S/O who is deciding your baby's name?

KateLouise

Reading the post below about kal-el, where OP mentioned that her family thinks her DH should get naming rights, made me think about couples I know where for various reasons one of them has had naming rights.

I know couples who have taken turns at naming successive children, couples who have one who has a strong "claim" on a family name they insist on using, couples where one has backed out of decision making to keep the peace because the other partner is being so strong-willed.

DH and I have always taken the approach of we both need to agree, which needless to say has created disagreement and debate.

So who decides in your family? 

Ruby_Soho

We choose together, amicably. For DS we had a short list we put together through the pregnancy. We had a name we were fairly set on but not 100%. When DS was born we knew immediately that wasn't the name for him so we took a few days, went through the other names on our list, went through the name book again, cuddled him a lot and decided together on his name. There was never any fighting, claiming or backing out. I can't imagine naming a child under such miserable circumstances!!

kellyrn9956

I cannot imagine naming children without the input of the other spouse. It's too important of a decision for one to do it alone.

couliegirl

Ruby_Soho:

We choose together, amicably. For DS we had a short list we put together through the pregnancy. We had a name we were fairly set on but not 100%. When DS was born we knew immediately that wasn't the name for him so we took a few days, went through the other names on our list, went through the name book again, cuddled him a lot and decided together on his name. There was never any fighting, claiming or backing out. I can't imagine naming a child under such miserable circumstances!!

This is how we will do it. P.S. I love 'Danger'!

mama31

Both of us decided.  I will add than DD#1 was named after his side of the family, so I felt that DD#2 should be named after my side of the family.  He was hesitent at first, but agreed.  It wasn't like I said this is what we are naming her and that is it.  The mn was the easy part for us.  It is finding a fn name that we both like.  Hence why this baby still doesn't have a name.

HannahO28

It totally perplexes me...how many people think they have sole naming rights.

My good friend told me "I get to choose the name because I just know more about babies. It's not like I would tell DH what parts to buy for our cars".

...Seriously. And for the record, her favorite name is Isabelle and his favorite is Emma. So it's not like they even have radically different naming styles. And he's no slouch when it come to baby names.  

PrincessFiona9

When I was pregnant I wanted to name DD Sophia but EX kept saying no. His excuse was he knew someone with a dog named Sophie. (btw, someone who he hadn't seen or talked to in years.) Finally he said if I picked Sophia he wanted to pick the mn, which was going to be Elisabeth. He was in rehab throughout my 2nd and 3rd tri, and missed the delivery, so I ended up giving her the name I wanted when she was born. I figured why honor his side of the family when he and his family were hardly in the picture, and DD may not have anything to do with his family as she gets older?

magsugar13

Definitely both...we both had veto power

35baby

originally my S/O told me to name this child since he has several of his own and he named his last one.  I told him I wanted his input and wouldn't just pick any old name if he didn't like it too.  It doesn't help that there are thousands of choices out there and I am indecisive.  Well he than suggested a few names which I thought were okay, but realizing I have a mn is mind some of his choices didn't go with that.  I told him and he hates the name choice I have for a mn.  The thing is the mn choice is my maternal grandmothes name so LO mn is not really up for discussion.  I now leave the fn up to him entirely because as long as I have one of the choices and it has meaning to me it doesn't really matter.  Two people should have input into the naming process if you are both together, but you really cannot agree on a name then just have one pick one and the other pick the mn choice.

alliejo725

magsugar13:

Definitely both...we both had veto power

This. DH came up with DD's name, but we both agreed to it.

emilymacall

I came up with girl names and DH came up with boy names.  It was easier for us to divide up the lists because I was more particular about the girl name and he was more particular about the boy name.  That being said, we both had veto power over the lists.  So, if he hated a name I loved/liked it was taken off the list and vice versa.  It worked well for us and kept both of us from getting overwhelmed since we were Team Green. 

lauranicole91

kellyrn9956:

I cannot imagine naming children without the input of the other spouse. It's too important of a decision for one to do it alone.

Me either. We both just throw names out there and then say what we have to say about them. We don't plan on naming any babies with names we don't 100% agree on. 

BrittKav

DH's not very good at coming up with names on his own, but he does enjoy discussing names with me so we talk about it a lot. We have pretty similar naming styles too so we've never really disagreed. I will say that the girls' names have all originally been my idea, except Hazel' middle name (Dianna). That one DH came up with, but it's after my grandma so not totally original.

