Parenting after a Loss

Elective u/s before 20 week a/s

Lots of girls on my birth month board and the 2nd tri board are getting elective u/s around 16 weeks to find out the gender.

I considered it for a moment but decided that I don't feel comfortable having an elective ultrasound until after my 20 week a/s with my doctor.  My reasoning:  if there is something wrong I don't want to be at some strip mall u/s place, I want to be near my doctor where I can get the information and counseling necessary to calm me the F down when something is wrong.  

How sad is that?  Always expecting the worst.  I bet that never crosses these girls minds.  

Prolactinoma, Hypothyroidism, PCOS m/c 8-19-08 @ 9wks 3d
"And where was I before the day that I first saw your lovely face? Now I see it everyday and I know that I am the luckiest."
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Re: Elective u/s before 20 week a/s

  • All the reputable places near me refuse to do anything before the 20 week scan AND require proof that you've already had the scan before they'll see you. I think that's smart. It's not about boy/girl, it's about health. A fact lost on way too many people.
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  • imageShellShockedMama:
    All the reputable places near me refuse to do anything before the 20 week scan AND require proof that you've already had the scan before they'll see you. I think that's smart. It's not about boy/girl, it's about health. A fact lost on way too many people.

    All of this.

    My neighbor was pissed that the place here wouldn't do hers until after the a/s. They told her they are not her doctor, and therefore wanted to make sure the baby was healthy and that she had been counseled by her OB before they would do a scan - to avoid a situation where the tech sees a problem the parents were unaware of.

    I told her it made perfect sense to me, but she was all pouty because, and I quote, "it's not like there's going to be anything wrong, anyway."

    I didn't punch her in the nose. I think I should get points for that.

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  • imageScout05:

    I told her it made perfect sense to me, but she was all pouty because, and I quote, "it's not like there's going to be anything wrong, anyway.

    That makes me INSANE with anger.

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  • imageScout05:

    imageShellShockedMama:
    All the reputable places near me refuse to do anything before the 20 week scan AND require proof that you've already had the scan before they'll see you. I think that's smart. It's not about boy/girl, it's about health. A fact lost on way too many people.

    All of this.

    My neighbor was pissed that the place here wouldn't do hers until after the a/s. They told her they are not her doctor, and therefore wanted to make sure the baby was healthy and that she had been counseled by her OB before they would do a scan - to avoid a situation where the tech sees a problem the parents were unaware of.

    I told her it made perfect sense to me, but she was all pouty because, and I quote, "it's not like there's going to be anything wrong, anyway."

    I didn't punch her in the nose. I think I should get points for that.

    All of the above, the wise Allisons are always right!

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  • Yeah I have definitely been surprised at the availability of these early scans  We did an elective 3D/4D with DS at 29 weeks because our hospital didn't do them and we thought it would be a fun keepsake.  I had already had 4 u/s by that time and I was still nervous that they'd see "something".  We had to sign papers with our doc's name and that we'd already had a previous anatomy scan. 

    I think in general people are of the mindset that "bad things can happen but they won't happen to me."  Obviously, none of us here feel like that.  

    Prolactinoma, Hypothyroidism, PCOS m/c 8-19-08 @ 9wks 3d
    "And where was I before the day that I first saw your lovely face? Now I see it everyday and I know that I am the luckiest."
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  • Oh, I don't think there's anything wrong with an elective one. We did one at around 30 ish weeks b/c I was jonesing to see the baby.

    However, doing it early at a non diagnostic ultrasound is completely ridiculous to me, not to mention immature and irresponsible. To determine the sex should be icing on top of a healthy baby cake.

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  • imageShellShockedMama:

    Oh, I don't think there's anything wrong with an elective one. We did one at around 30 ish weeks b/c I was jonesing to see the baby.

    However, doing it early at a non diagnostic ultrasound is completely ridiculous to me, not to mention immature and irresponsible. To determine the sex should be icing on top of a healthy baby cake.

    Yes 

    Prolactinoma, Hypothyroidism, PCOS m/c 8-19-08 @ 9wks 3d
    "And where was I before the day that I first saw your lovely face? Now I see it everyday and I know that I am the luckiest."
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  • My dr does one (for a fee) at 16wks for gender only, then if there is something wrong you're already at the dr's office
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  • imageMrs0815:
    My dr does one (for a fee) at 16wks for gender only, then if there is something wrong you're already at the dr's office

    Now that is an awesome idea, I wish more doctor's would offer that.

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  • vflipovflipo member

    imageShellShockedMama:
    All the reputable places near me refuse to do anything before the 20 week scan AND require proof that you've already had the scan before they'll see you. I think that's smart. It's not about boy/girl, it's about health. A fact lost on way too many people.

    Ditto.

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  • I had an u/s to check on my gallbladder at 15 weeks and the tech saw I was pg and asked if I wanted her to make a guess about gender. I had to turn her down being team green and all but I did ask her to see if there was still a heartbeat. Still it was a bit of mixed feelings not being with my ob at the time. I was happy em was there and safe but what would I have done if she wasn't.

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  • I had one at 16w with DD. Up until that point, I had already had 5 medical ultrasounds, so I knew that most of the stuff was OK. Really, the only bad thing that they could tell me at the 16w elective scan is that the heart stopped (they can't/won't check anything else medical). So, right before our appt, I checked the hb via the doppler.

    While I was excited to find out the sex of the baby, my main point of getting the elective was that they WON'T tell you anything medical. I wanted a "fun" ultrasound...one where DH and I could just relax and focus on watching the baby. All medical ultrasounds for me are not "fun". I hold my breath, waiting for the anvil to fall. An, I've been one of those who received "your baby has a fatal condition" at an ultrasound.

    Not to mention, at the medical ultrasounds the main point (duh) is checking the health the baby. So, they pause the screen, measure, pause, measure, pause, measure. I really can't just "watch the baby" move and do its thing. The elective lets you do that. You control the speed of te ultrasound. If you don't want them to pause, ask. If you want them to pause, tell them.

    If the elective 16w us was my first one....I probably wouldn't feel comfortable.

    ETA: Oh one more thing as well. My dr does not allow us to video record our medical ultrasounds. The elective one gives you a DVD of it, photos of your choosing, and it streams online in real time. Our families are in CA, so this was a way to have our parents "at the ultrasound". They got to watch it in real time.


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  • imagedamabo80:

    I had one at 16w with DD. Up until that point, I had already had 5 medical ultrasounds, so I knew that most of the stuff was OK. Really, the only bad thing that they could tell me at the 16w elective scan is that the heart stopped (they can't/won't check anything else medical). So, right before our appt, I checked the hb via the doppler.

    While I was excited to find out the sex of the baby, my main point of getting the elective was that they WON'T tell you anything medical. I wanted a "fun" ultrasound...one where DH and I could just relax and focus on watching the baby. All medical ultrasounds for me are not "fun". I hold my breath, waiting for the anvil to fall. An, I've been one of those who received "your baby has a fatal condition" at an ultrasound.

    Not to mention, at the medical ultrasounds the main point (duh) is checking the health the baby. So, they pause the screen, measure, pause, measure, pause, measure. I really can't just "watch the baby" move and do its thing. The elective lets you do that. You control the speed of te ultrasound. If you don't want them to pause, ask. If you want them to pause, tell them.

    If the elective 16w us was my first one....I probably wouldn't feel comfortable.

    You make a lot of good points and I appreciate your perspective!  

    Prolactinoma, Hypothyroidism, PCOS m/c 8-19-08 @ 9wks 3d
    "And where was I before the day that I first saw your lovely face? Now I see it everyday and I know that I am the luckiest."
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