NCDR: weaning

NicoleR524

I might post on bfing board but feel most comfortable here.  

After almost 13 months, I have to wean my son from breastfeeding.  I was prepared and happy to go longer but I can no longer do it.  For personal medical reasons I am sad to say that this time with my son has to be over.   

I have no idea how to go about weaning, I never really researched it because I was just going to wait and see and wait for him to be ready to self wean.  We are down to one feeding a day and this morning was the first time that he cried for me to come nurse and I didn't go in.  DH went to him and he cried for about 10 minutes but finally was distracted and started playing with DH.  He drank some water, they read books and played.  About 45 minutes after waking up (at 5am) he rubbed his eyes and went back to sleep no problem.  I thought that this might happen a few more mornings and then we'd be okay.

Tonight though, he woke up at 11 after being in bed for about 3 hours and wanted to nurse.  DH walked around his room with him for a bit but he was pretty upset.  I went in and held him, he cried and I could tell he wanted to nurse but I just couldn't give in.  I was crying and felt so completely sh!tty.  Finally, he snuggled against me and fell back to sleep.  

Anyway, I do not want that to happen again.  I don't know what to do, I don't know how to go about this.  Any suggestions or advice is greatly appreciated.   

ETA: This morning he woke up at 5:30, DH went in and he cried, but not nearly as hard as he did last night or yesterday morning.  He was more sort of whining.  DH said once he stopped pushing away the water and breadsticks he was offering, he seemed happy and they played for a while.  He didn't seem to want to go back to bed, so I came out and DS had a big smile on his face.  He just snuggled up on me for a minute and pointed to the kitchen.  I give him a cup of kefir every morning so I gave him that and he was happy.  Funny how he didn't ask for it with DH though.  I am glad that he didn't seem upset with me this morning but I'm going to assume that he's going to ask to be nursed again tonight or tomorrow morning.  I just hate the idea of him wanting something so bad and not being able to give it to him.   

moussy

Oh. You poor thing.  We have been trying to cut down on night nursing to get LO to sleep through the night so I go in and hold her instead of nursing ( like if she has only been down a short while and there's no way she's hungry).  It is so hard.  My sister had plans to ween at 1 year and was still going strong at 18 months.  She finally had to take a week long vacation and let LO stay with grandma and grandpa to get rid of the final night time feeding.

Good luck mama.

sweetpea18

Is he wanting to nurse as a comfort or is he truly hungry? If it's comfort, can you replace that with something like a lovey to comfort him?

NicoleR524

sweetpea18:

Is he wanting to nurse as a comfort or is he truly hungry? If it's comfort, can you replace that with something like a lovey to comfort him?

He pushes away water and snacks.  I don't think he is hungry, I believe it is a comfort thing at this point.  He has a pacifier and I've been planning on trying to introduce a lovey type object so I may have to do that.  

Thoughts on whether i should do the whole wear it in my shirt idea or would that just be torture?

 

ETA: he pushes away the water and snacks when he is crying. Once DH calms him down he takes some sips of water and gnaws on a breadstick.  When he's truly hungry though something like a breadstick won't satisfy him and he'll throw it wanting something more substantial that he can take bites of.  Like a banana or yogurt. 

 

 

 

NicoleR524

moussy:

Oh. You poor thing.  We have been trying to cut down on night nursing to get LO to sleep through the night so I go in and hold her instead of nursing ( like if she has only been down a short while and there's no way she's hungry).  It is so hard.  My sister had plans to ween at 1 year and was still going strong at 18 months.  She finally had to take a week long vacation and let LO stay with grandma and grandpa to get rid of the final night time feeding.

Good luck mama.

Thanks for the kind words.  I really hate this.  When you hold your DD is she crying and showing signs of wanting to nurse?  Or is she okay just being comforted? 

MWoodside

I will here very soon

We do mornings only right now, but I am weaning her totally at 15 mo, which is very soon.  To cut out the night feeding I just replaced nursing to sleep with a bottle.  She seemed a little confused about it & would ask to nurse (she signs for it), but I just gave lots of cuddles & hugs & eventually she took the bottle & fell asleep.  No issues with that since.

