Sex Poll

MrsWhiteonWhiteSt

DH and I had a long talk last night about how he really wishes we hooked up more. With 3 kids under 3 and about 2-3 hours of sleep a night I have the sex drive of a paper bag and he just doesn't "get it". Am I the only one? So I'm curious...

On a scale from 1-10 how would YOU rate your sex life? (frequency, satisfaction etc)

On a scale from 1-10 how would DH/SO rate your sex life?

Comments?

Telyco

DH and I are on pretty much the same page - we both would like to more often but are pretty tired. Sometimes we are at a ten...sometimes we are at a 4. But on average we're probably a solid 8. I have a never say no policy and I have been trying to initiate more often because this was one of his complaints. So I say 8 but I'm gonna put DH at a 7 b/c I'm sure he'd love way more you-know-whats.

abba916

i think we're like a 7 on satisfaction but frequency is low I would actually like it more...but Dh is all nervous since my ER visit and he's super busy at work too..we would both like to have more lovin' but for right now- we're kind of on maintanance (that sounds SOO bad)

 and I can't even imagine what it will be like when Baby 2 comes...I'm thinking things might pick up for his bday in April...LOL

jewelsonu

frequency would be a 4.  the 2 days a week i work 6am-? really kill me. so i am always tired. plus ethan doens't go to bed until 9:30 at the earliest and i am 1/2 asleep most nights.

satisfaction would be a 10.  Sex has gotten better the longer we are together.  his biggest complaint is we don't do it often enough

MelissaSue81

I honestly don't care at all about sex right now.. Most of it is BFing related I think, I know my sex drive improved a lot after I weaned Eve.. Dh of course wants it always.. so he's probably not very satisfied with the situation right now.. We've had sex 2x since N was born.. which to me, is a lot, since we didn't even try for at least 10 weeks after Eve.

NikCole

Me: I'd give it an 8... just cuz there is always room for improvement!

DH: I think he'd say about the same... things have been good lately.

I think all men want it more. I was just joking last night w/ DH that I can't win w/ our sex life... the more he gets it, them more he wants it (which is true for me also) But, we've had sex 5 times in the last 4 days (yes, we did it twice one day... which never happens!) and last night we had sex right after Evan went to bed... a few hours later when we were getting into bed he tried to get more... I finally had to just tell him no... I needed a break!

But, I think you have a valid point MrsWhite... when Evan was little our sex life was much less fulfilling...  between breastfeeding and little sleep, my sex drive was non existent. I can't imagine I'd ever want to have sex if I had a toddler and TWO infants!

Kim72508

Our sex life has really declined since getting pregnant and having DS.  DS has never been a good sleeper so I feel like we're in a state of exhaustion every day.  Between working, taking care of the house and DS, then waking several times each night I have no energy left.  If I have time in bed, I want to sleep!  DH has been really understanding and we do what works for us. 

TinaL99

Right now it's a little different b/c I'm pregnant.  We're about 1-2x/week, which I guess is still pretty good considering.  But it's definitely not as nice, it's more just strictly for pleasure, no cuddling/foreplay really.  I'm still enjoying it though once we actually do it.  Luckily DH doesn't seem the mind the temporary lack in frequency, we know it will pick back up again in a few months.

We really got back into it a few months after Stella was born, hence getting pg so soon again!  It had never been better and I'm hoping we have that good luck after this baby, too.  We shall see...

JenJar

Obviously, we aren't doing much of anything at the moment, but while pregnant and pre-pregnancy, I'd rate frequency about a 7 and satisfaction an 8.  We were 1-2x/week, but I think we would have both liked it a little more.  We have great pregnancy sex...I hope it's just as good when we get started again!  I'm the same as Telyco....don't really say no, and I agree with Jewels...it's gotten much better the longer we're together (which sounds better than 'the older we get!')

meryltheresa

What is this S.E.X. business you speak of? 

Kim72508

meryltheresa:

What is this S.E.X. business you speak of? 

  That made me bust out laughing at my desk!  Thanks!!!

SeptemberBride'08

Since getting pregnant we've had sex like 3 times. Yup.

Prior to that it was also a struggle because of TTC issues. I guess I would give it a 1 right now. Go us!

