We have been having a rough couple of days with my LO. Yesterday night it hit a peak when DS wouldn't go to bed and some where around 245 I reconverted his toddler bed back to a crib...anywhoo. I was venting to my mom and sister via 3 way calling about DH not proactivly helping out during the epic fail of the attempted transition to a toddler bed. My mom just called me and said she thinks im inventing reasons to not have another child because im scared of going in to PTL again and having another preemie. My son was born 27wks 3days and spent 10 weeks in the NICU. She said that she understands that I have a do have a real bone to pick but that its just a communiacation issue and it can be worked out. It took me by surpise because my mother and my DH really don't get along. After some real soul searching I guess I agree with her ( and thats a first! LOL ). I kinda feel bad about the whole thing now because I was SO ready to tell DH that I was in no way going to try for another and my reason I was going to cite was the lack of help I got yesterday and the day before. Have any of you ladies done anything like this before? and if so how and the hell do you stop the irrational side of yourself from taking over the rational right side of your brain...I need to put in some fail safes so I don't single handedly end my marriage just out of fear.
I know this is kinda weird but I also had very bad PTSD from nearly loseing my life in 06 and coupled with the trauma of my sons early arrival. I tend to shut down and withdrawl emotionally. I usually shut down and walk away. Even though I have been getting better, now that we are actually planning #2 I think the PTSD is getting worse. I see a thearpist but it obvously isn't helping when i get emotionally overwhelmed/scared. Any advice would be helpful because I tend to think in my own head alot and I need some other (nice) voices to mull over but my own.