Liz4444

I had picked the name years ago and DH liked it so he never tried to come up with a different girls name.

SHOPPRINCSS

50/50 There are times I wish I had naming rights! But there are so many names, we are bound to come up with one that we both agree on, it may not be my top five but at least we both like it. My DD name is a hebrew version of Isabel and Janise (Ja-nEEse) is my husbands late mothers name. It fits her perfectly..we call her Bells and Belly

Shawnee11507

I came up with all the names on our list so far (except for DH name as a MN and a family name he suggested as a MN). I kind of feel like DH is just going to let me decide, but I want his input. He did veto my #2 boy choice (Connor). I try to get him to suggest names, but I hate everything he has suggested so far. I don't know if he is serious or joking when he makes suggestions. I really want us both to decide. I have been encouraging him to look through name books and sites, saying maybe he will find a name he hadn't thought of or heard before and I will like it too. So far, he hasn't done this. Maybe he'll be more active with it when we find out the sex in two weeks.

Kristihotgurl33

I agree it should be a joint decision.My oldest son ended up naming this baby. we were discussing names and he said what about Ellianna i like that mom. the husband and i looked at eachother and we both loved it.. (it wasnt even on our list)

SnoopyLuv

Definitely should be joint. I just think no one should be able to say No without a reason. There should be a lot of give and take.

Luckily, H and I had decided on names before we got married and they are family names we both happen to love. It's a definite lucky coincidence.

TripMomma

We both need to agree. Though I will say I think DH is more easy going than I am, so if I pick a name that I love love love and he only likes it but doesn't have anything else he loves as much he let me have my way.

tusshie2004

When DH and I were figuring out names for DS, we had to like the names that each of us picked. If not, it got the axe. 

I picked the FN for a boy and DH picked the MN.

DH picked the FN for a girl and I picked the MN.

We plan to do the same for baby numero dos. 

Elsa1984

My friend refused to budge on the girl name that she wanted. She DEMANDED that if it was a girl, she got to use the name. Her husband was not a fan of the name but said that was fine if he got to pick the boy name, she had it in her mind that she was having a girl so it didn't matter. Well it was a boy, and he got full naming rights....luckily he didn't pick anything crazy "Wyatt"....but she learned her lesson when kid #2 came around to not demand like the did the first time.

My other friend made a list of names for a boy and girl with her husband. There was a girl name that she really wanted and loved (but he did not really love any of them. He liked them, just didn't LOVE them). She felt the same way about the boys names.....liked them, but did not have one that she really loved. So they narrowed both lists down to 3 names for a girl and 3 names for a boy and if it was a girl, she got to pick the name she wanted. If it is was a boy, he got to pick the name he wanted (as long as it was in the Top 3). They ended up with a boy and her husband named him one of the names. It worked out perfect for them because they both got a say in the Top 3 names.

SO and I agreed on the first name for a girl, but then he said I could pick the middle name. We had a name picked out but then recently decided that we don't want the baby to be named after anyone....we would rather her have her own name. So now we are trying to come up with a middle name. Most likely, I will end up making a list of middle names that I like and he will pick the one he likes from those. We have yet to come up with anything for a boy (we are Team Green).

MissBHaven1024

We collectively decide on names for our children. With DD, her name came to me in a dream and DH liked it. Since I had thought of the first name, he came up with her middle name, which I liked. It just was easy for us and worked out well. This time around, we are having the hardest time coming up with a name for this baby girl. We can agree on many names, but can't settle on any.

SLAHSarah

DH told me while we were dating that when we have a girl he wants to use a certain name after his late mother and grandmother.  Both are names I like so I have no issue with it.

Now that I'm pregnant and we're tossing around boy names (just in case), he is hung up on naming baby after himself (but call him TJ).  I'm not a fan of Jrs.  I have no problem with his name being part of the child's name, but I just don't want it to be THE name.  So we're still working on our boy list. 

In the end, we'll both agree to the name.  

msmerymac

I *joke* about the fact that I get a bigger say because 1) I'm the one who has to be pregnant and 2) we already decided that our children will have H's last name. But in reality, we'll compromise. Neither of us have names that HAVE to be THE name. We've already decided on a middle name for a boy (a family name on his side) and we'll do a family middle name for a girl as well.

blu-eyedwife

kellyrn9956:

I cannot imagine naming children without the input of the other spouse. It's too important of a decision for one to do it alone.

Totally agree