Stay at Home Moms

Good resources re: impact of early years ...

Can anyone recommend good articles/books/resources about the impact that the first couple years have on the rest of an individual's life? Specifically, things like attachment/play/bonding that takes place before what will become the person's first memories.

When people say... "it doesn't matter, they won't even remember this age" - the opposite of that.

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Re: Good resources re: impact of early years ...

  • I haven't done any research on this topic at all, but I have read Freakonomics, and it gives various factors that impact kids' adult life, like family wealth, watching a lot of tv, playing sports, if mom was a SAHM or worked outside of the home, etc.

    Their was no long term impact of the Mom SAH for the first 5 years of the kiddo's life.

    Also, it's a really interesting book, if you haven't already read it.

    I also have always been a semi-Attachment Parenting type, and my understanding was that as long as the Baby has healthy attachments to adults (Mom, Dad, Grandparents, Childcare providers, whoever) that it doesn't matter specifically what adult it is.

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  • Any intro to developmental psychology textbook would cover cognitive development during the first years of life.

    If you're looking for scientific proof that a certain style of parenting is better than others, I'm not sure you're going to find it (although I'm sure you can find plenty of biased sources). It's easy to identify extremetly bad parenting (abuse, neglect) but there's a whole continuum of decent parenting spanning many different philosophies.

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  • To further clarify what I'm thinking...

    When someone says, "it doesn't matter because they won't remember" I believe that's true when you're talking about equally appropriate choices. For example, DH and I not going to take DD to Disney World until after she's at least 5 years old because we only plan to go once and we don't want to do it when DD isn't going to remember it long term. I'm sure she'd have fun if we took her now, but she also has fun now when we take her to a local amusement park. We're going to save the big trip for when it will really matter to her.

    But if someone's saying you can leave your toddler home alone all day and never show them any affection because "they won't remember later" -- well, that's something entirely different. It's true that they won't remember per se but the negative effects on their development will last a lifetime.

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  • Are you trying to justify your decision to SAH because you think that you're benefitting them more than putting them in a daycare? Honestly, I don't think you'll find anything.

    I don't do it for them though, I do it for me. I know my kids would be perfectly fine in a quality daycare 40 hours a week if I needed to work a full time job. I do it for my own enjoyment/benefit.

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  • whoa KC - I think you have jumped to conclusions - I dont think the OP is referring to daycare vs SAH.  Could be all wet here, but from what I read, that isn't where she was going or is coming from at all.
  • imageKC_13:

    Are you trying to justify your decision to SAH because you think that you're benefitting them more than putting them in a daycare? Honestly, I don't think you'll find anything.

    I don't do it for them though, I do it for me. I know my kids would be perfectly fine in a quality daycare 40 hours a week if I needed to work a full time job. I do it for my own enjoyment/benefit.

    No, I'm not really looking for a SAH thing. Maybe my question wasn't really clear.

    More like- when babies are talked to X amount, it impacts thier language aquisition to what extent?... When exposure to TV is limited in the first two years, how much of an impact does it make?... When babies are exposed to a variety of enviroments, is there a correlation to anything in thier adult life? ... If a baby has a variety of both male and female caregivers vs only interacting with one gender, any impact? When babies are exposed to music during thier first two years, then what? Best ways to stimulate a baby's cognitive development? Best types of play/toys for babies? If a baby is around all adults or around siblings/other babies, any impact long term?

    I found some books on amazon to start with, if anyone has any opinions of these resources or better recommendations, I'd love to hear them.

    Bright From the Start: The Simple, Science-Backed Way to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind fromBirth to Age 3

    The Scientist in the Crib: What Early Learning Tells Us About the Mind

    Baby Hearts: A guide to giving your children an emotional headstart

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  • imageThe_Jen626:

    I haven't done any research on this topic at all, but I have read Freakonomics, and it gives various factors that impact kids' adult life, like family wealth, watching a lot of tv, playing sports, if mom was a SAHM or worked outside of the home, etc.

    Their was no long term impact of the Mom SAH for the first 5 years of the kiddo's life.

    Also, it's a really interesting book, if you haven't already read it.

    I also have always been a semi-Attachment Parenting type, and my understanding was that as long as the Baby has healthy attachments to adults (Mom, Dad, Grandparents, Childcare providers, whoever) that it doesn't matter specifically what adult it is.

    I haven't read Freakonomics and I have no idea why...I keep hearing great things. This is helpful, I am going to pick this book up from the Library tomorrow. I'm definitely interested in the topics that you mentioned.

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  • Anything by melanie klein (although it is very dense)

    selma fraiberg "the magic years"-- This is my favorite book ever

    selma fraiberg "ghosts in the nursery"

    Ema Furman "Helping Young Children Grow" --This is a textbook meant for high school seniors, so it is very accessible. 

    D.W. Winnicott (anything), but a good article is "The theory of the Parent-Infant relationship" if you can find it, "The Child, The family, and the Outside world" is available on amazon.  

    A lot of these take some patience to get through, and they are mostly theoretical, but still very good.  I was studying child psychiatry with a lot of child psychoanalysts the year before I decided to stay at home.  I firmly believe in the importance of the first 3 years of life on brain development, the importance of pre-verbal memory, child-object relationships, and the unconscious.  I have seen pre-verbal and unconscious memories play out in a lot of kids who experienced significant trauma before they were able to talk (foreign orphanages, seeing one parent kill the other, extreme neglect, etc). "Ghosts in the nursery" (and some other things like it, including some disturbing video tapes) was the one that really still gets to me with my own children.  I really felt like I didn't know what my caregivers were bringing to the table (from their own childhoods) when I left my children with them all day long. 

    I know that I have faults, and me alone isn't an ideal situation for our children (or me).  I now have a family member who I know has well adjusted, happy children of her own, DH, my parents, and I all caring for our boys, and I am really happy with the situation.

     

     

     

     

     

  • RMJ, Bananabell, & Alli-

    Thanks so much for the resources. I have a lot of reading to do ...

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  • imageJessesGirl&MackenziesMom:
    imageKC_13:

    Are you trying to justify your decision to SAH because you think that you're benefitting them more than putting them in a daycare? Honestly, I don't think you'll find anything.

    I don't do it for them though, I do it for me. I know my kids would be perfectly fine in a quality daycare 40 hours a week if I needed to work a full time job. I do it for my own enjoyment/benefit.

    No, I'm not really looking for a SAH thing. Maybe my question wasn't really clear.

    More like- when babies are talked to X amount, it impacts thier language aquisition to what extent?... When exposure to TV is limited in the first two years, how much of an impact does it make?... When babies are exposed to a variety of enviroments, is there a correlation to anything in thier adult life? ... If a baby has a variety of both male and female caregivers vs only interacting with one gender, any impact? When babies are exposed to music during thier first two years, then what? Best ways to stimulate a baby's cognitive development? Best types of play/toys for babies? If a baby is around all adults or around siblings/other babies, any impact long term?

    I found some books on amazon to start with, if anyone has any opinions of these resources or better recommendations, I'd love to hear them.

    Bright From the Start: The Simple, Science-Backed Way to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind fromBirth to Age 3

    The Scientist in the Crib: What Early Learning Tells Us About the Mind

    Baby Hearts: A guide to giving your children an emotional headstart

    No, you were probably clear, it was just a huge reading comprehension fail on my part.

    Glad to hear you found what you were looking for! :)

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