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Stuck in a depressed rut - apologies for the rant.

bluefish63bluefish63
in Infertility

Ugh. I am having the worst time today. It's like...I think I'm okay and then the enormity of two failed cycles comes crashing down again and I feel like there's a brick wall on my chest. I get myself so worked up that I can't even breathe. Today is my cousin's engagement party and I know I have to go. It's important. but right now, I can't even find the energy or ambition to get off the couch. That's all I seem to be doing these days when I'm not working or going to the gym or cleaning the house. I just lay on the couch. It doesn't help that AF was AWFUL after this failed cycle. She went away and then came back yesterday and here I am bleeding again. Like, SERIOUSLY?! I'm going to need a transfusion for god's sake. (sorry for the TMI.) I have been having horrible headaches too and I have no idea where they are coming from. Maybe a Skinnygirl margarita will help?

Me: 31, Dx: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea, Elevated AMH of 18 DH: 34 & borderline morphology issues IUI#1/cycle with Menopur & Novarel = Mild OHSS & BFN IUI#2/cycle with Menopur & Novarel = BFN IVF#1 converted to FET due to moderate OHSS 21 eggs retrieved, 12 mature, 11 fertilized 7 frosties, 6 genetically normal December 5th FET with one perfect blast = BFN FET #2 = early February
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Re: Stuck in a depressed rut - apologies for the rant.

  • NMscubagirlNMscubagirl member

    Hope it helps!! ((HUGE HUGS)) IF SUCKS!!!

    image

    imageimage

    Dx: DH - Azoo, Me - Mild PCOS
    DH - sperm found! Seems to produce only for a few days every 70 days!
    Over 1 million in cryo in 15 vials over 6 samples
    IVF #1 - 1 beautiful expanded blast transferred, 4 snowbabies - beta #1 11/30/11 = BFFN
    FET #1, transfered 2 embies 2/16/12 = BFFN; 1 snowbaby left in cryo
    IVF #2 + CGH = 4 genetically normal embies on ice. FET September 26th
    SAIF/PAIF always welcome

    a special GL and prayers to my IF sister Gregermis

    image
    check out my blog!

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  • bluefish63bluefish63
    Thanks! Me too! To make matters worse, I have the more grossly inappropriate wrapping paper for the engagement gift. Leftover christmas paper that doesn't exactly scream "christmas" but definitely doesn't say "engagement" either. How embarassing.
    Me: 31, Dx: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea, Elevated AMH of 18 DH: 34 & borderline morphology issues IUI#1/cycle with Menopur & Novarel = Mild OHSS & BFN IUI#2/cycle with Menopur & Novarel = BFN IVF#1 converted to FET due to moderate OHSS 21 eggs retrieved, 12 mature, 11 fertilized 7 frosties, 6 genetically normal December 5th FET with one perfect blast = BFN FET #2 = early February
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  • tootlebugtootlebug member
    how about a full calorie margarita with a side of ice cream?
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  • elisem42elisem42
    feel better:(   i understand the couch thing....and i love bethenny so have her skinnygirl margarita...yum...i have a bottle in my house so i may have some later....if you ever want to chat email me! 
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  • MrkyrainMrkyrain
    Hugs.  I totally understand the couch thing too. 
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  • Mrs.McIrishMrs.McIrish member
    I know about the couch too. Good for you for going to the gym. I haven't been in months...lots of months!!

    TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
    DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
    5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
    OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
    DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
    DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
    CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
    DE IVF #3 1/14  ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d

    DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
    First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!

    K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days

    imageimage

    SAIF/PAIF Welcome


    http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com

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  • kzawislkzawisl member

    imagetootlebug:
    how about a full calorie margarita with a side of ice cream?

     My thoughts exactly.  I am sorry you are having a rough time.  Rant all you want; that's what we're here for.  ((hugs))

    Me: 30, Dx Unexplained/hypothalamic amenorrhea
    DH: 31, normal!
    April/May 2011: Menopur + Ovidrel +TI = BFN
    Oct 2011: Menopur + Hcg +IUI = BFP!
    Beta #1 (13dpiui)= 129.7, Beta #2 (15 dpiui)= 305
    PAIF/SAIF always welcome!
    My Blog


    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
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  • madhatterxomadhatterxo member
    I'm so sorry.  I know exactly how you feel.  I was just so depressed thinking about everything that has gone wrong IF related.  I think talking about it helps and indulging in food and drinks wouldn't hurt.  I made an appointment for acupuncture to see if that'll do something.  Dr. B recommended someone they use in Lincroft.  I hope you feel better soon.
    Me: 27, DH: 28 TTC since 11/09
    2/10 & 3/10 Clomid 50mg-BFN
    5/10-Lap Surgery for Stage 2 Endo
    3/11-IUI#1 with Follistim and Menopur-developed mild OHSS= BFN
    6/11-IUI#2 with Follistim -developed moderate OHSS= BFN!
    7/11-FSH-11, AMH 1.6
    9/11-ttc naturally with positive thoughts :)
    10/6/11-POSITIVE pregnancy test!!! 15dpo BETA-220
    6/14/2012- Riley Harper arrived!! We love our little girl
    <a href="http://s532.photobucket.com/albums/ee324/exploshidad/?action=view
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  • MrsOjoButtonsMrsOjoButtons member
    I'm sorry. You're not alone. None of this is fair.
    Twin boys due 7/25/12
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