April 2011 Moms

Mommy Groups and the working mom.

So I have no IRL friends with babies.  Seriously I am so completely lonely.  I am working really hard at trying to find a mommy group to join but so far they all meet during the week.  I work.  and it really bothers me that some of these groups make no concession for working moms.  For just a moment yesterday it all made me feel really guilty and really bad about my choice to work.  Some days I think I would LOVE to be a SAHM but then I realize that my son will have really cool opportunities because of the job that I do. And that in reality I would probably lose my mind eventually.  SAHM's are certainly something to be admired.  I think I would be fine being with the baby all day, I am just not very motivated to do all the other stuff that comes with staying at home. Laundry, Cleaning etc.  I find it so much easier to do if I am not there all day to procrastinate. (Please don't flame me, it makes sense in my head)

I recieved an invitation to a mom's group yesterday and I probably read WAY to much into it but as a working mom I felt really alienated and was a little angry that there was this whole group of people that were judging my choices.  I even wondered if it was part of their "beliefs" that a mother should stay at home. If so I know that this is part of a group that I wouldn't want to belong to but still...  I need to find a way to make some friends that have the same type of lifestyle as I do. 

I wish I had the time/ energy to devote to developing a working mom's group but I am pretty much overwhelmed with work.  I think it just hurts my feelings. LOL 

 

Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


Re: Mommy Groups and the working mom.

  •  I can completely relate to you.  With my first daughter, I was lucky to spend 10 months at home with her.  It was great. I felt like I knew every inch, cry and laugh.  However, I actually enjoy working. I love getting up and going into an office.  I was sad when i went back to work, and somedays i still am sad, but i think overall its the best for my family.

     Financially, we were ok, but when i am working we are comfortable and we can actually do things.  I hate how all the toddler YMCA and City classes for dance, swim etc. are during the day. I know its the most convenient for those who don't have to work but sometimes I wish they could offer a night class here and there. And why are all the fitness classes with baby during the day? I wish i could get off of work and take little one with me to a fitness meet up. Oh well. I guess there are benefits for both working moms and SAHM.

    This week, actually, I was wishing I could just stay home with the littles and put on impromtu dances and clean my oven! I guess thats what makes the weekends that much more special!

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • imagecampbaby76:

      SAHM's are certainly something to be admired.  I think I would be fine being with the baby all day, I am just not very motivated to do all the other stuff that comes with staying at home. Laundry, Cleaning etc.  I find it so much easier to do if I am not there all day to procrastinate. (Please don't flame me, it makes sense in my head)

    I had to laugh at this because I am the same exact way.  The entire 12 weeks that I was home with my LO, I barely did all of the cleaning I could've done.  I would often lay in bed with my baby kissing & snuggling her & bumping on this board all day.

    No flaming from me, I totally get you!  All of the mommy groups in my area seem to do things during the week while I'm at work.  It is what it is....my income is needed in my household so I am doing what is best for my LO & so are you. (((hugs)))

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Loading the player...
  • I agree with you...I wish there was some sort of mommy group that wasn't during work.  But when I think about it-when it's not work time, I want to be home with my husband (and kids), you know?  So I don't know if I'd do a mommy group anyway.  Also...I think that you're probably reading too much into it.  I don't think they're judging you or your choices.  My guess is that they're looking to do something (because they have more "free" time with the kids-not trying to say more free time, but more time with kids that's unstructured, you know?) so they do things together.  I don't know.  Just some thoughts.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • I totally agree with you all, I am reading WAY to much into. I know it wasn't sent with ill intent at all.  I  think I am just feeling a little sorry for myself. LOL!! I live in the BOONIES and it is tough to find stuff to do.  I also work where I live so if I do not have a reason to leave I almost never do.  and that I think is what wears on me.  Tonight we are going to a minor league baseball came and tomorrow planning to go to the fair and rodeo so at least I will be getting out! That may help my melancholy.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


  • I have SAHM friends that belong to groups and I'm a WM, so I hear ya.

