Babies: 9 - 12 Months

Thanks DH. Not funny for me.

I work full time as a nurse practitioner.  DH works part time as a teacher's aide. He is with DD more than me.  I have had a hard time adjusting to this, but I make four times what he does, and I carry our benefits. 

DH is with her all summer and takes her to the pool all the time.  Today a kid came up to him and Ella and asked "Does your baby have a mommy?"   When DH told me this I just started crying.  I wish he didn't tell me this!  DH thought it was funny, but he knows I have a hard time with working full time, and being away from Ella so much.  Working just sucks sometimes.


Ella - 10/19/10
Julia and Aubrey - 4/3/14


Re: Thanks DH. Not funny for me.

  • Rach21Rach21 member

    You might have flowers waiting for you when you get home.

    What was your DH thinking?!?! 

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    TTC #2: My chart
  • : (

    That would break my heart too.

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  • I think you're overreacting.  There are plenty of families in which both parents work and their LOs are with someone else.  Be thankful that your DH can spend so much time your DD. 
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  • I totally know how you feel.  I think 99.9% of us working mommies wish we could spend more time with our LOs.  We feel such a connection to our LOs that the distance is palpable when we're away.

    But look at it this way - you ARE taking care of your LO, even when you're at work!  It's your job that helps her live the life she lives - you're the main "breadwinner" of the family..,and your hubby is the SAHD.  I know it's not the same as being home with her, but I remind myself of that when I'm feeling sad/guilty/whatever. 

    And as PP said, it could be worse!  I feel bad a lot because DH is home all day, but can't take care of DS - he's disabled.  So even though my hubby is home and would love to spend all day with our little man, DS goes to daycare because DH just can't keep up with a little baby for more than an hour, two max.

    ::hugs::  I know where you're coming from, but just remind yourself it could be much worse!  Easier said than done, I know.

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  • Rach21Rach21 member

    imageanimalcrckr:
    I think you're overreacting.  There are plenty of families in which both parents work and their LOs are with someone else.  Be thankful that your DH can spend so much time your DD. 

    Umm, I'd overreact too if someone asked my DH if our child had a mom. It's not even my LO and that made me gasp at work. She's not ungrateful for her DH being with DD, he should have just kept that ridiculously uncouth comment to himself.

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    TTC #2: My chart
  • imageanimalcrckr:
    I think you're overreacting.  There are plenty of families in which both parents work and their LOs are with someone else.  Be thankful that your DH can spend so much time your DD. 

    She wasn't saying she was ungrateful for her husband being with DD all the time, but telling her what the little kid asked is like rubbing salt in the wound.  I would be pretty hurt, too.

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  • imageTXBaby2:

    I totally know how you feel.  I think 99.9% of us working mommies wish we could spend more time with our LOs.  We feel such a connection to our LOs that the distance is palpable when we're away.

    But look at it this way - you ARE taking care of your LO, even when you're at work!  It's your job that helps her live the life she lives - you're the main "breadwinner" of the family..,and your hubby is the SAHD.  I know it's not the same as being home with her, but I remind myself of that when I'm feeling sad/guilty/whatever. 

    And as PP said, it could be worse!  I feel bad a lot because DH is home all day, but can't take care of DS - he's disabled.  So even though my hubby is home and would love to spend all day with our little man, DS goes to daycare because DH just can't keep up with a little baby for more than an hour, two max.

    ::hugs::  I know where you're coming from, but just remind yourself it could be much worse!  Easier said than done, I know.

    Quoting my previous comment here for background: 

    And yeah, I should add that I agree your DH should have kept his yapper shut.  Salt in wound, for sure.  There's lots of things I don't tell my DH because I know it would hurt his feelings (some people feel the need to question how much his disability really should keep him from taking care of DS - and they should shove it, in my book).  I don't tell him because I care.  I'm guessing your DH didn't even think of it that way (men tend to do stuff like that)....but I hope he learns his lesson for next time.

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  • imageRach21:

    imageanimalcrckr:
    I think you're overreacting.  There are plenty of families in which both parents work and their LOs are with someone else.  Be thankful that your DH can spend so much time your DD. 

    Umm, I'd overreact too if someone asked my DH if our child had a mom. It's not even my LO and that made me gasp at work. She's not ungrateful for her DH being with DD, he should have just kept that ridiculously uncouth comment to himself.

    I wouldn't overreact becuase it was a kid that asked and they don't understand  I would have laughed and then maybe explained to the kid that mommy is at work during the day and daddy is off this summer like the kids are because he works at a school.  When we got custody of my SD my H went to a lot of her things and picked her up because he was off earlier then me and a few days during the week and the kids would ask why she doesn't live with her mom etc. 

  • Rach21Rach21 member
    imageangelame1979:
    imageRach21:

    imageanimalcrckr:
    I think you're overreacting.  There are plenty of families in which both parents work and their LOs are with someone else.  Be thankful that your DH can spend so much time your DD. 

    Umm, I'd overreact too if someone asked my DH if our child had a mom. It's not even my LO and that made me gasp at work. She's not ungrateful for her DH being with DD, he should have just kept that ridiculously uncouth comment to himself.

    I wouldn't overreact becuase it was a kid that asked and they don't understand  I would have laughed and then maybe explained to the kid that mommy is at work during the day and daddy is off this summer like the kids are because he works at a school.  When we got custody of my SD my H went to a lot of her things and picked her up because he was off earlier then me and a few days during the week and the kids would ask why she doesn't live with her mom etc. 

    FWIW, tears =/= overreaction. Screaming, throwing things, stomping feet (or kicking DH in the nads) would be overreacting. It's not overreacting to have an emotional response to something she can't change, innocent comment or not. 

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    TTC #2: My chart
  • A lot of other families do have the same situation. BUT that was definitely unnecessary of DH. Insensitive much? That would break my heart to hear too but don't let it get you down. You need to do what is best for your family. You're an awesome mommy!
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