Separation anxiety - book recommendations?

nmh2001

My almost 4 year-old has some serious separation anxiety issues. She has always been super clingy to me and it's always been a challenge to get her to do anything without mommy. She switched to a new school this summer and screams like a banshee every time I leave her. She did the same thing at her old school and I spent a whole day at the school with her so I know the people are nice and the program is appropriate for her.

I have a 20 month old and a new baby due in 5 weeks (then I'm done, I promise) so I'm really nervous about her not adjusting well to her new school. Can anyone recommend a good book on dealing with separation anxiety? I'm trying to do everything I can to be supportive and help her adjust but it's still really challenging.

 

howleyshell

Llama Llama Misses Mamma by Anna Dewdney was our go to for prepping them for the start of school.

There's a line in it that says:  "Mamma Llama you came BACK!" and after that part we always say:  "Mamma ALWAYS comes back."  Then when I'd drop them off at school or leave for a girls night out we always say to each other "Mamma always comes back."

It's tough stuff.  I hope you both find some relief soon!

 

Pesky

Ditto the Llama Llama Misses Mama.  For nighttime and emphasizes the message of being nearby is I'll See You In The Morning.  Also, the book Owl Babies about baby owls worrying that their mother was gone and of course, she comes back and asks them "what's all the fuss about?"

howleyshell

nmh2001:

I have a 20 month old and a new baby due in 5 weeks (then I'm done, I promise) so I'm really nervous about her not adjusting well to her new school. Can anyone recommend a good book on dealing with separation anxiety? I'm trying to do everything I can to be supportive and help her adjust but it's still really challenging.

Not really separation anxiety but you may want to pick up:  "A Pocket Full of Kisses" by Audrey Penn too.

It talks about an older sibling dealing with a younger sibling getting Mom's attention and how she gives him a spare kiss to keep in his pocket as he romps off to play.

This book started a tradition of giving my guys a kiss to take with them when they go some place so they've always got some Mamma love on hand.

Considering your upcoming delivery it may be a good fit right about now for you guys. 

I also wanted to add that figuring out who her friends are at her new school and reinforcing THOSE bonds with her might help.  We started a new school this summer and for weeks my kids couldn't tell me who they were playing with.  Once they had a visitation day and I got to ask the teachers who they were hanging out with we started talking about their "friends" each night at dinner.  Then every morning I would reinforce that they "get to go play with Jack Z today!!!" and it went a long way in helping them look forward to getting out the door and off to school.

Does she have a buddy you could kinda 'hand her off to' for a lack of a better term?  If not I'd talk with the teachers about helping her find a friend or 2 to connect with so she's feeling more comfortable in the class room.

 

Amy720

The above books are great. I am a kindergarten teacher and I love the book The Kissing Hand. I read it on the first day of school. It is about a raccoon who wants to stay home with his mom instead of going to school. It is great.

cmanmom

https://www.amazon.com/Oh-My-Baby-Little-One/dp/0152060316/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1312230306&sr=1-1

 

Oh my baby little one.  LOVE this book.  Used it for going to preschool, for going to Dad's house too

nmh2001

Thanks all, I was actually talking more about books helping me understand the psychology of what's going on with her so I can help her throughout the day. She is having other issues too like acting out, tantrums, screaming fits that she's never had before and it's really taking me off guard. Any advice is welcome.