might send dog away--i am a wreck — The Bump
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might send dog away--i am a wreck

we have an incredibly sweet, loving, affectionate, devoted dog who also has aggression issues. he was abused before we adopted him and occasionally exhibits very unpredictable aggression towards strangers. (has never bitten anyone, but has tried to a couple of times.) over the last year we have spent about $1000 on expert behaviorists and trainers and have worked very hard to make him safe around the baby. this week he showed aggression towards the baby for the first time--a snarl and a bark, fortunately no bite. the behaviorist and trainer think we should consider getting rid of him, and my husband's parents would probably adopt him and take good care of him. i am increasingly thinking that this is the best thing to do, but i am heartbroken at the idea of saying goodbye to him and putting him through a change of homes when he is so attached to DH and i.

right now DH is unwilling to get rid of him. i've asked him to keep an open mind and i'm going to drop it for a few weeks and let him get used to the idea. in a few weeks, if i haven't changed my mind, i will try to convince him that we should send the dog away.

i am a basketcase. please send thoughts and prayers for my doggy, that he'll be happy whatever happens, and of course thoughts and prayers for my son to be safe. 

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Re: might send dog away--i am a wreck


  • Lots of thoughts and prayers for you.  I'm not sure how much you have pursued pharmacologically, but if you ever want to talk about meds, you can email me at jendusk at yahoo dot com.    
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  • image dusk42:

    Lots of thoughts and prayers for you.  I'm not sure how much you have pursued pharmacologically, but if you ever want to talk about meds, you can email me at jendusk at yahoo dot com.    

    we have tried that too. he is on reconcile and sometimes on clonodine. it helps, but apparently it doesn't help enough. =( 

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  • I'm so sorry.  Safety is really not something you can compromise on-- and unfortunately, while our cats "tolerate" G more than they used to-- they are also more afraid of her since she can get closer to getting them-- so think with a dog it could get worse.

    I hope you can come up with some way to keep him, but if not I think it is great that you have a safe place for him to go.  Hang in there!!

    Susan

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  • image perry7285:
    image dusk42:

    Lots of thoughts and prayers for you.  I'm not sure how much you have pursued pharmacologically, but if you ever want to talk about meds, you can email me at jendusk at yahoo dot com.    

    we have tried that too. he is on reconcile and sometimes on clonodine. it helps, but apparently it doesn't help enough. =( 

    Fancy had to increase her prozac dose and add trazadone to even her out to a functional level.  However, when her prozac first started losing efficacy, we tried to switch to clomipramine.  It didn't work for Fancy, but it has worked for a lot of others.  MrsOjoButtons is starting her dog on buspar in addition to his usual amitriptylline.  I would try a few more meds while you are discussing this with your H.  

    Also, if the reconcile costs more than $4 a month, ask your vet to write you a script for fluoxetine and fill it at Target.   

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  • image dusk42:
    image perry7285:
    image dusk42:

    Lots of thoughts and prayers for you.  I'm not sure how much you have pursued pharmacologically, but if you ever want to talk about meds, you can email me at jendusk at yahoo dot com.    

    we have tried that too. he is on reconcile and sometimes on clonodine. it helps, but apparently it doesn't help enough. =( 

    Fancy had to increase her prozac dose and add trazadone to even her out to a functional level.  However, when her prozac first started losing efficacy, we tried to switch to clomipramine.  It didn't work for Fancy, but it has worked for a lot of others.  MrsOjoButtons is starting her dog on buspar in addition to his usual amitriptylline.  I would try a few more meds while you are discussing this with your H.  

    Also, if the reconcile costs more than $4 a month, ask your vet to write you a script for fluoxetine and fill it at Target.   

    This.   My heart goes out to you.  I would be crushed if any of my dogs were demonstrating aggression toward my children.  I am a big dog lover and also see them as members of my family.  I would keep working to find a combination of meds that work.  The fact that DH's parents are willing to take the dog sounds like a really great solution.  You would still get to see him and know that he is happy and well cared for.   I think dh's parents would also appreciate if you were able to identify a combination of meds that works for the dog before he goes to live with them.

  • image SS091506:
     I think dh's parents would also appreciate if you were able to identify a combination of meds that works for the dog before he goes to live with them.

    I agree with this - you have a lot of knowledge of what works and doesn't and are more in tune with his behavior to know if a drug is working or not.  It's hard for people to pick up all the info at once and try to keep working on it.  

    Hugs and good luck. 

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  • just an idea, but one of our dogs snapped at DS right around the same age your LO is. i freaked out and thought we had to get rid of her. she had never shown any aggression before, so we called a trainer in. she said that dogs have a hard time with babies right at the time they start being mobile. apparently they see them as puppies and find it their job to discipline them. we gave our pup some space until she got used to DS moving and now they're fine. 

    good luck with everything!  

  • I'm sorry you are having to think about doing this:(  I can only imagine who hard this must be on you:( I worried about Isabel being allergic to the dogs before she was born and having to place them somewhere else.  I'm glad your in-laws would possibly take him, hopefully that would make it a little, tiny bit easier, knowing for sure your dog is in good hands.

    My friend had to do this a few months ago, it was an open adoption, they send her updates and pics! 

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  • We had to do this almost 2 years ago. We had a boxer pit mix who had a TON of energy, and when riled up, he would be "playfully" aggressive toward the babies. It was not safe. Henry was not a mean dog, but he needed to be where his needs could be met, and we were not able to do so. 

    He is now down the street, with a single woman and another dog, and VERY happy! It is nice to see him every once in a while, and we know we made the right decision! 

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