ever feel "defective"?

livvielo

I know it's irrational, but I'm starting to feel like I'm somehow "not right" b/c we're having trouble getting pg. We went out with friends this weekend who have 2 kids and had no trouble conceiving, and my husband said he was jealous that they could conceive and we were having trouble. He was super sweet about it--he has been nothing but supportive and encouraging and loving--but I still feel somehow down. Like I don't work right or something! (it's me not ovulating regularly; H is completely functioning.) We did one round of Clomid which didn't work, and now we're on to the second round with a higher dose. Just had an u/s this morning and there are a lot of follicles in there but nothing that looks on the verge of maturing.

Waaah! (sorry, I guess I'm just whining!)

Lisa

mimi525

Yes! I can completely relate. I did a round of clomid and 3 back to back IUI'S and 1 IVF (Failed). So, I can soo relate to how you feel. Also, I do not ovulate regularly and my DH is totally functional.  Keep the faith and good luck!

MrsThorsen

Yeah, I felt defective for years. ?Clomid didn't work, had a surgery to remove a polyp on my uterus, had my tubes cleaned, more clomid, nothing. ?All the timing issues were hard on the sex life. ?I thought I got over the "defective" feeling when I finally lost interest in having kids, I figured it was just the hand I was dealt, make the best of it.

But this summer DH persuaded me to try one more time, and use some more serious fertility drugs (the shots in the stomach) and an IUI. ?I made him promise that he'd take care of the baby if I didn't feel like it, since I was pretty well adjusted to being childless. ?We didn't think it would work, anyway. ?But lo and behold, I'm carrying our first child. ?

I've only told a few people so far since I'm still paranoid (my mother had 3 miscarriages before I was born) even though I'm past the highest risk time. ?The few people I've told, I haven't gone into the details of HOW we conceived. ?When my DH told some friends that we used fertility drugs and had an IUI, that old "defective" feeling came back in full force. ?I think I'm going to go back to the therapist who helped me cope with the infertility for all those years. ?It's frustrating to feel ashamed for not being able to get pregnant, and then again for only being able to get pregnant with scientific intervention! ?But there you go, the mind is funny that way.?

And by the way I've warmed up to the idea of being a mom, it just took several weeks to get over the shock that I would actually have to deal with the diapers, etc. that I had thought I had avoided through infertility. ?I'm counting on the hormones to get me through it. ?Other people's babies still bore me, but I just have to trust that it will be different when it's my own. . . I'm choosing a natural birth to get the full benefit of the mommy-love hormone stuff since even now I'm still not "into" babies. . .

princess_shelly

Yeah I have. ?Even though I have my beautiful son, I haven't been on bcp for almost 6 mos. ?Before I was on it, I was off it for another 6 mos. ?I only took BCP to regulate AF.

But before I got pg with ds it took us 13 cycles, had a m/c @ 13 weeks, then another 9 cycles to get pg with DS.

It is OK for whining! ?That is what we are here for to listen and support each other.?

babyjane23

I know what you mean, its like you always just assumed that when you were ready you would get pregnant.  And when that doesn't happen, it's just a huge let down.  Its so difficult when you see people who just get pregnant without even really trying; how many times have you heard "we weren't really trying, we just figured if it happens...it happens"
Try and hang in there, I know how difficult it can be, but your time will come, and when it does it will be perfect!!!!!!

NewMrs07

I feel "defective" too because it's cycle 10 already and nothing. And I have regular cycles, so it's even more of a mystery. I suppose it could be my "old" eggs, which sucks because there's no quick fix for that. Oh well, at least we all know we're not alone in this..

mehr

Every day!!!  I am on cycle #14 ttc#3.  I know I can get pregnant - I just haven't - not once in 14 cycles.  I know that I have to 2 children but dh (not kids father) and I would like to have one of our own to "complete" our family.  I hate to be negative - I just don't see it happening.  It makes me sad.

Bronxgirl73

Yes.  I feel this way all the time.  Before starting TTC I was never worried about having difficulty b/c my peiod has always been regular for 24 years.  Mistakenly I thought that was a good sign.  Boy, was I wrong.