Tips for single mom from day 1
Hi all,
I know a few of you have been in this situation: I filed for divorce while pregnant so obviously I have started out being a single mom/parent from day 1 with my DD. I do live with my parents but do basically everything on my own. Our room is downstairs so from 9-10pm until my mom gets home from work at 2-3pm we are definatly on our own.
From those of you who had to start single parenting from day 1 or close to it - how did you get through the first couple months? It is really hard sleeping for only 1-2 hours at a time pretty much around the clock. I have always had issues asking for help anyways, so do I just need to ask for more help from my parents? I know you are supposed to sleep when baby sleeps but then when do you do bottles, laundry, eat? I am really having trouble with balancing the past few days and feel just exhausted.
Tips please!! TIA.
Re: Tips for single mom from day 1
I totally understand what you're dealing with. My mom works 1 1/2hrs away, so I've always been alone with my son from the time she goes to bed (has to get up early) until about 7pm the next night. Only having a few hours of adult interaction is hard.
DO sleep when the baby sleeps. Sleep with the baby, if you're comfortable doing it...makes for easy middle of the night nursing (if you're breastfeeding), and it's comforting to have the baby close.
Do the things you need to do while the baby is awake. Seriously, I know it feels like you have to be holding the baby all the time, but it's okay to have the baby laying on the floor/in a swing/bouncer for as long as it takes to get things done. You can also get a sling and wear the baby while you clean.
Also, the baby can cry for a few minutes while you do something. I remember jumping at the sound of my baby crying...but trust me, as you get more used to being a mom, you'll start to be more comfortable, knowing that there are things that you need to do other than hold the baby.
Everything is so hard with a newborn, I remember feeling like I was sitting in the same spot all day, nursing/burping/rocking/changing diapers. I felt like there was no time for anything else. Right now the most important thing you can be doing is getting as much sleep as possible, and cutting yourself some slack in other areas. It will get easier. Promise.
Hang in there!
This times X1000. It is hard, but does get easier. Hang in there!
First of all **hugs** because i remember those first few weeks all to well. It does get better, but I also remember faintly wanting to hit every person who said that to me when I was exhausted.
Have you tried any types of wraps? I never used one but I have heard some people like them to keep their baby close but still have their hands free to do other things.
For me, nights were the time when it was the hardest, and i shed the most stress/exhaustion induced tears. I just think I was dealing with all the changes, and that was the time of day I felt most alone.
I know it's hard, but don't be afraid to let people help you. I had a reallllllly hard time with that in the begining. I was single from day one of conception and made the choice to do this all on my own so I felt that I didn't have the right to need help because I knew what I was getting in to. If people offer they usually really mean it, so take them up on it.
You are a strong person for doing by yourself. Hang in there! We are all here for support if you need us!
First of all you can totally do this!!! The first couple of weeks are the hardest and it seems to get better and better after that. I am the single mom of two, my oldest is 8 and my newest addition is just 3 months. Between the 2 I had forgotten how hard it is the first couple of weeks. But somehow you just get through it.
Yes, sleep when baby does!! At least for the first couple of weeks, as your baby grows and starts sleeping longer you won't need to do it as much. Try to get things done by doing a little here and a little there. Put baby in swing or bouncer and wash a couple of dishes. As your baby gets older she will entertain herself for longer periods of time too.
Yes, ask for help. Everyone needs a break sometimes. Ask someone to watch the baby for just 20 minutes so you can take a nice shower or bath and relax. I'm sure your parents would be more then happy to get some more baby time too!
Hang in there it only gets better. And when she starts smiling at you it will make everything worth it
I don't have much to add other than good luck. I had such a difficult time the first 6 weeks, even though I lived with my parents, too. I don't know if you're BFing or not, but my mom would get up with my LO on the weekends during the night so I'd get two full nights of sleep a week.
I know it seems like it will last forever, and they will be the longest weeks of your life, but really you only have a few left before you get into a comfortable rhythm with the baby and feel more confident and comfortable with everything.