Stay at Home Moms

Considering SAHM - things to consider?

Hi ladies-

H and I have a 15-month-old daughter and after a recent m/c are hoping to try again for baby # 2 this winter. 

H has decided to look for a new job and is very close to a job that would pay enough that we're thinking about the possibility of my staying home.

We're planning tonight to sit down and look at everything and determine what our magic number is that I can stay home. 

I've been reading a lot about how to determine if we can afford it and the plan is that tonight we will consider:

- our expenses + an "emergency" cushion

- the cost of my working

- things we can cut from our expenses to make this work

It helps that I am a journalist so I can freelance and bring in money. I also have a small side business I could continue to develop.

There is also the possibility of my consulting on an hourly basis for communications in the field I've covered as journalist. I've gotten a lot of interest in this in the past but can't do anything because of ethics while I'm working.

I've told H I don't want to count on my freelancing, consulting or side business because that would be pretty fluid and not guaranteed in any way. 

Anyone have any advice as we go about figuring this out (things that you have found out as a SAHM, forgot to consider or suggestions for making it work)? I would really love input from actual families making this work. I know that research and running the numbers is important but I'd love perspective from people who are actually doing it.

 Thanks so much!

DD Lea 04/21/10
DS Nathan 12/4/12
BFP: 3/31/15 EDD: 12/4/15


MC: 7/2011, 12/2011

Re: Considering SAHM - things to consider?

  • I am not a SAHM but I accepted a position that pays less with the hopes that it would be a great opportunity for me.  I literally sat down and went through all the things that we could cut out/reduce so I think you are going about it the right way. 
  • I work part time (15 hours a week / about 1/2 of that from home) my main bit of advice for you is that if you think there is a fairly good chance you will be doing freelance, contract or other work out of your house to leave a reasonable amount in the budget for child care (unless you know that you have family or DH who can watch your child while you work - and not just after bed or during naps).  I tried doing it without child care and it almost killed me, I now realize that I'd much rather give up other things in the budget to make sure I have enough time to get all my work done.

    GL!!! 

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  • When we were looking at finances, also need to consider "non tangible income", such as the cost of insurance, does your currnt employer offer 401k matching that you'll be missing out on


    BFP #1 via IUI ~ L (Fatal Birth Defect) 4/7/10
    BFP #2 via IUI ~ m/c
    BFP #3 via cancelled IUI ~ C (2lb 3oz; HELLP) 5/16/11
    BFP #4 via the natural (free!) way ~ E (8lb 11oz) 9/13/12
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  • The biggest thing that impacted our decision was health insurance.  I had great benefits at my previous job and stayed there a lot longer than I had planned, because of the wonderful benefits.  DH's job provides really crappy health coverage for lots of money.  We were able to go through Kaiser directly and get our own plan that is $500 a month for the 3 of us, and that's still $300 cheaper every month than going through DH's work.  So basically me notworking anymore added a new $500 a month payment, lol!!  So take that into consideration.
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I love that everyone is helping you out with finances, etc -- I'm a sahm and have been for 9 years. We live ok - just don't go on big vacations, or have super nice cars, or fun toys, or a pool.... but our bills are paid, our insurance is good, and we never go hungry, infact I feed more ppl not in my family:)

     All that to say I think besides finances, one thing ladies don't think about is "your out" -- being at home, gets boring - alot.

    You feel stuck sometimes, cuz there's no "extra" money coming in to do anything fun. You miss adult relationships, your ol' coworkers, you want to pounce on your hubby the minute he walks in the door - ADULT HERE!! lol
    Best advice...find something for YOURSELF - no kids anywhere near...alot of moms join mom groups, or join a class for lil ones -- that's fine...but my best out, is away...away away - it's a recharge...can't do it every week? Plan for something for you monthly....even a "walk" around the block with other "ladies" no kids involved - does wonders:) 

    Theresa Ganiere Momma of 3, future Momma of 4! Lilypie Pregnancy tickers image
  • imagetganiere:

    I love that everyone is helping you out with finances, etc -- I'm a sahm and have been for 9 years. We live ok - just don't go on big vacations, or have super nice cars, or fun toys, or a pool.... but our bills are paid, our insurance is good, and we never go hungry, infact I feed more ppl not in my family:)

     All that to say I think besides finances, one thing ladies don't think about is "your out" -- being at home, gets boring - alot.

    You feel stuck sometimes, cuz there's no "extra" money coming in to do anything fun. You miss adult relationships, your ol' coworkers, you want to pounce on your hubby the minute he walks in the door - ADULT HERE!! lol
    Best advice...find something for YOURSELF - no kids anywhere near...alot of moms join mom groups, or join a class for lil ones -- that's fine...but my best out, is away...away away - it's a recharge...can't do it every week? Plan for something for you monthly....even a "walk" around the block with other "ladies" no kids involved - does wonders:) 

    I agree.

    Also, the "fun" stuff that costs money. As kids get older, there is still free stuff out there, but if you want dance classes, swim lessons, etc. it can get pricey. Outings to meet up with friends, etc. Not everything will be free.

    GL! I've been doing this almost 6 years..... 

    image Mommy to Barbara 11/8/05, Elisabeth 5/13/07, Loukas 12/23/08 and Lazarus 09/25/12
  • I would live off just your DH's income. This will give you a realistic idea if this can be done. If you find yourself raiding your check every month, then you budget needs some more work. Also, if possible I would try to pay off any credit card debt, car loans, or any other excess debt that you have lingering before you stay home. Some of your expenses will decrease when you stay home like car insurance but others will increase like utilities because you will be home all day. I would also consider your retirement savings. Will you be contributing for a Roth IRA for you while staying home? How long do you plan to stay home?
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