    Have you tried connecting w/ others on your local board?  Maybe some of the ladies to play dates on wknds or have an exercise group?

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Have you looked on Meetup.com? I know in my area they have a working moms group. Also, I joined one that meets with the kiddies during the day, but they also do mom's night out. Maybe even if the group meets mostly during the day with the kids, you could still attend even stuff without kiddie, make the connections and plan weekend playdates with your LO. As a SAHM, it is hard to meet people during the day, so of course most groups will be geared toward that. If you were invited to the group I'm sure they want you there and are not sending a message to you about your choice to work. Also, i happened to meet a few moms thriugh ankther women's group. I joined just to meet people, but in the process found some mom friends. Good luck, I think SAHM or working outside the home, it is challenging to meet people and make those connections that we all need to stay sane.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • imageITGurl0626:
    imagecampbaby76:

      SAHM's are certainly something to be admired.  I think I would be fine being with the baby all day, I am just not very motivated to do all the other stuff that comes with staying at home. Laundry, Cleaning etc.  I find it so much easier to do if I am not there all day to procrastinate. (Please don't flame me, it makes sense in my head)

    I had to laugh at this because I am the same exact way.  The entire 12 weeks that I was home with my LO, I barely did all of the cleaning I could've done.  I would often lay in bed with my baby kissing & snuggling her & bumping on this board all day.

    No flaming from me, I totally get you!  All of the mommy groups in my area seem to do things during the week while I'm at work.  It is what it is....my income is needed in my household so I am doing what is best for my LO & so are you. (((hugs)))

    Sing it, Girls! Here's one of my favorite quotes:

    You sometimes see a woman who would have made a Joan of Arc in another century and climate, threshing herself to pieces over all the mean worry of housekeeping. ~Rudyard Kipling

    You know what? There are books to write, books to review, books to read, my magazine to edit. F--- my house. Seriously. One of my friends is an amazing artist. She just had her first solo show in Chicago, and we're going to do some collaborative work together soon. One time I was lamenting housework, and she said, "Let it go Grey Gardens! There's art to make."

    If you need to look up what Grey Gardens is, it's worth it.

    I know that wasn't the point of this thread, but it struck a chord with me. It's just like my professor "frenemy" I posted about on here recently used to complain that I got so many publications when we had all this grading to do, and I told her, "No one's going to know who we are after we're dead based on grading." (And I feel the same way about a clean house, too.) How sad if you're dead and people remember how clean your house was. I still think I'm a great professor and I comment a lot on student work, but you have to make time for yourself.

    Back to your original point--maybe it's not a Mom's group you need. Maybe there's a community group of some other type and people with similar interests will happen to have kids. Like, I'm more comfortable with going to things like music and arts events or political events, and if people there happen to have kids, then that's something else we have in common, too. I've only gone to one "Moms" thing, and it was incredibly awkward until a guy I know who is a history teacher showed up with his daughter.

    I know around here the Parks Department has "trips" since we're in the middle of nowhere. They'll rent a bus and you can go to a minor league baseball or hockey game and things like that. I'd look for things like that and then just try to make friends naturally, and maybe some of them will happen to have kids.

    And by the way, your career is awesome! Jack's so lucky to be growing up in the environment he is and going to meetings with "Mommy" and having your great staff "raising" him along with you :-)

    MacAndCheese
    Mac and cheese lover!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


  • I get meetup.com emails ALL the freakin' time.. and I've seen quite a few working-mom groups out there. Just type it in the search bar and you'll surely find something. :)

    I am a SAHM actually and I've been in a few mom's groups - but not anymore. I did them w/my son to make some friends.. so I befriended a few moms, and quit the group - staying friends w/the select few I liked. There's a LOT of catty women out there.. I don't have the time for mom's groups anymore - too much dramaz!

This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"