Vent(ish): I need advice for how to be happy for someone...

Jess.O

Long story short:

My mom just told me to look for a weekend where I can come visit her because she's getting married.  She's been with this guy about 2 months.  Before that, she lived with her boyfriend of maybe 5 years.  Before that, series of long term bfs that would move in, she'd pressure for married, they'd never get married.  The guys were all worthless, mean, alcoholics that she didn't really like she just didn't want to be alone. She ran into a friend she knew from high school.  She almost immediately moved in with him and broke up with ex-bf.  Now, he wants them to get married asap and I guess they've decided to. 

I'm trying really hard to be happy for her but it's really hard for me to.  Come on, they've been together 2 months and before that she was still with her ex? 

So, how can I stop being judgmental and be happy for her?  (And not feel like I have to scramble to make a trip across TX when we don't have the $ or time to do so.)

userdeleted

I have no advice, just sympathy. My mom pulled something similar with me a few years ago. I didn't go.

angelaggie

Not sure if or how you could be happy for her. But, you could just support her decision and be there for her if it goes down hill. Sounds like she has a lot of issues. I'm sorry.

Taytee

You don't have to be happy for her.

It's not something to be happ about.

You only have to tolerate it because she's an adult!

And you certainly don't have to bustass to make it to a celebration you will not be celebrating at.

userdeleted

Taytee:

You don't have to be happy for her.

It's not something to be happ about.

You only have to tolerate it because she's an adult!

And you certainly don't have to bustass to make it to a celebration you will not be celebrating at.

 

Jess.O

Thanks for the support and for not telling me I'm just being a brat. 

When I asked why they're in such a rush, her reply was "Well, he's nervous because I always gets engaged and don't get married and I could certainly do worse. I do really like him."  Way to go mom, good reasons to get married.

2H2L

Rach03k:

I have no advice, just sympathy. My mom pulled something similar with me a few years ago. I didn't go.

Me too. (((hugs)))

YellowUmbrella

Jess.O:

When I asked why they're in such a rush, her reply was "Well, he's nervous because I always gets engaged and don't get married and I could certainly do worse. I do really like him."  Way to go mom, good reasons to get married.

That makes me really sad. I don't really have any advice for you, but good luck in striking a balance with her.

SareBear30

YellowUmbrella:

Jess.O:

When I asked why they're in such a rush, her reply was "Well, he's nervous because I always gets engaged and don't get married and I could certainly do worse. I do really like him."  Way to go mom, good reasons to get married.

That makes me really sad. I don't really have any advice for you, but good luck in striking a balance with her.

Ditto. It also is a red flag to me. I mean, why is he trying to lock her down so quickly? If it's meant to be, they will still be together. If not, as it sounds like it wasn't with the other guys, then it's better not to rush.

Sucky situation. I like Taytee's summary too.

Jess.O

SareBear30:

Ditto. It also is a red flag to me. I mean, why is he trying to lock her down so quickly? If it's meant to be, they will still be together. If not, as it sounds like it wasn't with the other guys, then it's better not to rush.

Sucky situation. I like Taytee's summary too.

I know...it's strange.  My sister just told me they bought the marriage license.  She and my mom are fighting about it now.  I'm just going to stay out of it and stay here where it's nice and calm.  (Keep repeating that to myself.)