Oh, frenemies. Why do you have to be this way?!?! (a vent) — The Bump
April 2011 Moms

Oh, frenemies. Why do you have to be this way?!?! (a vent)

Is anyone else dealing with snarky digs since having a baby? 

I still have 29 pounds to lose, and I'm working at it. I've started running again and am posting my workouts on dailymile. One of my co-workers (another English professor who runs) commented on my workout:

Keep crawling ;-)

because I've been running a mile, walking 5 minutes, running a mile, walking five minutes, etc.

So I just posted back:  Mean, mean. You're like an older sister I work with :-)

And her reply: Haha-not sooo old that I can't run faster than that.

She's the one who toward the end of my pregnancy asked if she should bring the handtruck to wheel me to our meeting down the hall. I guess the picking is still going on.

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And last night, another co-worker said, "I was going through your Facebook pics, and I thought, Wow. Shaindel used to look like *that*?"

Ummm... Thanks.

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Since we're all professors at the same school, it's really not like I can change my relationships with them or "unfriend" them on Facebook or whatever. They're both women in their 50s who've never had children, and I could understand them picking on me for a while after having a baby, but it's been FOUR MONTHS NOW.

I honestly don't know if there are any solutions, but thanks for letting me vent.

ETA: This might be because I broke the rule that female professors aren't supposed to have kids, and they're "punishing" me for it. There are only two female professors at my school who have kids, and they both got laid off during their second pregnancies and then hired back through unfair labor practices, so this really might be a "careerist" thing, but I don't necessarily feel comfortable venting on the working moms board since I feel like I know you guys...

MacAndCheese
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Re: Oh, frenemies. Why do you have to be this way?!?! (a vent)

  • Wait I almost for got you said you worked with college professors not middle school girls.

    That's really immature or can you even call it immature for 50 year old educated women?

    I'm sorry they said this to you.  Just know you are doing it for your self and not for them.  I give you high complements because I have a prenatal and post natal DVD for yoga to do and have yet to open the package from 6 months ago. 

                                                 Mom to 4 wonderful daughters
                                 Breanna, Ellie and 
                                 our 2 rainbow babies.

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  • Yuck!  I'm sorry you are dealing with that.  It's amazing the comments people make about how people look.  I'd say just ignore them, but they always get to me just that little bit, too. 
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  • Wow, I think commenting on anyone's weight, post baby or not is very inappropriate!  I'm sure even with some baby chunk (I've still got about 25lbs of it myself) that you're hardly obese.

    No one has been so rude as to say a thing to me about it, but what I say to myself is 9 months to put it on, 9 months to take it off.  Tell these biatches Liam is only 4 months old.  You've got 5 months left so back the hell off!

  • Shaindel,

    I'm pretty sure that even with your post pregnancy weight, you are still prettier than those women.  Their comments scream insecurity to me.  But it is still rude nonetheless & very juvenile.  I give you plenty of credit, I still haven't mustered the energy to hop on my treadmill.Indifferent
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  • imageITGurl0626:
    Shaindel,

    I'm pretty sure that even with your post pregnancy weight, you are still prettier than those women.  Their comments scream insecurity to me.  But it is still rude nonetheless & very juvenile.  I give you plenty of credit, I still haven't mustered the energy to hop on my treadmill.Indifferent

    Well said Yes 

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  • Ignore the idiots. That's what I ALWAYS have to remind myself. 
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  • Wow.  You don't even need to try to justify it for them.  They are way out of line.  It is absolutely possible to have a career and be a mom.  They're probably just jealous they couldn't.  
  • imageITGurl0626:
    Shaindel,

    I'm pretty sure that even with your post pregnancy weight, you are still prettier than those women.  Their comments scream insecurity to me.  But it is still rude nonetheless & very juvenile.  I give you plenty of credit, I still haven't mustered the energy to hop on my treadmill.Indifferent

    this. everything. im so sorry your dealing with that nonsense. it is so rude to comment on someones appearance. those women need a class in respect. good for you for running, you are doing far more than i am. i would have to walk to china and back to lose this belly. =(

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  • I'm sorry you have to deal with losers! I've been overweight all my life, so i know about the comment people will make. The comments suck and the people suck even more. I know you've probably heard this lots before, but ignore them. Know  that you are a better person, you have more self esteem, and you get to have Liam. They get to be bitter old women who never get to know the absolute joy of having a child.
  • Good job on making it a mile without stopping.  I started "running" again recently and I'm pretty sure made it about three feet before I was huffing. 

    Your body went through a lot recently and it's better to listen to it and walk when needed then to over push yourself and risk getting hurt.

    I'm currently doing the run three minutes, walk one minute route. (and it's hard)

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