to attend. And I guess because I'm sad about my Dad passing too and it would be nice to plan something cheerful for the family and have the grandparents all together to help them celebrate.

    Outside of my in-laws and mom/sis we don't really have any other family so it will be friends and their kids. I was going to definitely say on the invite something along the lines of "come help us have a fun afternoon for our boys 1/2 birthdays, no gifts just spend some time with us."

     

  • Saying no gifts is a reLly bad way to go, this never turns out good, and in addition it is tacky to tell people how to spend their money. If you say no gifts some will still bring them and some won't those who don't will fell horrible. I still think the half birthday party is a really bad idea, but if you are set on it don't specify no gifts.
  • A party for any occasion is okay, IMO. I was just invited to a "Our DS is potty-trained" party yesterday.

    But, as far as gifts go, please just say "no gifts." Suggesting what people can give in lieu of traditional gifts is tacky for most occasions. I'm okay with donations to a charity for something like a wedding, but for mostly any other type of party, it rubs me the wrong way. The exception to this is if the charity is tied very closely to something in your lives. For example, a friend of mine with an autistic son always requests donations to an autism awareness society in lieu of gifts. That's okay, in my book, and she donates a lot of her own time and money to that organization as well.

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  • why would you have a party for your kids, b/c your ILs are visiting?  This makes no sense to me.

    If you want to do something fun w/ the kids, with friends, do it, but don't call it a birthday party. 

    I also wouldnt' want to do a craft in lieu of a gift.  Its a lot easier for me to run to Target and grab a $10-15 gift than it is to set aside time to do some craft that I may or may not have the supplies for anyway.

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  • imagestacinsean:
    So I wouldn't word the invitation as a birthday party at all. Just do it as a get-together. This way no one feels obligated to get a gift, you avoid the awkwardness of asking for a donation, and the kids will still all get together and have a great time. If anyone asks why you are having the party then you can tell them why. 
    ITA. I'd side eye an invite telling me how to best celebrate their child's half birthdays. I'd just have a fun day with your kids and friends.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    DD1, Kathleen 9/15/2007

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  • Sorry but I would never attend a half birthday party period.  I think it will come across as asking for gifts or attention (even if you write no gifts, most people will not follow that).  Regardless of the reason, I would not think it would go over very well.  If you want to plan a get together when the ILS are in town - great, have a party/get together and invite whoever you want but don't do a half-birthday party or do it with just family.
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
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