Please note that I would totally take care of him in other ways, if I didn't get a horrible gag reflex since becoming pregnant. Oh the joys. He's a tough solider and holding out.

xKimx

Considering I haven't had a full night's sleep in over 16 months I think we're ok. If I weren't so exhausted all the time I think things would be a whole lot better, but we make do with our situation for now.

wendyj

It's just OK overall, I guess. Satisfaction would be an 8, but frequency is about a 3. DH would probably rate satisfaction the same, but frequency a 1. He'd have it anytime, anywhere. I do know he'd wish I initiated more.

I try to not say "no" when he does initiate, but, there are some times when he doesn't get my "definitely not" vibes. For example, (this is TMI, sorry), when I'm PMSing, I get absolutely exhausted a day or two before AF. Yesterday was the day, and I was snippy and moody on top of that, so I was just not in the mood. He knew how I was feeling, but he tried anyway. I feel really bad saying not tonight, but if I can't even get my head into it, the rest of me is not going to be happy, and that's not good for either of us.

Kristen61607

Well we have had stages - pre pregnancy and TTC our sex life was 10/10 because we were trying to get pregnant and had sex ALL THE TIME.

THen once i got pregnant we were both nervous about something happening so it was a 9 month dry spell. Poor dh...that was like a 0/10

Then last week I got the depo shot and I have to say it's been wonderful having sex again! Granted it's a lot harder now with the babies but I'd say we're a solid 6-7/10. I think he'd agree with me. 

battybtags

I totally hear you-being pregnant I totally lost any drive I had and with the nausea, etc I'm just not into it. I've never been a big "hornball" anyways, and being pg just makes it worse.

How would I rate it?  5-like I said, not a hornball so most of the time I could care less.

How would he rate it? Probably a 1.

Since I've met DH, I've pretty much been on some sort of hormone controlling drug (either anti depressants when we first met or BCP). The only times I was "drug free" was when we got pg and go figure it happened the first month off of the pill both times....which thrilled DH to death. So I honestly have no idea what my real sex drive is even like. This whole issue is probably our biggest marital issue most of the time.

mrsoc

My drive is there, but my energy is not.  If we were free during the day, it would be a lot more frequent, but I am so tired by the time both boys are in bed (they are now, but DH is working), that I just want to breathe and then go to bed.  I hope that once I start exercising more, I will have more energy and this usually always helps.  

TinyPinkBug

Sadly, this has never been one of our strong points.  After 10+ yrs together, I have sort of given up and DH doesn't really care much.  So, maybe 1-2 times a month.  I would probably rate us a 1, DH would probably just rate us as 'yes'.

jnk062602

Well, we have 3 situations

Normal Sex:  Is pretty good.  I think he would say 9, I would say 7.  I fully agree with the never say no idea.  I am on the recieving end of the "No", and it is not so much the not having sex part, it hurts emotionally and vulnerability to hear no.  His reasons aren't about me...more that he was overweight and not happy with himself, but it still doesn't help.  However, if I just get him going then he doesn't complain.  But I feel like I am always jumping him, haha.

Pregnancy Sex: Uhhhh pretty much non-existent.  I'm rating it a big fat 0, well not quite a 0 bc sometimes I win and make him.  He would probably say 10 since it is his choice, plus he is still getting bjs.  I want it, he doesn't at all.  He says he is aware he is not going to hurt the baby, but with my history in both pregnancies of bleeding in the first tri, he is still worried about it.  The worried feelings kind of continue thru out pregnancy.  Seriously, you would have thought he was punished when the OB told him last time to have lots of sex with me at my 39 week appt.

Post-partum Sex: I think we would both say 0, but for different reasons.  His would be frequency and that he said he couldn't enjoy it while I was crying.  Mine was bc of how painful it was.  I had a horrible time with recovery since the tearing went up and down.  Combined with the bfing, I eventually needed a estrogen cream at 5 months post-partum.  Once that worked, we got back in to it.  But I think we tried a handful of times over 6 months and it was painfully impossible the whole time.  It got do-able, but not actually good until about 1 yr post-partum.  Just a grit my teeth and bear it situation.  Besides my previous bfing issues, it is a main thing I am worried about with this baby.  DH of course suddenly got a jump in his libido and was wanting it.  It was a really tough time for us, probably the worse in our whole relationship.  I'm really hoping this time is different.