WWYD? Freaked out about a major daycare mistake
DH went to pick up DS at daycare (this is a school-type facility, not in-home) and when he arrived, DS was being fed the WRONG bottle. Yep, he drank 5 oz of someone else's breast milk. I am so disgusted and angry over this that I can't think straight. I have talked to the other mom and she says she has no illnesses, told me what she had eaten the past few days and said she takes no medications, but I don't know her and I have no choice but to just take her word for it. I asked if she'd be willing to take a blood test for my peace of mind and she said no.
DS has been there 8 weeks and so far has come home with two owie reports where he has been scratched on the face by another baby, caught a cold, and was put in a crib with a blanket, now this!
Just looking for thoughts and/or advice on how to handle this.
Re: WWYD? Freaked out about a major daycare mistake
i have no thoughts or advice other than to talk to the director about your concerns? it seems like whenever I talk to the classroom staff, they are like "yes, mrs. such and such of course wei will do that" and then it doesn't happen. My next plan of action is going to the director and hoping that will work.
Are you writing his/her name on the bottle? Maybe you should write it on the individual pieces, too?
His name is written on the bottle, the cap and the nipple ring. There is also a section in the refrigerator with his name where his bottles are placed. We also label them with sticky dots with the date every day. So many precautions and they still got it wrong.
I'm definitely planning on having a sit down with the director. I need to come up with a list of questions and expectations. This is my first (and only) baby, so it's definitely a learn-as-I-go experience.
This is really huge.
You need to document this (date and all the precautions you took with labeling) and the blanket issue. Go directly to the director and tell her what happened. I also think you need to report this to the state. (Call your court house and they can direct you) This is just too big to let go.
FWIW, I think asking the mom for a blood test isn't necessary. I am sure any mother would disclose issues in this situation.
I would def. plan a sit down with the director and teacher. I've worked as an infant teacher and I can't imagine ever giving a child the wrong bottle. That is something you do not mess with no matter how hectic things get. As PP poster mentioned, document this with the date and teacher working.
Accident reports with scratches, etc. are going to happen, especially when your child is around other children. But, the blanket issue is another one to take seriously. You should doublecheck your state regs. It was against regulations for us to put anything in the crib with a child. We were not able to swaddle and the child had to be on their back and this was very strict.
Good luck! I would def. be looking into other centers.
I would freak the fvck out on them, to be honest.
I'm sure the other mother is trustworthy, and as best as you can, you'll have to try not to let it worry you (I know, yeah right.) I would have been willing to take a blood test, personally, because I know how upset I would be in your shoes, but she has every right to refuse.
Honestly, all of that combined would have me yanking him and fiding a different day care.
I'm really sorry.
Honestly I think it's a bit extreme to ask someone to take a blood test because your kid accidently was served one bottle of her breast milk. I would be offended as that mother if I voluteered all the information you were looking for and you were demanding a needle in my arm about it! It's not her fault, either, and I doubt she is serving her child tainted breastmilk. I understand the wrong food (especially BM due to food allergies, etc.) is a big deal, but probably not worth offending another mother who was innocent in the switch up, IMHO.
I agree with this. I also agree it's a big deal, especially b/c of allergies and sensitivities. I would also go to the director, document, and make a change if something else happened. If my baby didn't have any adverse reaction, I'd probably try to get over it after you talk with the director.
This. I think I'd pull my LO out and find a new day care. Sorry sweetie.
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As pps mentioned, I'd definitely talk with the director and that teacher. Depending on how they react, I'd consider switching. After speaking with them both you should feel reasonably confident that they understand the gravity of the mistake and that it won't happen again. If they blow it off, or blow you off, I'd be out the door. You should always feel like your child care provider is listening to you.
As far as the scratches and the cold, that's going to happen anywhere she's around other children.
There is no excuse what's so ever that your child got the wrong bottle. I would report it to the state as well as talking to the director. There is a reason you have to have your child's name on the bottle.
The state gives points when they do visits and then its made public to what the faults are of the center. This to me needs to be documented by you not the director because she will probably tell you she will do it but wont. NO center wants those negative points showing up.
Good luck.
While I agree that your LO is going to get colds/scratches and such at daycare, giving him breast milk that belongs to someone else is pretty horrifying IMO. To think they still gave your child the wrong bottle after all of the labeling you went through and the fridge they have marked is unacceptable. I would be outraged and would demand answers and an immediate remedy. If they cannot provide you with any answers or a guarantee that this will never happen again, I would quickly remove my child from this daycare. That should have never happened for any reason. I think this is a large enough mistake that an inspection is in order. Your child could have become very ill from this if they had an allergy, sickness, etc...
I do agree with pp though about asking the mother for a blood test is taking it too far. She willing offered you up a plethora of personal information that she didn't have to do. I would personally be very offended if someone asked me for a blood test due to breast milk after I had already given her that much information. If you are that concerned, which it is fine that you are, take your child in to do the blood work. I'm pretty sure if I knew I had some serious blood born illness, I would have already taken the necessary precautions.
All of these incidents together is too much, imo. If it were just a few of them then I would let it go. The scratches and the bottle thing combined...that is a big deal. They are not being very careful and they are not keeping your immobile baby somewhere safe from other children. I would find a new place.
Fwiw, as others have said, asking that mom to get a blood test was over the top. I am sure she was pissed at the center's mistake as well...that some other baby was drinking her hard earned BM that was intended for her own child. I know I would be! I am certain that she was honest with you, and asking her for a blood test was probably like a slap in the face, implying that she was untrustworthy.
THIS!!
When I worked at a daycare. A staff member did that. She was suspended while they investigated the situation, and then they fired her.
Sad, but reasonable. I would definitely talk to the director/owner. Breastmilk is a bodily fluid, if you do do testing the daycare should pay for it. And honestly, with al the problems, I would be looking into finding other care. You are lucky your child doesn't have sensibilities, and hopefully the other mom is telling the truth.
Good luck and please update us.
DD 2.0 ~ 12/30/2013
I agree. While I know you were freaked out, you may have offended her. You might consider apologizing when you see her again and just saying, "I'm really sorry. I was so worked up by the daycare's mistake and I'm sure you are upset as well. I'm sorry if I offended you." I would think that if she is feeding her own baby the milk, she doesn't have a disease that can be transmitted through BM.