Moms with 2 or more kids — The Bump
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Moms with 2 or more kids

OMG! How do you do it? I had the girls all by myself for the majority of the day yesterday for the first time. Sweet little Avery will only sleep during the day if she is held. I'm talking curled up, knocked out, 3 hour nap on you. If you put her down at any point she gets majorly upset. So simple things like making lunch for Hailey or doing something with her results in major freakouts and no sleep from Avery. By the end of the day my nerves were freaking shot and I felt like I was being pulled in every direction possible. How long will it take to get into a good groove or routine? How do I handle having to hold Avery all.day.long? How can I entertain Hailey while doing so?I feel bad for Hailey, although she is handling it ok. I've got a Moby I am getting ready to try for Avery hoping she will like it and free up my hands. Any other advice?
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Re: Moms with 2 or more kids

  • The Moby is your friend :-)  I wore Sophie a lot those first few weeks.  It was the only way to get anything done at all.  I keep telling folks that with #1 it took me 4 weeks to come out of the fog and get into a groove.  But with Sophie it was 8 weeks.  We went to Disney that week and I was terrified of how we would get thru it and honestly, that was the best trip ever just because I finally mastered the skill of having 2 kids and I was so proud of myself!  Maybe it was just timing or maybe that trip was my baptism by fire.  Either way, it's been downhill from there.  Keep going- you'll get there soon!

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  • have you tried the swing?  I've learned that it is OK to use the swing.  they will still learn to sleep on their own in their crib even if you use the swing.  I promise!
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  • amyb05amyb05 member
    Ditto Heather on the swing or any other contraption that she will sleep in! For me, the first 8 weeks were pure survival mode! You arent going to instill any bad habits this young! If the moby doesnt work, I have a mei tai you can borrow! Moby and I were not friends! Be patient with yourself! Before too long this will all be a very new normal!
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  • Over a year in and I am still frazzled....:)

    It does get better.  Isaac wasn't much of a swing baby but he liked the bouncy OK but his all time favorite was the floor.  He just loved his jungle mat or to play on the floor in P's room while I did her stories or whatever.  Sometimes if they are fussing you just have to let them fuss until you can get to them if you are busy and they are safe...in the long run it kinda makes them much more easy going.  I just wish it took me less than a half hour (on a good day) to get the car loaded up to go to the grocery store.

  • Swing and Baby carriers are good options.
    There were times though that Samantha really wanted to be held. I tried to make meals that are not too complicated. Or sometime, one of the kid just cry it out (for a few seconds/minutes) while I am attending to the other.

     

  • I am still struggeling, but the best advice I got was do whatever works and remember you are just trying to survive for the first few months.  Whatever you can do to help the baby sleep is fine (even if its a moby wrap, a swing, bouncy seat that vibrates) you should be able to find something that works.  At 10 weeks I am now finally able to get both kids down for at least 30 minutes at the same time.
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  • For us, colic was the issue and Trevor was constantly nursing as it was the only thing that calmed him. I found I could play some games, Memory, Zingo, Crazy 8 one-handed with Cadence while I nursed. If she wasn't into game playing, I would basically let her turn the house upside down..building trains out of laundry baskets full of toys..whatever would keep her occupied.

    Also, the rocking bassinet worked really well for us. I would get him just about asleep and then put him down ever so gently and rock that thing until he was good and out. Like the others say, this method did no damage and he puts himself to sleep no problem now. The "whatever works" method is really the way to go and it will get so much easier in a few months.

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  • I get frayed sometimes and Ally is 2!  I would try all the contraptions you have swing, bouncy seat, moby etc.  and figure out what she likes.  Ally liked to sleep on her side in the moses basket and john needed to be swaddled day and night to get any sleep. Ally liked being put into just about anything & john hated everything.   If all else fails let her cry for a few minutes while you get something done.   It stinks but its not going to hurt her.  most importantly take a deep breath....it will be fine and you will figure it all out

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  • Hopefully the carrier will work, or you can start easing her into the swing.  Whatever works!  Lauren slept pretty well in this little Moses basket type of thing in the first month or so, it was pretty cozy and I could move it around the house to whatever room we were in.  Also Lauren slept well in her carseat, so we were still pretty free to go out and do the normal stuff the boys liked to do (library, playdates, park in the spring, pool in summer, etc).  She is almost 4 months old now and doesn't sleep a whole lot during the day, but she's pretty chill as long as I hold her while the boys play when we are out and about.  She will also sit in her bouncy now and play with the toys for a long time at home.  Loves her Bjorn, if I turn her inward she falls asleep instantly. 
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  • I felt the same way at the beginning!  I thought "What have I gone and done!  Having one was so easy!"  But like everyone else said just find somehting that works for you and Avery like the bouncy seat (this is what Taylor was normally content in), the swing, wear her, whatever works!  At the beginning I would always say someone was always crying in my house.  Because either Taylor was crying because he was an infant and that's what they do or Caroline was crying because I couldn't do exactly what she wanted me to do and that time.  It will get easier, but right now while she is so tiny just do whatever you need to do to make it through the day. 
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  • In the beginning, I was holding Liam a lot while he slept or ate and Evie was very happy to help me fetch things.  That was during my C recovery and those were the easy days.  But I made time each day, even it if was only for 5 minutes at a time to get on the floor and play something with Evie.  Either color with her or play princesses or trains or just snuggle and watch Curious George with her.  So she didn't feel like she was second important now. 

    It won't be like this forever either. Avery will get used to her schedule, but now she may just need your help getting to sleep.  I hope the moby works for you.  We used the moby and the swing in the beginning.  By the time he was 4 months old, he hated both, but by then, he had a good schedule.

    And now, at 11 months, I can get two kids to nap at the same time pretty much every day.  Which is the most important time of my day.

    Good luck.  None of us had it easy so don't beat yourself up.  Sounds like you're doing a great job.  

  • I could not live without my ring sling. It is so easy to use and Lila falls asleep in it in like 2 seconds.

    Honestly, it is survival. Finn watches more tv than he should, but it won't be this way forever. Don't beat yourself up over anything! 

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  • kepkep member
    It is hard! You will find what works for you all and get into a routine. I am still figuring it out, and Isaac has been home a year. Go easy on yourself and give each other lots of time and grace.
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  • First I want to say, this will get better. The first couple of months were hard for me because Macy was at the point where she just wouldn't take a nap or stay in her room and Molly always needed something (diaper change, nursing, or be held). You just have to do whatever works until the baby adjusts to her new environment. I used the swing for a bit until she got tired of it. Then Molly liked the bassinet so we did that for a bit. The crib was always a big fail for us too! She knew immediately where she was once I laid her down and cry hysterically. Sorry, I wish I had better advice. It is hard having 2 and trying to juggle everyone's needs but it will get better once Avery gets a routine going.


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