Moms of 2+ (esp. 2U2)

TinaL99

I have less than 3 weeks until Junior will be here (!!!).  Of course I'm nervous about bringing him/her home and anxious about how Stella will react.  We are going to rock her world and she has no idea.  DH & I have talked a lot about everything and we are going to try not to force affection and sort of let Stella take it all in at her own pace. 

Can you tell me about your first few weeks at home with a new LO?  How did your older child react?  What things helped make the transition smoother?  Did s/he regress at all that you noticed?

In our situation DH will be home with me for about 3 days (I'm having the baby on a Wednesday, probably released Saturday, DH will be home until the following Tuesday or Wednesday).  DD will be in day care Thursday & Friday and with MIL for 1 or 2 other days during the week in order to keep her routine somewhat normal.  My Mom is coming up the following week to just be there to help me out with things.

Telyco

We had a great experience - but an abnormal one because Evan was sooooooooo young. He cried when she cried at first - but then acted like she wasn't even there. He was still taking two naps a day so I had plenty of time to rest still...so it really wasn't too bad for us. He actually kissed her a lot in the beginning - and he hadn't kissed ANYTHING (or anyone) before that.

I had to ask my MIL to leave because I just wanted to get on a routine myself. But Evan was happy with playing with whatever around the house, watching a movie...things like that. He wasn't used to going all over the place everyday so staying close to home didn't bug him at all. DH would take him to Target or wherever a few times a week so he could let loose and run around.

Good luck!!

dle927

Can't believe your so close!

I was completely worried about Claire's reaction to a new sibling before Evan was born.  We talked about her baby brother all the time, played in his room, asked her for name ideas, etc. hoping it would start to prep her.  We bought the book "I'm a Big Sister" by Joanna Cole and read it, at Claire's urging, all the time too.  I honestly think that the book helped. 

 When he came home we didn't push him on her but I have to say from the very beginning she was always interested in where he was or what he was doing.  She didn't, however, want to "hold" him until he was a week old and then didn't want to for several weeks after that.  Fine with us!

I have to say, we never told Claire "not now" in the beginning.  If she wanted one of us, the other took Evan.  We pretty much catered to her.  As a week or two went buy, we relaxed that a bit.  Now if I tell her Evan needs me she has no problem with it - for example, C still does not sleep well and if we're in her room trying to get her to sleep but the baby cries, we tell her that we have to take care of Evan - it's seriously the only way she will let us out of her room if she's till awake. 

She also wanted to try out all of his stuff - his swing and bouncer, etc.  We let her.  She was over it within 2 days.  When we put him on the playmat, she wanted to lay next to him and we let her.  I think it helped with her bonding with him. 

As far as regression, I've never seen her push someone until I took Evan into her room at dc and the kids surrounded him.  C actually pushed two of the kids away and yelled "My Baby Evan!" She has never, ever tried to hurt him or has never gotten upset with him.   In the last two weeks she started to have temper tantrums but never, ever surrounding E.  DC told me this was a regression, I think it's that my daughter is hitting terrible twos. 

 Good luck...it went much better for us than I thought it would and I imagine it will as well for you!  Try not to worry or feel guilty...it's hard but that turned out to be the worst part for me. 

jewelsonu

I was really fortunate that dh was unemployed so he was home with me the whole time.  We sent ethan to daycare 2 days a week so we didn't disrupt his routine and let him see his friends.  We never forced sophia on him.  he would hold her for 10 seconds and then push her away.  He wanted to see what i fwas doing when i nursed her.  after sophia would go to bed he wanted time with just me.  we would sit on the couch and read or watch a movie.  he still likes the quiet one on one time we share at night.  for me it was easier the 2nd time b/c i was soooooooooooo much more relaxed about everything.  my mom came up 4 times in the 8 weeks i was off, dh was off and sophia was a much easier baby.

we didn't do a present from sophia or anything like that. he wouldnt understand.  every so often he will show signs of jealousy.  when she was young he bit her on the stomach. it was horrible.

my sister had it rough her lo's are almost 2 years apart and my older niece would cry any time the baby fussed or cried.

octoberbridesrule

TinaL99:

 We are going to rock her world and she has no idea.

I am so nervous about this! I'm glad you asked this question and I will be reading all the responses...

Thanks to all!

mrsoc

Things have been up and down.  At first, he was great.  Very interested, but gentle.  He came and saw us everyday in the hospital.  DH would take him on an outing everyday to do something special and I would try to make time everyday for me to spend with him.  After a few weeks, it did get bad.  He started to hit Andrew and we had to start doing time-outs.  HE would do just about anything to get attention (ie. climbing like crazy, getting into everything he knew he shouldn't be, etc...) In hindsight, this was about the time that Andrew developed colic so things were stressful all around, but we did have to make sure that the hitting stopped (and it has).  He will every once in awhile try to sit or lay on him, but most of the time he is very sweet and affectionate to him.  I have Evan "help" me get diapers, burp cloths, etc and this has helped him feel part of the process of care.  On the way home tonight, he was in the backseat saying "love Andrew" and it melted my heart.  I think it was the hardest when I was getting not much sleep, so my patience was very thin.  Ask for help....the best thing that you can do with 2U2 and try to get out, even if it is just for a car ride.  The hardest part is keeping him entertained, while taking care of a newborn so it is definitely easier when someone else is around.   

Good luck!  There were hard moments, but now at 3 months, we are all doing great and things have gotten easier