I am more worried about the morning feeding since she comes into bed with us around 4:30 or 5:30 & BFs side-lying with me & falls back asleep.  I am trying to decide if I should continue bringing her in there with a bottle of milk or if I should go in her nursery & rock her back to sleep (with or without a bottle). 

It's stressful & I feel for you that it wasn't your choice since it was a medical issue.  It is always hard to wean, even when mama is ready, so it sucks that it was foced on you   Let us know how it goes.  I really think a lot of times it harder on us then it is on them.  You made it to 13 mo so that is AMAZING & so much farther than most people so be proud of yourself for that!

astroMom

Are you giving goat or cow's milk?  What if you do skin to skin while giving a bottle of milk...then give a sippy with milk...etc...sometimes we have to give LO a bottle of water for his last thing right before bed, bc he wants to nurse and nurse to sleep, and I worry about his teeth...if that doesn't work, though, then I do nurse him...I'm a softie. 

Don't beat yourself up, mama, you made it way longer than most, and LO will be just fine!

pixy_stix

ZB gets a bottle of warmed cows milk when she wakes up at night (if she wakes up).  She takes it no problem from DH.

NicoleR524

MWoodside:

I will here very soon

We do mornings only right now, but I am weaning her totally at 15 mo, which is very soon.  To cut out the night feeding I just replaced nursing to sleep with a bottle.  She seemed a little confused about it & would ask to nurse (she signs for it), but I just gave lots of cuddles & hugs & eventually she took the bottle & fell asleep.  No issues with that since.

I am more worried about the morning feeding since she comes into bed with us around 4:30 or 5:30 & BFs side-lying with me & falls back asleep.  I am trying to decide if I should continue bringing her in there with a bottle of milk or if I should go in her nursery & rock her back to sleep (with or without a bottle). 

It's stressful & I feel for you that it wasn't your choice since it was a medical issue.  It is always hard to wean, even when mama is ready, so it sucks that it was foced on you   Let us know how it goes.  I really think a lot of times it harder on us then it is on them.  You made it to 13 mo so that is AMAZING & so much farther than most people so be proud of yourself for that!

The morning feeding is proving to be harder and I expected the opposite.  My original thought was that he'd give up the morning feeding on his own by just sleeping later.  Then I'd have DH put him to bed for a week and it would all work out beautifully.  Well, he gave up the night feeding on his own but then got into a morning feeding routine.  Getting up at 5 and then going back to sleep until 7:30.  I loved it!  I was ready to stick with this routine for the long haul.  But, now that I can't and have to stop immediately, I am totally lost.  This isn't the way I had pictured my adventures in breastfeeding coming to an end.  

I am so proud of us for making it this far and with actually no real issues to speak of.  I just hate having to say no to him before he is able to understand why.  His cry breaks my heart when I know exactly what to do to that would help him.  

Good luck to you too!    And thanks for the kind words and encouragement.  

NicoleR524

astroMom:

Are you giving goat or cow's milk?  What if you do skin to skin while giving a bottle of milk...then give a sippy with milk...etc...sometimes we have to give LO a bottle of water for his last thing right before bed, bc he wants to nurse and nurse to sleep, and I worry about his teeth...if that doesn't work, though, then I do nurse him...I'm a softie. 

Don't beat yourself up, mama, you made it way longer than most, and LO will be just fine!

 I'm not replacing the nursing with anything just yet.  He hates milk so far.  I keep trying but nothing's interested him.  His pedi said with his diet its fine if he's not drinking it just yet.  

He was never a big bottle drinker.  He had like 3 bottles twice a week while at daycare so I'm not sure that would provide the comfort he's looking for.  He's been drinking from a straw since 7 months and actually stopped taking the bottle at day care at about 10 months, just drank from a straw sippy. 

I do have some frozen breast milk left.  I may put that in a sippy cup and see if that helps.  Thanks for the idea.  

NicoleR524

pixy_stix:

ZB gets a bottle of warmed cows milk when she wakes up at night (if she wakes up).  She takes it no problem from DH.

I think I may defrost some breast milk if he wakes up tonight and have DH give it in a straw cup.  He was never a big bottle drinker so I'm not sure if it would comfort him.  And then it'd be another thing to have to wean him from....