baptism?

kjs2012

Not sure what to do and starting to feel some pressure about it...wondering if anyone has a suggestion or experience with this....thanks!

Anyone know if you have to have godparents at a baptism? I'd like to do it in the catholic church but feel like its impossible at this point. Is it? We aren't terribly religious but I'd like to start off right with the baby which is due early next year.

Background details: 

I'm catholic, husband isn't.

We just moved to MD and I havent gotten to church and honestly do it only occasionally. 

I already have friends asking about who the godparents are and clearly volunteering in a very desperate way. Problem is they aren't catholic and/or don't meet the requirements I found online. I know some people use grandparents in a pinch but only my dad is catholic and he doesnt go to church, I know it sounds like a theme!! I saw some people have to take volunteers from their church but that seems icky to me despite the good intentions I just feel weird about that.

 

cordy_25

I had both of my daughters baptized in a Catholic church.  I was not personally a member of the church and my husband is not Catholic.  The willingness of the church to assist you may vary from church to church depending on their politics.  As far as godparents....my oldest daughter has a catholic godmother and a jewish godfather and the church allowed it.  I don't know where you are located, the church we used is in Carroll County.  PM me if you would like their info.  Good luck and congratulations!!

Megcheer2

Yeah the catholic church is a tough one. I can't answer all your questions but can tell you what insight I have from personal experience.

 

Dh is a godfather to two catholic kids and I am godmother to one of them. For the child he is gf to, only one godparent had to prove to be a practicing catholic. We are both catholic, but nonpracticing. So in that case, the godmother was the practicing one and she filled out whatever paperwork had to be filled out. I didn't see any of it.

 For our niece, who we are both godparents to, we didn't have to do any paperwork or anything. This was in a different catholic church than the first one. I'd also heard that sometimes if the godparents aren't practicing Catholics or aren't Catholics at all, that they could make a donation to the church and then their lack of Catholicism would be overlooked. Buy that's just rumor, I have no experience to back it up.

So I think it can depend on which church you choose to have your child baptized at, basically.

(edited for format - was bumping from my phone)

 

 

ucgrad

I think it will vary by church. Some churches are much more strict than others. I left the Catholic church, so we didn't do Catholic baptism, so I don't know specifics. I can give you some ideas to get started.

If you just moved to the area, you should find out which church you would be a member of. Catholic churches are districted like schools. So, you can attend whatever church you want, but generally you can only be a member of the one your house is districted to.

When you find out what chuch you would belong to, you'll need to call the Priest to find out what their rules are about baptism. In theory, a church could say they won't do it if both parents aren't Catholic.

If you don't like the rules of your home chuch, then I would venture out to other churches in your area, call the Priests and start by asking if they will perform baptisms for non-members. Some may do baptisms for any non-member. Some may do baptisms for non-members with a family connection. Some may do baptisms for non-members if you have a histor (past member).

It sounds complicated, but it should only take a few phone calls to get you started.

Oh, and they may ask if you were married in the Catholic church.

Cooper81

Honestly it really depends how strict they are on a church basis, Our church is moderately strict, others follow the rules stringently.  In our church one of the godparents had to be a practicing catholic and if they weren't a member of our church (which my sister is) you had to have proof of membership sent from your home parish.  Technically one GP has to be practicing catholic, the other can be practicing Christian, but they are considered a sponsor and not really a GP (but you can call them whatever you want).  I had a cousin who wanted to get her daughter baptised in the church and a particular priest gave them a really hard time because they weren't married in the church, so they actually had to get married in the church before he would let them go through with the baptism.  They were talking to another priest about the ordeal months later ( a friends brother) and he basically said, you should have come to me, I would have done it.  so it really does vary from church to church,.

SnoopyLuv

You just need one person who's been confirmed to act as godparent. Our parish made them have their "home church" send down a "Letter of good Catholic" or some crap. It was honestly  mess since hardly anyone we know actually goes to church.

Your best bet is to go to church, talk with the priest about the requirements and join the parish.

daisyterp

ucgrad:

If you just moved to the area, you should find out which church you would be a member of. Catholic churches are districted like schools. So, you can attend whatever church you want, but generally you can only be a member of the one your house is districted to.

