Parenting

What advice would you give your 4 year old in this situation?

So on Friday night DS was telling me about his day.  Among other things he told me that when they were playing at the play ground "Alex, Zachory, and Marco were digging a hole and I wanted to play with him, but they told me no."  I asked him what he did and he told me he went to play with one of the little girls in his class instead. He has mentioned one other time being left out by at least one of these boys.  But he also mentions playing with them at other times.

He didn't seem particularly upset by it,maybe a little sad, but mostly just matter of fact.  And, he wasn't left to play by himself, he moved on to play with someone else.  But, DH and I were talking about it afterwards and we were both stumped.  Not sure what, if any advice to give him to help him in similar situations in the future.

Any thoughts?  thanks.

Susie, mom to DS 4/10/07 and DD 3/6/09 (MC 9/05, 2/06) Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

Re: What advice would you give your 4 year old in this situation?

  • I'd just leave it alone, unless he was upset about it.  I'm sure there will be more moments like this (for all out kids!), and until he makes a big deal out of it and is really upset/mad/sad about it, I'd just let it go. 

     

  • I would just tell my son to find someone else who wants to play, they don't sound like good friends if they don't want to play with you.
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  • I'd probably just tell him that its good to find another friend to play with, and remind him that he should include all his friends when they want to play with him.
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    Annelise 3.22.2007 Norah 10.24.2009 Amelia 8.7.2011
  • 4 is when this started for dd's prek class. the teacher warned us at the start of the year... they form cliques, will leave people out.  dd's class was pretty good. no one was excluded routinely. but there are days that kids don't want to play with another child. I just told dd to remember how it feels when someone excludes her and to try to be a friend to everyone in her class. her teacher said everyone loves her.  but I know there where times when kids didn't want to play with her .. a lot of boys vs girls last year... and then there were 2 girl cliques it seemed.  same 2 girls were kind of nasty to the rest and I know my dd talked of 2 different girls routinely. they were her bffs and stuck together away from the other 2 girls (there were other girls in her class too though)... but other days they'd play with dd.  it's just kids figuring out this whole relationship thing and their independence in it all.  unless it's a regular thing or dc is being bullied or dc is bullying, I'd probably drop it.  tell him it's good that he could walk away and find a friend to play with.   encourage him to be kind.  if it's a huge problem, talk to the teacher. 
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