Questions RE: Toddler Bed Transition... (Long-ish)

erin_aaronsbaby

So...we started the transition from crib to toddler bed Saturday. Since our room isn't baby-proofed, we leave our bedroom door open and put up a gate in his doorway so he can't get hurt at night.

The first day, Wesley did GREAT. Played before naptime, then climbed in the bed and went to sleep once he was tired. Same thing that night. Then Sunday came...he didn't want to nap in the bed, wound up passing out on the couch with DH - who then put him in the bed where he slept fine until naptime was over, and when bedtime came, he went to his room, started playing, we put up his gate, and once he realized we weren't there anymore, he had a MELTDOWN. HUGE crocodile tears, screaming, etc...totally un-Wesley-like.

I thought we should give him a few minutes to see if he'd calm down on his own, but DH couldn't (and can't) stand to hear him cry, and went straight to him and laid down with him. It's been like this for the past two nights...I guess what I want to know is 1) is it normal for them to have meltdowns like that when you make the transition, and 2) is it okay for DH to go to him like that, or should we see if he'll CIO after a few minutes? I'm just concerned that he'll get used to DH being there every night and will want it to continue, but with a newborn coming into the house soon, I would rather he be able to get into bed on his own without needing SO much from one of us. DH's response to all this has been that he knows Wesley better than I, and that he's not "emotionally ready" for the transition - but with Liam due in just 6 weeks, he doesn't really have much of a choice, you know?

Any thoughts, suggestions? TIA.

yelena1223

If you or DH lay down with him he will get used to that and will not be able to fall asleep on his own. Yes- They cry and scream and do everything else possible to tug at your heartstrings but it is best if you let them CIO and get the point.

We tried the sleeplady approach and let me tell you- it did not work. If we are anywhere NEAR her room- she gets out of bed and comes over to where you are. Because my husband cannot take DD's crying hysterically- he ends up laying next to her until she falls asleep (which usually takes 2 hrs because she first wants to play with him and he is so tired usually that he just ends up falling asleep in her daybed! Trust me- that is NOT a good idea)

This week I have been just rocking her to sleep and it has been MUCH faster to get her to fall asleep, but seriously- she's almost 2 and I'm still rocking her!?

So to make long story short- LET HIM CIO. You can come in once or twice to say "It's night time now, time to sleep. We are right here" and then walk out (if you feel like he needs that assurance that you are not just leaving him- but usually in my experience it just makes it worse, because they see cause and effect in that)

Oh, Good luck- it is very hard to hear and see your baby cry- but establishing good sleep habits is SO important- wish we had better luck in this department ourselves!

erin_aaronsbaby

Thanks - this is exactly what I needed to hear!