Need advice- seeing ex-FI's mother tonight (with update)

Snickerdoodle11611

I've written before about my FI calling off our wedding and leaving me pregnant less than a month before, on top of which asking for me to be "responsible" and have an abortion.  I kept the baby, since then he's come in and out of my life with no real commitment and its apparent that I am doing this all by myself here. 

 His mother is in town and this morning he texted me that she wanted the three of us to go out to dinner.  I declined, but offered that if she wanted to see me she could stop by and we could get together just the two of us.  I don't want us to pretend that we're some "happy family" here going out to dinner and I honestly don't know what he's said to her.  In the past I have heard nothing from her. 

To make a long story short, she is coming by after work and I honestly don't know what to talk to her about.  Should I tell her all the things her son has done and how I feel?  Or do we just keep it to small talk?  Please help me with any advice you might have!

PrettyInPearls23

I would keep it to small talk. If she wants to bring up things about you and your XFI, she will...just follow her lead. Remember that your XFI is her son and she probably has already heard his side of the story several times. You can tell her your side of the story, but try not to bash her son too much. She'll be much more receptive (I hope) of your version if you stay calm about everything.

htomeo

PrettyInPearls23:

I would keep it to small talk. If she wants to bring up things about you and your XFI, she will...just follow her lead. Remember that your XFI is her son and she probably has already heard his side of the story several times. You can tell her your side of the story, but try not to bash her son too much. She'll be much more receptive (I hope) of your version if you stay calm about everything.

All of this. Be the adult in the situation, and take the high road. Keep things light, and only put it out there if she directly asks. If she thinks you are only bashing her son, she may close up and get defensive, not listening to a word you are saying. 

JCGreene85

what the above posters say. Please come back and update us and good luck

Snickerdoodle11611

Thanks for your advice ladies!  I did follow it and kept it to the small talk, but she did also bring up what had happened with her son and I.  I think she was sad about the situation too.  She asked about what I was going to name the baby and I decided to let her know that I was going to give him my last name.  She didn't argue with me, she just kind of stopped talking for a few minutes and we were both quiet, then she said she understood.  I feel like it was good for the two of us to be alone and hope that we can have a good/civil relationship once the baby is here.