Babies: 9 - 12 Months
CurtsWife
member
Discipline for a 10 month old
CurtsWife
member
My first baby is 10 months old (2nd one on the way!) and we have two major problems right now:
- screaming at the top of her lungs for no apparent reason
- continuing a bad behavior when I tell her no, until I get up to go to her then she falls on her butt giggling
I know she is just starting to understand language, but I do sense that she knows when I do not want her to do something. She always turns around and gives me the biggest grin when she knows she is in trouble. I know I have to be consistent with her, but this 2nd pregnancy is kicking my butt and I am getting way more frustrated with her than I should. The round ligament pain always seems to kick in right when I need to stop a behavior.
What tricks have you found to help your baby understand what is acceptable?
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Re: Discipline for a 10 month old
You cant really "discipline" at that age. I dont even discipline my 19 month old for screeching-it's just normal behavior at that age. Plus, ignoring it is a lot more effective than telling him no and enticing him to do it more. She is continuing the behavior because she's getting your attention and she likes it. My son found the word "no" to be the funniest thing ever, so we dont use it.
Make her play area safe so she cant get into anything that could hurt her. When she's doing something you'd rather her not do, ignore the behavior. She's learned that certain things get her attention, so of course she's going to keep doing it. Don't give her the attention. When she's behaving well, praise the crap out of her. Make a big deal about the good behavior and you'll find she'd rather behave well and get positive attention than behave poorly and get no attention.
ITA. 10 month olds are going to screech and make noise. They aren't doing it to disobey, they are just learning how to use their voice.
You have many, many years in front of you that you can use to teach your children right from wrong. I wouldn't worry about trying to discipline a baby.
Thanks for the responses. Perhaps "discipline" may not have been the word I was looking for - I'm not looking to spank my baby or put her in time out or anything like that. But I don't think it's too early to teach her right from wrong either.
I agree that there are times when it is perfectly fine to ignore an unwanted behavior, but there are also times when you need to let a child know that she cannot do something - especially when it is something dangerous. You cannot ignore an unwanted behavior that could result in injury to the child. But when you try to get her attention and let her know that she needs to stop, and all she can do in response is to fall on her rear giggling and then do the same thing again 2 minutes later, it gets pretty frustrating. I'm just looking for ideas on how to help her understand that I mean business when I instruct her not to do something.
Sorry I wasn't more clear in my original post - I should know better than to write that late at night! Thanks again for the answers!
My take is that if a 10 month old is getting into something "dangerous", than that's the fault of the parent, not the child.
You say it's not too early to teach your child right from wrong, but obviously she is either a) not getting it, or b) willfully disobeying you. My guess is that it's the former.
I was having the same problems! I started trying to teach sign language and it has helped A LOT!
I don't feel that ignoring her will help. PPs say that it's helpful to praise her for positive behaviors and ignore the bad, but that may teach her that she can get away with things that bother you, and then where do you draw the line? She's still bothering you.
I think that if she's doing something you don't want her to do, show her the sign for no, make a stern face when you tell her not to do it again, and if she does it again remove her from where she is. If it's the screaming that you want her to stop, perhaps signing will help her show you want she wants. It's really helped us. DD has learned the signs for more, eat, milk, and no. It's been great in re-enforcing what we say. We didn't start signing until about 8 months old and she picked up on it in a week. I used to scoff at people who suggested teaching signing to a baby, but it's stopped her from screaming at me. I generally tell her to show me what she wants with her hands and she gives me the appropriate sign.
Our first family photo!
Francesca Pearl is here! Josephine Hope is almost 3!
What works best for me is simply redirecting. i.e. If my 10 month old is reaching for the TV, I move him to a different part of the room and just nicely say something like "let's play over here with your toys." Their job at 10 months is to explore and learn about themselves and the world around them. So they are going to experiment w/their voices and get into things they shoud not necessarily get into. With both my kids I reserve "No" for seroius situations, like running into the street. That way it does not lose its effectiveness. Works like a charm for me.
Get a plastic guard or something so he can't reach the power button. Everytime you see him go for the TV, distract him with something else so he's not tempted to touch it. Or better yet, let him turn the TV on and off 50 as much as he wants, until the excitement of it wears off and he's not fascinated by it anymore.
But please, stop smacking his hand. He's a baby that thinks it's cool to press a button and turn the TV on and off. It's not even something dangerous that he's doing, you're just annoyed by it.
My DD is doing the SAME thing. The crazy screams at the top of her lungs. Although it's not always for no reason. We have a gate between her play area and the kitchen, so when I am 6 feet away from her cooking and she is behind the gate, she screams at me. I tell her mommy has to feed your sissy, or you ate now mommy has to eat too. I try to explain what I am doing.
As for the No thing and her grinning, oh man she is a stinker. If I try to say no nicely, she giggles and keeps doing it. If I say no sternly, she cries because she knows I am mad. But when she is headed for the plugs is usually the only time I get stern. We have outlet covers in all ones she can reach except one that actually has a fan plugged in, but of course she can pull that out, and she gets really upset when I take her away from it. I too try the "give her something else" to take attention away, but it doesn't always work anymore as her memory gets better.
Lastly, I know it maynot be a great solution, but sometimes when she does the top of her lungs scream, I scream back. Not loud like her but then she starts laughing and stops screaming most of the time. And I get a nice giggle too.
I felt horrible, but I swatted LO's butt the other day. It wasn't hard and he barely noticed it. It was right after he chomped down on my shoulder with his new top teeth (they came in at the same time) and it hurt like hell!
How are you trying to get her attention?
Here's what I would do: Walk over to her, grab her and say "No no, baby, here look at THIS" and hand her some other toy.
That's it.
Finally I would say that if that behavior is pretty frustrating to you, you've got a long road ahead of you. Under age 1, children don't even know what boundaries are. 1-3 is full of discovering boundaries. 3-4 is full of intentionally testing boundaries. 5 is full of testing boundaries on purpose and then trying to exert their independence.
If you're frustrated now, just take a deep breath and redirect. It's all you can do.
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Seriously people. Please don't smack your 10 month old child's hand or behind or any part of their body in an attempt to discipline.
LO loves anything that he shouldn't be playing with. I just keep those things out of reach/eyesight. When I cannot do that, I have a toy bin nearby and rotate out what toys/activities I use to redirect him/distract him. If he does something such as pull my hair, I yelp (cuz that shiz hurts!) then I tell him it hurts, then I redirect him by giving him something to hold on to.