Confession

KissyfaceKate

I have been debating posting this, but I am having a hard time dealing so I am.

Last Monday I went to the ER for my stupid pain that keeps coming back, and guess what surprise BFP!! However I was bleeding BAD with huge huge clots...My urine test was negative but they ran a beta and it was like 12. So we did an u/s and there was nothing to see. So I guess it was a chemical. Very bittersweet. I had honestly given up hope, but now I think there might be a glimmer left. Who knows, right?!

What is super awful is that DHs cousin, who he is very close to announced her pregnancy that same day. They were born a month apart and that would of just been super fun to experience with her. 

I was ok the first few days, sort of like you can't lose what you never had but now I am feeling really bad about it. What is this was our one miracle and that was it? What if my body just hates being pregnant? This is my third loss including the ectopic.

I have to rerun a beta next week and am going to talk to my ob. My REs office is under new management but i Iove him and the nurses but not the staff(especially the financial) so I don't know if we can even go down that road...we have been paying down ourr emaining balance monthly but now they want 50% of it payed before we can be treated there again so I honestly don't know what to do about that...if we could pay 50% we would of already. Ugh.

Sorry this got to be long. I am just all over the place emotionally. I didntknow if I wanted to post bc I felt like it would make me less IF. Dumb, I know! 

Thanks for listeneing! 

Yolanbo9

I'm so sorry Kate

I think if you could post this anywhere it is here!!

(((Huge Hugs))) to you!!

 

STL34

I'm sorry, hon.  ((HUGE HUGS)) 

Don't feel bad about posting stuff like that here.  I really hope you can move forward with treatment again soon.  I don't think this was your one shot at a miracle. 

SweetDahlia

I'm sorry hon. Huge hugs.

Mrs.Voz

Kate... I am so sorry, hun.  I hate that you had such a bittersweet moment.  I'm truly thinking of you and your DH and your both in my prayers.  {{{Huge Hugs}}}

illinigal

Huge hugs.  I'm so sorry you are feeling this way and having to deal with the financial side of things never makes it easier.  I hope you are able to try again when you and your dh are ready and that your sticky miracle is on its way soon.

icedcoffeeluv

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

DeputiesWife

::hugs::

I am thinking of you and so very sorry you have to go through all of this.

Always here for you. 

amaksym05

I am sorry sweetie.. Remember we are always here to listen and support you! Sorry you are dealing with this! (((HUGS)))

jessican08

I am so sorry ((HUGS)). 

Rachael07.07.07

(((hugs))) Of course it is ok for you to talk about this here! I'm very sorry for your loss hun. I hope everything works out for you with your clinic. (((morehugs)))

07may07

((hugs)) I am so sorry you are going through all of this.  It is so unfair.  You have been through too much already.

Please know that we're here to support you.

emca

I'm so sorry you are going through this.  IF is so unfair.  I hope you can figure out what is going on with the RE's office.  Good Luck and hang in there!

theworms

i'm so sorry cutie

more ((HUGS))

i'm glad you posted, we're all here for you

 

MBfromBMC

(((huge hugs)))

No matter the circumstances, it is still a loss in my book and it still hurts.  I am sorry that so many things are happening to you at the same time...

Hang in there, KFK!

orange1414

((hugs))

Tanya+Da

I am so sorry. ((HUGS)) I am glad you posted here. Wish you didn't have to post at all, though.

MontyMrs

((HUGS)) sweetie, thinking of you. 

Edwina.McDunnough

I am so sorry. Tons of hugs!