Feeling out of place (kinda long and random)

abbiejon

{Back-story} For most of my adult life I have often felt like I was ahead of the game. I was an office manager of multiple physical therapy offices when I was 22, and all of my staff was younger than me. I was lucky and didn't have many people that had an issue with my age. After being in the medical field for 10 years I left to follow my dream of becoming a Chef. Ok did that, but I teach private cooking lessons, and do personal chef work, and the need or the ability to spend the money on a private chef isn't there for most people. So I had to go back and get "a real job". I went back to the medical field. (I am now and have always been on the insurance/billing side of the medical field)

{The Now-ish} About 4 months ago DH and I decided to stop trying not to get preg. but are not really trying hard to conceive (yet). I am ready, and so is he, but I don't want to get all stressed out and obsessed with TTC, I am just trying to let things happen. Of course until I get tired of waiting then I will do all those things that can be done to give a better shot at the BFP.  I am back at work, but because of our maybe baby plans I chose not to go into management again, but am working in billing. I am now one of the oldest in my office (and by no means am I old at 29) I have noticed that I don't seem to fit in my life any more. All my friends that are my age are mommies and daddies now. Some with babies some with grade school kids of them even with teenage step-children, all of my co-workers and other aquatints are in their early 20's and (I'm sure it is just me being pissy about things) I am not "young and fun" in their eyes. I feel like I am at such an inbetween place in the world. I watch all my friends on facebook or their blogs and it's all about their wonderful children and birthday parties, and family vacations. I see these posts and become so envious (and that makes me more upset, I don't want to be that way). When I say something to DH, he just says, we'll be fine. Life goes that way sometimes. (Grrrrr) I know that but it doesn't change the way I feel

{The End} I just feel like I don't fit in my life anymore. I just don't know. I feel like I am in-between clothing sizes, too tall for the girls department, not enough hips for the juniors clothing, only in my day to day. I don't have any kind of question with this post. I just needed to get it out. Thank you for reading, and I hope I don't bum you out.  

 

Melaneigh1

Yeah, I'm pretty much there, too.

I took my time in college while most of my friends pushed through.  I got married and worked and took some time off.  Now, I'm about to finish my master's and will finally be settling into my career (teaching).  I'll be 28 when I graduate.

DH and I really aren't sure what our plans are regarding kids.  We won't ttc due to a genetic disorder, but adoption is definitely not in the plan until I graduate and have worked at least a year.

And I have found amazing friends here, on a baby board of all places, lol.

I feel like I'm just holding my breath right now, waiting for the rest of my life to start.

Anyway, there are women of all ages and stations in life here, so stick around if you want to around while you figure everything out.

staycee

I'd bet more people feel this way at one point or another in their life than you'd know.

I've always "not fit".   My school friends were all married and having babies in their 20s.   My CW/Friends were all about 4-5 years older than me (when I started that job at 30) and had kids in Jr. High, while I was still single.

Now those work friends (and a couple HS friends) are becoming grandparents...while I am just starting out with the babies (had #1 and age 38, and #2 at age 39).   Amazingly, my friendships have survived these vast differences in our places in life.

beeb11285

I know how you feel. You are definitely not alone. I've always been that girl that exceeds everyone's expectations in the working field and last year I got tired of feeling like that and decided to get myself a better job. I got lucky in that department and found one that I really like. My dad also gave me some advice in this area... He said that if there is something you want to do in life, decide if you would rather do it for a living or if you would rather enjoy it as a hobby. If the latter... Then try to find something that will pay for your family and your hobby, if the first, then you need to go for it and learn how to cope with what you get paid. It is all a matter of what your priorities are. For me, it was to continue trying to be a career woman that allows me to help provide for my family and pay for my hobbies.I've also always been the girl that everyone thought would be the first to get married and have kids. I was with my hubby for 6 years before marriage as well. I was the second to last of my friends to get engaged and right now am the last to talk about getting pregnant. We are talking about trying some time late next year which would put all my friends kids at least 3 years old when I have my first. I have never felt so unlike myself bc the most important thing to me growing up was finding the right person and starting a family as soon as I got a "real job".I don't know if this will help at all... I finally stepped back to think about why I felt jealous of my friends and why I wanted what they had instead of enjoying everything I have. I'm finally starting to feel like things are supposed to work out like this. I felt this feeling like things are completely not how I thought they would be but that it was ok. I think if you are feeling out of place, you might take a step back and decide what you really want right now. Maybe you should shoot for management even if you are going to try to start a family. You should find what will keep you feeling like you when you have that baby. Good luck and I hope you find what you need!

frootloop

Wait a sec... at 22 you were a manager - you did that for 10 years, left to become a chef - did that, went back to medical - and you are now 29??

JenniferJaneC

frootloop:

Wait a sec... at 22 you were a manager - you did that for 10 years, left to become a chef - did that, went back to medical - and you are now 29??

I assume she wasn't a manager right away.  She probably worked up to that.

 

abbiejon

I started in the medical field @ 18 at the front desk. And 2 offices later I ran 4 phys. therapy offices. 

abbiejon

Thanks ladies. I was sure that I wasn't the only person in the world to feel this. I do know that what I have now is great. I just needed to vent. Because DH and I have now been together for 9 years (married for almost 3) people are asking A LOT about babies, and it gets to me sometimes. 

Thank you all for being wonderful! 

NavyClan

eh, I think it's somewhat normal to feel the way you are. Not to trivialize your feelings or anything, but you just have to do your own thing you know? You'll eventually settle into some things or find some people that make you feel comfortable where you're at. It does suck sometimes to feel on the outside, but just keep on doing what you do and you'll find that niche eventually. 

PubStar09

fredalina:

I want to feel bad for you, but you lost me when you started complaining that you're too tall and skinny and therefore you can't fit in clothes most people transition into as preteens... and you're 29.

Melaneigh1

PubStar09:

fredalina:

I want to feel bad for you, but you lost me when you started complaining that you're too tall and skinny and therefore you can't fit in clothes most people transition into as preteens... and you're 29.

I'm thinking that was an analogy.

JenniferJaneC

fredalina:

I want to feel bad for you, but you lost me when you started complaining that you're too tall and skinny and therefore you can't fit in clothes most people transition into as preteens... and you're 29.

Pretty sure that was an analogy for her life, and not a literal statement.

abbiejon

fredalina:

I want to feel bad for you, but you lost me when you started complaining that you're too tall and skinny and therefore you can't fit in clothes most people transition into as preteens... and you're 29.

 

I am not tall or skinny. It was just another way to say I don't fit.