New to Infertility group

kseav

Hello everyone!! 

Although I am not new to the bump I am new to this group. DH and I have known since he started chemotherapy last year there would be a chance he would be sterile so it wasn't much of a surprise when it was confirmed. We had our first appt with the IVF specialist last week and will beginning the long process soon!

 My question for you: Do any of you find that you are ultra private about this process?? I have found that I tend not to talk about it at all and when I do I get upset when I find they talk to their SO about it. I got like this when I got overwhelmed with all the questions about DH having cancer but thought this would be different.

  Maybe I take stuff to personal and that is why is bothers me? (example- as I write this I am FUMING bc a friend just posted a status on fb saying about tomorrow being a beach day and does anyone wanna go to the beach "preferably someone with kids" Yet I am good enough to babysit her son on my days off for free!!)

Thanks for your insight! 

OnTheLanai

kseav:

Hello everyone!! 

Although I am not new to the bump I am new to this group. DH and I have known since he started chemotherapy last year there would be a chance he would be sterile so it wasn't much of a surprise when it was confirmed. We had our first appt with the IVF specialist last week and will beginning the long process soon!

 My question for you: Do any of you find that you are ultra private about this process?? I have found that I tend not to talk about it at all and when I do I get upset when I find they talk to their SO about it. I got like this when I got overwhelmed with all the questions about DH having cancer but thought this would be different.

  Maybe I take stuff to personal and that is why is bothers me? (example- as I write this I am FUMING bc a friend just posted a status on fb saying about tomorrow being a beach day and does anyone wanna go to the beach "preferably someone with kids" Yet I am good enough to babysit her son on my days off for free!!)

Thanks for your insight! 

 

Um hell to the no. Seriously?! That is SO RUDE!! I hate people sometimes. xxx

kseav

Her response to me via text: ' I think you take these things offensively bc of what youre going through which isnt fair to each of us. but you cant take offense to those kind of things. You get mad at sarah for these things sometimes too (my roomie who is pg which my annoyance with her is completely unrelated) your timing is coming and your wait is only going to make you appreciate every aspect that people dont. You know I struggle with son so asking for a friend who can get mt child off my hands and theirs off their hands while we relax is for my own sanity" seriously?!?!

Mrs.McIrish

kseav:

Her response to me via text: ' I think you take these things offensively bc of what youre going through which isnt fair to each of us. but you cant take offense to those kind of things. You get mad at sarah for these things sometimes too (my roomie who is pg which my annoyance with her is completely unrelated) your timing is coming and your wait is only going to make you appreciate every aspect that people dont. You know I struggle with son so asking for a friend who can get mt child off my hands and theirs off their hands while we relax is for my own sanity" seriously?!?!

OMG-- there is no way I'd ever be babysitting for her again. So sorry you have to deal with this.

jessican08

kseav:

Her response to me via text: ' I think you take these things offensively bc of what youre going through which isnt fair to each of us. but you cant take offense to those kind of things. You get mad at sarah for these things sometimes too (my roomie who is pg which my annoyance with her is completely unrelated) your timing is coming and your wait is only going to make you appreciate every aspect that people dont. You know I struggle with son so asking for a friend who can get mt child off my hands and theirs off their hands while we relax is for my own sanity" seriously?!?!

Holy s*&t (oops sorry). I can't believe she sent that to you. I'll pretend that she was dealing with a screaming child while texting this and that's why her spelling and grammar is horrible.

((HUGS)) I'm sorry you have to be here and wish you luck with your IVF! This board is full of lots of wonderful women who completely understand (unlike your friend) what you're going through.  

Delta04

kseav:

Her response to me via text: ' I think you take these things offensively bc of what youre going through which isnt fair to each of us. but you cant take offense to those kind of things. You get mad at sarah for these things sometimes too (my roomie who is pg which my annoyance with her is completely unrelated) your timing is coming and your wait is only going to make you appreciate every aspect that people dont. You know I struggle with son so asking for a friend who can get mt child off my hands and theirs off their hands while we relax is for my own sanity" seriously?!?!

Welcome to the board - sorry you have to be here and deal with that foolishness.

kseav

Thanks ladies!!!

wither16

Thought I would throw my 2 cents in.  Even though it's not a surprise to people that know me that I am infertile (due to the severeness of my endo)  it isn't something I just broadcast to people.  So I am pretty private about it.  So much so, that I don't keep my own mom in the loop.  (She means well, but drives me crazy at the same time)  It's tough at times, because I do wish we had a larger support system.  We did make the decision to tell 2 couples, which they would have figured it out anyways.  The pros to this, I don't have to have people give me the "pity" face.  I also don't have to let people know my disappoint when things don't go as planned.  The cons, sometimes women make the dumbest remarks, which I know they wouldn't do if they knew what I was going thru.  So it's kind of a double edged sword for us.  (I should mention we are Military and that had a lot to do with keeping it on the DL)

Anyways, I think it's different for every person.  I was never shy about my endo, or being open with that, but when it comes to baby stuff, I kinda like to keep people out.  Which is why I love this board.  I have no friends who have gone thru anything, and it's nice to have it here!!

kseav

This friend knows more then most so she knows how sensitive I can get about it at times. It irrates me so much more bc she has been pg several times (choosing to not carry out pregnancy until the most recent) so she has not a spec of a clue how hard this affects us. I thought what i was telling her was between the two of us but she started sharing everything with her SO and that I wasn't very comfortable with bc much of it is rather personal. So many of our friends take me for granted when they see how I am with their kids that they can't see past how hard this has been for us. (i sound so mean!)

 It is so wonderful having so many ppl on here that can relate when not a sole I know can even begin to understand.

eponine7682

I am sorry you have to be here and I am sorry your friend is very unsensitive!! Best of luck to you with IVF!