When you find out what chuch you would belong to, you'll need to call the Priest to find out what their rules are about baptism. In theory, a church could say they won't do it if both parents aren't Catholic.

If you don't like the rules of your home chuch, then I would venture out to other churches in your area, call the Priests and start by asking if they will perform baptisms for non-members. Some may do baptisms for any non-member. Some may do baptisms for non-members with a family connection. Some may do baptisms for non-members if you have a histor (past member).

It sounds complicated, but it should only take a few phone calls to get you started.

Oh, and they may ask if you were married in the Catholic church.

Ditto all of this.  Our home parish is pretty popular and I think over-crowded, so they will only baptize babies who live in the parish.  I am Catholic and my DH is not.  We were married in a Catholic church.

daisyterp

ucgrad:

If you just moved to the area, you should find out which church you would be a member of. Catholic churches are districted like schools. So, you can attend whatever church you want, but generally you can only be a member of the one your house is districted to.

When you find out what chuch you would belong to, you'll need to call the Priest to find out what their rules are about baptism. In theory, a church could say they won't do it if both parents aren't Catholic.

If you don't like the rules of your home chuch, then I would venture out to other churches in your area, call the Priests and start by asking if they will perform baptisms for non-members. Some may do baptisms for any non-member. Some may do baptisms for non-members with a family connection. Some may do baptisms for non-members if you have a histor (past member).

It sounds complicated, but it should only take a few phone calls to get you started.

Oh, and they may ask if you were married in the Catholic church.

Ditto all of this.  Our home parish is pretty popular and I think over-crowded, so they will only baptize babies who live in the parish.  I am Catholic and my DH is not.  We were married in a Catholic church.

kjs2012

Ok asking the church directly sounds like a good idea I just need the motivation/bravery to do it.

We got married in the catholic church and long story short saw a big difference between 2 churches and the attitudes. Too bad I moved away from the friendlier one!!!!!!

moonfaerie

You can become a member of any church you want in the Archdiocese of Baltimore. You do not have to live in a certain distrcit to be amember of a certain church. The church that my kids were Baptized at requires one Catholic godparent, and the second person can be a Christian witness. Or you can have just one godparent.

asnowracer

my catholic church requires both godparents to be baptized christian, but one has to have been baptized catholic (and possibly confirmed too?).

So my sister was baptized and confirmed catholic and my BIL was baptized (but not confirmed) Lutheran and that's ok.

I will tell you however, they were really flexible with having the baptism at another parish. Same with the other parish. They required a note to be sent from one to the other. Also, they allowed me to take the class at one and have the baptism at the other. We chose to have her baptized at my parents church (where I grew up) because it's more centrally located for the rest of the family.

daisyterp

moonfaerie:

You can become a member of any church you want in the Archdiocese of Baltimore. You do not have to live in a certain distrcit to be amember of a certain church. 

This is not the case at St. Mary's in Annapolis / St. John Neumann, they have a map up on the wall in the parish office and if you live outside the zone they have marked off you can't have your baby baptized there, be married there, etc.  

moonfaerie

daisyterp:

moonfaerie:

You can become a member of any church you want in the Archdiocese of Baltimore. You do not have to live in a certain distrcit to be amember of a certain church. 

This is not the case at St. Mary's in Annapolis / St. John Neumann, they have a map up on the wall in the parish office and if you live outside the zone they have marked off you can't have your baby baptized there, be married there, etc.  

That's different! Is Annapolis part of the Baltimore Archdiocese? I guess each church decides how strict they want to be. I've never run into that type of thing and have had sacraments (wedding & two kids' Baptisms) at different churches, whether or not I was a member.

moonfaerie

asnowracer:

my catholic church requires both godparents to be baptized christian, but one has to have been baptized catholic (and possibly confirmed too?).

The official cannon of the Roman Catholic Church requires that godparents must be baptized as well as confirmed. If one is not baptized Catholic, they may be a Christian witness. A person who has been baptized Catholic but not confirmed may not be a godparent, according to the official doctrine of the church, though some churches may slide on that rule. The wording in the official doctrine is such that a baptized but non-confirmed Catholic should be allowed to be a Christian witness, however I had a very traditional priest say that is not acceptable.