nat birth at hospital - gift basket for nurses

lalavvv

Lately I've been obsessing a bit about pushing past the protocols and working defense at the hospital.  They say they accomodate natural birth, but bottom line is I know they might be pushy about some things.
 If I bring a gift basket of goodies to the hospital for the nurses, should I pin some kind of sign on it that says "Thank you in advance for your care in helping us to have a Natural Birth"  Thoughts?

rjveldman

What makes you think that they'll be pushy? Usually if you give them a birth plan, they will stick to it unless there is a medical reason not to. I think a proactive gift basket is making you seem a little insecure. Also, make sure you have a birth partner that will help stand up for your plan. They can't make you do anything you don't want to and you won't be incapacitated - labor is tough, but you will still have the ability to think clearly in between contractions.

superned

rjveldman:

What makes you think that they'll be pushy? Usually if you give them a birth plan, they will stick to it unless there is a medical reason not to. I think a proactive gift basket is making you seem a little insecure. Also, make sure you have a birth partner that will help stand up for your plan. They can't make you do anything you don't want to and you won't be incapacitated - labor is tough, but you will still have the ability to think clearly in between contractions.

I agree with this.  I think the gift basket, which a nice gesture, might make you seem a little high maintenance.

tash_rn

I have no idea what your hospital is like.  But I am a nurse and I know nurses, we love food and gifts and what not .  So while it might not be necessary to bring a gift basket it certainly will not hurt anything and even if the nurses were already supportive, it will just make them extra so.  Go for it and its sweet of you to consider doing it.

lalavvv

hmmm... I dont know about your use of the word "insecure".  I was just thinking a peace offering might put them in a good mood.  This hospital does not accept birth plans.  They have a memo they give all their patients that says that birth plans are nice but they are "bad medicine" and that no one can forsee or script what will happen at their birth.  I will hope for the best.  The note on the gift basket was just a thought.  More than likely myself and hubby will speak to the nurses and let them know our wishes.

lalavvv

tash_rn:

I have no idea what your hospital is like.  But I am a nurse and I know nurses, we love food and gifts and what not .  So while it might not be necessary to bring a gift basket it certainly will not hurt anything and even if the nurses were already supportive, it will just make them extra so.  Go for it and its sweet of you to consider doing it.

thank you I was thinking more along these lines.  I shouldn't have said anybody will be "pushy".  I know most nurses are very nice and I just want to keep the positive thoughts going - I like the idea of bringing in goodies.  But including the note was the random idea I had that I am on the fence about.

anna7602

If your hospital doesn't allow birth plans, make sure your DH and/or doula are very well-versed in your wishes. Not having a written birth plan does not mean you can't turn down unnecessary procedures, etc. as long as you have an advocate there (you could try to be your own advocate, but you might be a little preoccupied!). I think this is the best guarantee that things will go as you hope. A gift basket might not hurt (who doesn't like getting gifts?), but how do you know who will be on call/staff the day/evening you go into labor? Better to go with the sure thing of knowing your DH/doula know what you want and don't want.

Also, laboring at home for as long as possible is another great way to ensure you're not subject to a billion things you don't want to happen.

honkytonk_kid

Honestly, I'm a nurse, and I still think giving the nurses any sort of gift is just strange. They're doing their job that they get paid for, they shouldn't need any extra motivation.

If they are not pro-natural birth, a couple cookies is not going to change anything. Better to focus on making sure your husband and your provider are on the same page as you regarding preferences. 

tokenhoser

Labour at home as long as possible. Keep the treats there. Enjoy them when you get home from the hospital.

I hate the idea of bribing nurses to get them to treat you better. I just hate it. I don't know why it bothers me so much, but it does. I did send my recovery nurse a thank-you card after I got home because she was lovely and went above the minimum she had to, even when the ward was really busy. To me, that's what was appropriate and kind. 

star173

lalavvv:

hmmm... I dont know about your use of the word "insecure".  I was just thinking a peace offering might put them in a good mood.  This hospital does not accept birth plans.  They have a memo they give all their patients that says that birth plans are nice but they are "bad medicine" and that no one can forsee or script what will happen at their birth.  I will hope for the best.  The note on the gift basket was just a thought.  More than likely myself and hubby will speak to the nurses and let them know our wishes.

Those anti birth plans make me think this hospital will NOT be natural birth friendly. Be as prepared as you can be, and even though they don't accept birth plans, you should have one written out for you and dh's reference. Oh, and if you can, get a doula.

beautiflaw

i dunno. why give them a gift basket for doing what they are already paid to do?

NaturalBlond

I just don't like the phrase "thank you in advance." It's presumptuous. The treats are fine though.

Temp76535187505890

Aside from whether or not it's weird or strange, I just can't imagine having yet another thing to try to remember to take with you while in labor.

ncjulia12

I have friends who are labor & delivery nurses and they LOVE when people bring in treats.  Of course, it's their job, but everybody likes to know that they are appreciated.  I just don't know about the sign.  I think of a basket or some sort of treats as a way to be nice, not as a bribe.  

tokenhoser

Why must a woman "be nice" even in labour?

I hate that I'm supposed to be concerned about nurse's feelings while squeezing a baby out my vagina.

TheQuietGrrrl

honkytonk_kid:

Honestly, I'm a nurse, and I still think giving the nurses any sort of gift is just strange. They're doing their job that they get paid for, they shouldn't need any extra motivation.

If they are not pro-natural birth, a couple cookies is not going to change anything. Better to focus on making sure your husband and your provider are on the same page as you regarding preferences. 

I'm kinda of this line of thinking myself (this suggestion usually came from NB instructors with an intense disrespect for ANY OB/L+D MD or staff).  I find it rather disturbing and condescending even insinuating that nurses' level of care can somehow be bought or influenced by the little extra goodies.  Highly unprofessional, IMO.

I'm not a nurse, but if my boss tried this to get me to do more than my job (or bend a rule), I'd be insulted.

honkytonk_kid

TheQuietGrrrl:

honkytonk_kid:

Honestly, I'm a nurse, and I still think giving the nurses any sort of gift is just strange. They're doing their job that they get paid for, they shouldn't need any extra motivation.

If they are not pro-natural birth, a couple cookies is not going to change anything. Better to focus on making sure your husband and your provider are on the same page as you regarding preferences. 

I'm kinda of this line of thinking myself (this suggestion usually came from NB instructors with an intense disrespect for ANY OB/L+D MD or staff).  I find it rather disturbing and condescending even insinuating that nurses' level of care can somehow be bought or influenced by the little extra goodies.  Highly unprofessional, IMO.

I'm not a nurse, but if my boss tried this to get me to do more than my job (or bend a rule), I'd be insulted.

I agree with the bolded part. And I think many nurses would feel the same way. But mostly I just think it's ineffective.

The only thing about your second statement is that expecting a nurse to honor your NB preferences as much as possible isn't doing more than their job, or bending rules, it's basic standard care.

Like pp mentioned, sending a thank you card afterward would be completely appropriate and likely much appreciated.

andthatmakes4

I don't think giving them treats as a 'thank you' even for just doing their job is a bad thing.  I have lots of friends that give presents to their kid's teachers.  Teachers are paid to teach and nurture kids but we still appreciate them and want to honor them.  Why should nurses be any different?  I think its a nice gesture but I would leave off the note.  I'm glad you asked this because I may bring in some treats for my nurses or at the very least give them some afterwards.