anyone here with a SO/DH close to or over 50?

dollhouse

My SO is older than me. By the time we get married and TTC I will be 35 and my SO will be 50. I am worried about complications due to our ages. Would his age be a factor?

Also I hear a lot of people say why would he want to have a child after 50 but we didn't meet each other until later in life and well here we are.

Any words of encourgements?

Thanks.

lindaeverly

My DH will be 45 in November, so he's not quite there yet.  His age may be a factor for him, but you won't know for sure unless you do a semen analysis (SA).  Out of all of the fertility tests that can be done, a SA is the easiest.  Well for us ladies at least.  The guys may not think that making a donation in a plastic cup is all that easy, but compared to the testing that a woman has to go through to test fertility, it's a breeze! 

As far as people asking why he would want a child at 50, who cares about those people!  Nobody has the right to judge anyone for wanting to become a parent at a late age.  A friend of ours started having his children later in life & says that he is thankful for waiting because he has the patience & knowledge needed now that he didn't have when he was younger.  As long as you & DH are on the same page, that's all that matters!

When will you be getting married?  I'm sure that you're excited to get married & get the whole TTC process underway.  I have learned a lot from the wonderful women on this board & hopefully you will too!

dollhouse

Thank you! We are hoping to get married in April 2012!

lindaeverly

Very nice!  Good luck!!!

MrsJordanalmond

dh will be 52 in september ... was 48 when we conceived our DS, and 51 for this critter.  his junk is just fine.

MrsJordanalmond

oh, and dh and i never really wanted kids until we met and got married, and we were both 'older' by then.

i can say that as an older dad, he has a few advantages

1) patience

2) since he spent his 20-30-40 killing himself in his career, he has earned the ability to take a step back and is able to enjoy the time with his child without worrying about climbing the ladder

3) more financial and social resource

4) has been there/done that ... knows he isn't missing anything by staying home all weekend with his kid

i could go on and on ... there are pros and cons to having kids at any age ... i'm not sure i get why people care so much about what other people do??? whatevs ... enjoy.

lmydogally

MrsJordanalmond:

oh, and dh and i never really wanted kids until we met and got married, and we were both 'older' by then.

i can say that as an older dad, he has a few advantages

1) patience

2) since he spent his 20-30-40 killing himself in his career, he has earned the ability to take a step back and is able to enjoy the time with his child without worrying about climbing the ladder

3) more financial and social resource

4) has been there/done that ... knows he isn't missing anything by staying home all weekend with his kid

i could go on and on ... there are pros and cons to having kids at any age ... i'm not sure i get why people care so much about what other people do??? whatevs ... enjoy.

ITA!  My H will be 48 when these babies are born.  

lindaeverly

Hi lmydogally!  I was thinking about you this week & was wondering how you're doing.  I hope that the twins are progressing good & that you're having an easy pregnancy!

lhcooper

My DH is 52; we started TTC'ing when he was 50.  His stuff is fine -- I'm the problem. 

boymamaco

lhcooper:

My DH is 52; we started TTC'ing when he was 50.  His stuff is fine -- I'm the problem. 

Don't say that! No one is "the problem". But I don't have to tell you that. Sending you big hugs Coop!

lhcooper

Thanks, lucyspeople! But to the original poster:  I forgot to add that DH gets worried b/c he's read the articles out there that connect older fathers and children with autism, older fathers and children with schizophrenia, etc.  But I think he's overdoing it, the data are NOT clear on this front, and I'm not worried about it, or no more than I would be about a child of mine having either problem just in the general scheme of things.  We even talked about using a sperm donor if we go ahead with an egg donor--he suggested it--and I put my foot down and said no.