Moms - Parenting Poll

ctbride08

Kind of a spin-off from yesterday's QOTD.  Feel free to elaborate below - or not.

I'm also curious to hear if your number surprises you (ie: its been easy/hard and you expected it to be easy/hard or if you expected it to be one way and its been more in the other direction that you anticipated).  If you care to share

[Poll]

Two*True

If there had been an option I would have been a special snowflake I would have choosen that one:-p

Well for 12 of the 15 months DD has been alive I've essentially been a single parent when it comes to the day to day routine.  In the sense of not having to compromise with anyone it's been extrememly easy.

However thinking back to the first three months and the handful of times DW came home for weekends, it was harder than I expected.  Mostly because I had set up high expectation, not because DW wasn't holding up her end.  Once I figured out what was reasonable to expect things felt easier.

 

ctbride08

Two - I was thinking about an SS for you but decided that just because your version of co-parenting is different from many, it doesnt make it any less valid.  so i'm glad you voted  

I voted a 4, but really I'd say its more like a 3.5. And it continues to surprise me that its not easier. DW and I worked together with kids for 5+ years before getting married and it always came so naturally - we learned a lot from each other and our styles complimented well. But there seems to be a lot more clashing these days. Part of it is the immense amount of stress we've been under the past year and a half that we've been parenting and part of it is that we are different parents than we were camp counselors/babysitters/teachers, ect.

milwjean

ctbride08:

Part of it is the immense amount of stress we've been under the past year and a half that we've been parenting and part of it is that we are different parents than we were camp counselors/babysitters/teachers, ect.

I told a friend once I think this has been one of the hardest parts of our overall relationship.  We can't be our "camp/summer selves" (or 'best self') all the time.  

Thanks for your honesty about this. I think it makes it easier for everyone (me!) to have realistic expectations.  We all think we are above some kind of parenting struggles, but no one is.  

nevr2amazin

I voted 3 because C and I do have 2 separate parenting styles. The reason I didn't vote higher than 3 is because I think C knows that I acknowledge I have some (non-disciplinary) learning to do. I think this helps her patience with me.With that said, C and I do bump heads on occasion and it makes for quite a frustrating time.

The good part in all of this...the Kiddos are at their happiest when C and I are both around (i.e. in the room with them). I would like to believe that this means we are doing most things right by them. (Either that or they think we are on our "nicest" behavior when in view of each other...LOL!)

2brides

I voted 2.  I think we are pretty in synch when it comes to parenting. Our general philosophies are similar and typically the things we disagree about, she is right and it my laziness (ie. me allowing the kids to watch more tv that she does.)   But it they aren't huge discrepancies (like I let them watch one more show...not watch all day.) And she gets them riled up at bedtime which drives me nuts...but it isn't a huge deal in the grand scheme of thing.

Thankfully this is the case since there are enough other things in our relationship that are challenges.

butterflygrooves

I voted 3 although it's more like a 3.5.  I used to be an easygoing and very nurturing parent where J was oldschool and strict.  Since bringing Iz home I've switched roles which has thrown J for a loop.

J and I have recently gotten to a point where we agree on most everything parenting related but we still bump heads. We've had to work hard to get where we are but we are much better communicators now.

CT - Will you remind me of that parenting book you recommended on my blog? J and I are both interested in a new perspective.

ctbride08

butterflygrooves:

CT - Will you remind me of that parenting book you recommended on my blog? J and I are both interested in a new perspective.

I think i had mentioned Unconditional Parenting - its a great book for adjusting the philosophy of parenting.  If you are looking for a more hands-on book with specific techniques to try, I'd go with How to Talk... - I'm currently reading this one for the third time its been great for Sprout...and my sanity!  They've also got a sibling book that I'm excited to read.

Meegs10.13.06

I voted a 3, though I went between that and a 4 a few times.

We try to agree on our parenting styles, but in practice we still have a lot of work to do. I need to be more open to listening to his suggestions, but he really needs to work on his patience. He's so much better then he was a year ago, but he still loses his cool too quickly over things that are frustrating, but not unusual, and really shouldn't get him as angry as they do. 

We'll just keep working on it. 

ctbride08

Meegs10.13.06:

I voted a 3, though I went between that and a 4 a few times.

We try to agree on our parenting styles, but in practice we still have a lot of work to do. I need to be more open to listening to his suggestions, but he really needs to work on his patience. He's so much better then he was a year ago, but he still loses his cool too quickly over things that are frustrating, but not unusual, and really shouldn't get him as angry as they do. 

We'll just keep working on it. 

i can relate to this quite a bit. 

She doesnt have as much patience with the kids (ie: Sprout) as I want her to...and I dont have as much patience with her as she wants me to!

Meegs10.13.06

ctbride08:

Meegs10.13.06:

I voted a 3, though I went between that and a 4 a few times.

We try to agree on our parenting styles, but in practice we still have a lot of work to do. I need to be more open to listening to his suggestions, but he really needs to work on his patience. He's so much better then he was a year ago, but he still loses his cool too quickly over things that are frustrating, but not unusual, and really shouldn't get him as angry as they do. 

We'll just keep working on it. 

i can relate to this quite a bit. 

She doesnt have as much patience with the kids (ie: Sprout) as I want her to...and I dont have as much patience with her as she wants me to!

Exactly!! 

tdmklm

I voted 3, but it's more of a 3.5 for me too. I tend to be too protective of J, and the kid is NOT cautious at all. He just sort of... goes! There are more bumps - head bumps, hands getting caught in things, etc - than I wish there were. K, on the other hand, doesn't pay as much attention as I wish she would. I wish I could be less worried all the time and she could worry a bit more.